[Lemoncake]

I was suicidal last September and have been seeing my therapist twice a week for almost 8 months. Every session has been intense. I just cry. I feel like have made slow painful progress, coming to terms with childhood abuse and trauma I was in denial about. But overall I just feel so drained and worn out by the whole process.

I do love my therapist and he will be away for the first time for a week on Monday, but I feel like I need a longer break away from him restarting in september. We've talked about his break before and my fears about him leaving and had our last session yesterday. I guess I would have liked an acknowledgement that he was leaving, a back up plan of what to do if I was very distressed or maybe details of another therapist. To be told that we'd start again the following week or to be given a transition object or a real hug instead of being told that he felt like he wanted to hug me- after I just sat and cried without saying a word for the first 40 mins and only talking in the last 10. It's just a week but it's not just a week. Maybe I just want to prove that I can cope on my own. I pay for therapy myself,but because I'm choosing to take a break and missing sessions I feel like I should pay for the three weeks that I want to miss. I feel childish saying this, but if he can take breaks when he wants to without consequences why can't I? If I owe money I will honour that, but would you pay?

I would go by the contract you agreed at the beginning of your work together. In my therapy contract I don't have to pay provided I give 48 hours notice of cancellation.
Personally I think that's fair and I wouldn't see a therapist who wanted me to pay for pre-planned breaks. But do check your contract and see whether you've already agreed to pay for breaks. If you haven't, then don't.

[Lemoncake]

Thank you for taking the time to reply. Our sessions we always based on skype . but I only saw him in person for the past two months. I didn't officially sign anything.This was from the first email he sent me: "Please think carefully about whether you are able to commit your time on a regular basis as you will be charged even if you do not attend your session. If you talk to me in advance of any absence, it may be possible to reschedule subject to availability. I will inform you of any breaks that I intend to take in plenty of time. "

I'll email him but i'm not sure if i'm making the right choice.

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

Thank you for taking the time to reply. Our sessions we always based on skype . but I only saw him in person for the past two months. I didn't officially sign anything.This was from the first email he sent me: "Please think carefully about whether you are able to commit your time on a regular basis as you will be charged even if you do not attend your session. If you talk to me in advance of any absence, it may be possible to reschedule subject to availability. I will inform you of any breaks that I intend to take in plenty of time. "

I'll email him but i'm not sure if i'm making the right choice.

That does constitute a contract if you agreed to start seeing him after reading that. I would email him first to clarify whether you will be charged.
It seems an unfair thing to me. I guess one way round it would be to quit and call him when you want to return. Though you would run the risk of losing any regular scheduled time slot.