[Elio]

This past weekend I saw a sign that said

You are allowed to feel happy.

This got me thinking on the concept of deserve verse allowed. I know logically that we all deserve a good life and to be happy so when people tell me I deserve to be happy, I just kind of nod, yes I deserve it.. doesn't mean I get what I deserve. Seeing the phrase with the word allowed seems to make a difference, like I don't have to feel guilt when I am happy.

Does it make a difference to you? If so how? Also, does putting it into one of your core beliefs change that belief for you?

[unaluna]

I took a DBT course about 10 years agi, and one of our homework assignments was to complete the sentence "I deserve..." It only then occurred to me that i never used the word deserve in a positive sense, only negative - i deserve to be ignored, etc etc. It was a real eye opener for me. My mother always used to tell me that "that was for American kids, not YOU" (yes, i was born here!). Its very hard to think that anything (not just material goods) is for me. Im working on it.

[BayBrony]

I don't like the idea of "deserving " to be happy. What is, is. There is no use in fighting reality. Good things happen for no understandable reason and bad things do too. What I believe in is my power as the agent of my own life..if I do not like the way things are, if reality as it stands is not happy for me, I will work to change it. I am not big on allowed either. Who is allowing me to feel anything???
But i am a Buddhist. And I think my definition of happiness may be different from many. What I seek isn't even technically happiness but peace and connection to all living things. In my view, suffering is both inevitable AND useful. Nothing shines a light on your flaws quite like suffering. Most people can act like a benevelont monk when their bellies and pockets are full, they are warm and dry and well rested and feel welcome. When you are hungry, or lonely or cold or whatever, that is when you can face the places where you require growth.....

[unaluna]

Thanks, bay. Too much catholic in me to "deserve" - "whosoever shall be first, shall be last." I guess Trump forgot that little tidbit when he pushed past the president of montenegro. THATS what was bugging me about that move! And thats kind of how deserve sounds to me. It outshouts grateful for what i have, and being a good steward of what ive been given.