[annielovesbacon]

What is "happy," really??
Now that I'm actively analyzing my emotions, I've realized that I have a very poor grasp on identifying my emotions. I basically can only verbalize if I feel "good" or "bad."
I don't know what it means to be happy. If I just say it was a "good" day, does that mean I was happy? (Usually my definition of "good" is literally just "not bad" -- as in, I got out of bed and didn't feel like absolute garbage.)
Is being content the same as happy?

I tried to explain this confusion to my T but I don't think she understood. How do you define happy?

[growlycat]

My last t had me do a similar excersise but he didn't want me to aim for things that made me "happy". That seems like a lofty goal when you are depressed. No he wanted me to jot down moments in my crappy workday that were more positive than the rest of the day. If I went for a walk and a puppy came up to me that would count. Or the coworker who gave support when another was being s jerk. Or maybe I won something small like a movie ticket. Small moments of sucking less than the other moments.

[annielovesbacon]

Originally Posted by growlycat

My last t had me do a similar excersise but he didn't want me to aim for things that made me "happy". That seems like a lofty goal when you are depressed. No he wanted me to jot down moments in my crappy workday that were more positive than the rest of the day. If I went for a walk and a puppy came up to me that would count. Or the coworker who gave support when another was being s jerk. Or maybe I won something small like a movie ticket. Small moments of sucking less than the other moments.

Thank you... maybe that is what I should focus on. Her words were "small moments of happiness within your day" but wasn't more specific than that -- maybe I can include "moments that suck less." I'm in a pretty bad depressive episode at the moment and most moments suck

[captgut]

Hi Annie! I'm sorry you feel depressed.

I agree with growlycat. You can find small moments that suck less.
I would write:
- I saw a man dressed like Gandalf
- I had a cup of coffee
- I had an awesome dream

Sorry my life is boring
But I managed to find some "positive" moments... you can do it too!

[growlycat]

I know that place too well. Another way old t put it was to write down 4 things during the day I was grateful for. Like that first cup of coffee in the morning. I think he must've read this study https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psy...ul-brain%3famp

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by captgut

Hi Annie! I'm sorry you feel depressed.

I agree with growlycat. You can find small moments that suck less.
I would write:
- I saw a man dressed like Gandalf
- I had a cup of coffee
- I had an awesome dream

Sorry my life is boring
But I managed to find some "positive" moments... you can do it too!

If you saw Gandalf your life is more exciting than mine!

[Moment]

Maybe instead of "happy" you could note moments when you feel "flow," a kind of energized, full, concentration on something challenging that you are doing?

I feel that most of my truly "happy" moments happen during or after periods of "flow," and flow is easier to identify for me.....

If you look up "flow" online you see a lot of descriptions on it.

A person cannot ruminate when in "flow." And "flow" is inherently positive and forward looking. When I am depressed it is hard to think about being "happy" but I work towards finding activities that produce a feeling of "flow" and that can help...

[growlycat]

Yes, to me "flow" is when you get so absorbed in an activity that time flys. That's a good suggestion

Is your t CBT? I don't think I could do this exercise because for me feelings have to be felt and writing them down analysing them defeats their purpose. This is just my opinion only and if you really struggle with writing the happy thoughts it can highlight just how bad your life is which can make us Anti happy!!!
I really like the others ideas about morning coffee and seeing Gandalf. Now these would make me happy too and excited, do you have anxiety too?
I ask because that inhibits happiness, in gestalt they have a theory that ' anxiety is unsupported excitement' meaning when we feel happy and excited we don't know what to do with it and we worry and it turns into anxiety.
Do you do any body work in your therapy Annie? I think this could really help with your feelings. I still have trouble identifying my feelings but it gets easier. My ex t as bad as she was really good at helping me recognise my feelings. She would give me a menu of possibilities every time I didn't know. I think a lot of us struggle with emotional expression because emotions are not tolerated in some households.

[annielovesbacon]

Originally Posted by Moment

Maybe instead of "happy" you could note moments when you feel "flow," a kind of energized, full, concentration on something challenging that you are doing?

I feel that most of my truly "happy" moments happen during or after periods of "flow," and flow is easier to identify for me.....

If you look up "flow" online you see a lot of descriptions on it.

A person cannot ruminate when in "flow." And "flow" is inherently positive and forward looking. When I am depressed it is hard to think about being "happy" but I work towards finding activities that produce a feeling of "flow" and that can help...

Originally Posted by growlycat

Yes, to me "flow" is when you get so absorbed in an activity that time flys. That's a good suggestion

I had never heard of the term "flow" used in that way before, but I like it! That makes sense to me. Thank you for the suggestion!! For me that would look like when I get absorbed in a painting I'm doing or when I'm out with friends so I'm not drowning in negative thoughts

[annielovesbacon]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

Is your t CBT? I don't think I could do this exercise because for me feelings have to be felt and writing them down analysing them defeats their purpose. This is just my opinion only and if you really struggle with writing the happy thoughts it can highlight just how bad your life is which can make us Anti happy!!!
I really like the others ideas about morning coffee and seeing Gandalf. Now these would make me happy too and excited, do you have anxiety too?
I ask because that inhibits happiness, in gestalt they have a theory that ' anxiety is unsupported excitement' meaning when we feel happy and excited we don't know what to do with it and we worry and it turns into anxiety.
Do you do any body work in your therapy Annie? I think this could really help with your feelings. I still have trouble identifying my feelings but it gets easier. My ex t as bad as she was really good at helping me recognise my feelings. She would give me a menu of possibilities every time I didn't know. I think a lot of us struggle with emotional expression because emotions are not tolerated in some households.

My T is mostly CBT although we do work with other methods sometimes. Yes I do have anxiety -- I had not heard about the Gestalt theory before! Luckily my anxiety has been under better control lately. I finally found a med combination that works for me.

May I ask what body work is? I'm not familiar with that term in therapy