[hopealwayz]

Before I began therapy, the T said that hugs would be okay and texting as well.

Now he said that in the next session, we are going to work on boundaries. So I know that probably means that my texting privileges are going to be taken away.

But this time, I only texted in rare occasions.

So I don't know what I did wrong for him to bring up the boundary issue.

Unless he was talking about the letter to the pharmacist and maybe he wants to explain the boundaries with the pharmacist.

Now I'm scared and confused.

[Vaporeon]

Don't quote me on this, but I think your therapist is referring to the letter you were going to send to your pharmacist. Try not to worry about your upcoming session. I think that if your therapist didn't want you to text him anymore, he would have told you in an email or text message.

[hopealwayz]

I asked him if he could clarify what he meant. I have an exam tomorrow and now I am unable to study.

It seems like he blocked my phone number because none of the texts say delivered on iMessage. He did email me back a lengthy answer about the letter. He said that he was happy to see me on Tuesday.r

[hopealwayz]

I'm going to fail my exam tomorrow. I can't even get motivated to study.

[Vaporeon]

I'm sorry. Is there anything you can do to help relax, like listening to music or just doing some deep breathing? Do you take anything for anxiety?

[anais_anais]

It's possible but not necessarily true that this situation is the way you interpret it. When my T talked to me about boundaries, it was a session of learning how to sense and enforce my own, and how to sense and respect his and other people, not so much a discussion of what I could and couldn't do, I don't think he is (or should be) out to punish you or restrict you. Boundaries are not so much about restriction as learning how to respect yourself and others. After a violation, yes, in certain cases a restriction would need to be enforced. But I hope that your T is gearing your next session toward learning and personal exploration.

You can practice sensing your own boundaries by continuing to study (though I know you are hurting) and remembering that your success on this test and integrity as a person does not hinge on what T (or anyone else) will or will not do with you.

[hopealwayz]

Originally Posted by Vaporeon

I'm sorry. Is there anything you can do to help relax, like listening to music or just doing some deep breathing? Do you take anything for anxiety?

I am prescribed Xanax for anxiety.

I love listening to music.

[hopealwayz]

Originally Posted by anais_anais

It's possible but not necessarily true that this situation is the way you interpret it. When my T talked to me about boundaries, it was a session of learning how to sense and enforce my own, and how to sense and respect his and other people, not so much a discussion of what I could and couldn't do, I don't think he is (or should be) out to punish you or restrict you. Boundaries are not so much about restriction as learning how to respect yourself and others. After a violation, yes, in certain cases a restriction would need to be enforced. But I hope that your T is gearing your next session toward learning and personal exploration.

You can practice sensing your own boundaries by continuing to study (though I know you are hurting) and remembering that your success on this test and integrity as a person does not hinge on what T (or anyone else) will or will not do with you.

Wow, that makes total sense from that perspective.

[hopealwayz]

I am thinking about canceling my therapy appointment on Tuesday.

[feileacan]

Originally Posted by hopealwayz

I am thinking about canceling my therapy appointment on Tuesday.

Can you explain why do you think it would be good idea?

[Vaporeon]

Maybe you can listen to music for a little while and try to study again. I hope you're able to focus on preparing for the exam. I wouldn't take the Xanax unless you're having trouble sleeping tonight. I don't know about you, but benzos make me extremely tired and it's very hard to focus on anything when I'm tired. Best wishes.

[Out There]

Do what works for you to lessen your anxiety. Remember when we're anxious our anxiety goes everywhere - so it's " I'm anxious about this , this , my exam etc ". Do you meditate because that's really good at quieting down the mind chatter ?

[hopealwayz]

Originally Posted by feileacan

Can you explain why do you think it would be good idea?

My mind is running through all of the worst case scenarios and I'm scared of going there and getting hurt.

[hopealwayz]

I'm going to try music for a little bit and then try to look over my study books.

[feileacan]

Originally Posted by hopealwayz

My mind is running through all of the worst case scenarios and I'm scared of going there and getting hurt.

Maybe it would be good to remind yourself that nothing has really happened that should warrant those worst case scenarios to occur.

As I understand, you sent your T a letter addressed to someone else and the T responded something that made you think that you have done something wrong again.

But you haven't done anything wrong, right? You have texted your T but as you said - you have an agreement with T that this is ok. Thus, this can't be wrong. You sent the letter to the T instead of sending to the pharmacist - I believe this was the best thing to do in this situation and thus clearly can't be wrong either.

Or what else do you imagine what have you done why these worst case scenarios might realise?

[hopealwayz]

I don't know. All of this has me frozen in fear and there's no way that I can study. I just can't. On top of everything, I'm scared of failing the exam because I need more time to study. I'm so overwhelmed today.

[feileacan]

What happens if you fail the exam?

[LonesomeTonight]

I doubt he blocked your texts. Sometimes iMessage doesn't show some of mine as delivered, but then the recipient responds to them later. Could be that it's some iMessage glitch, he's in an area with no wifi/poor cell coverage (like some floors of my house!), or just his general phone settings (there was a recent software update, too).I think you should keep your appointment

[hopealwayz]

Originally Posted by feileacan

What happens if you fail the exam?

I won't be licensed as a pharmacy technician.

[hopealwayz]

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

I doubt he blocked your texts. Sometimes iMessage doesn't show some of mine as delivered, but then the recipient responds to them later. Could be that it's some iMessage glitch, he's in an area with no wifi/poor cell coverage (like some floors of my house!), or just his general phone settings (there was a recent software update, too).I think you should keep your appointment

Hi LT :-)

Now I probably have T confused because I have sent several different emails with mixed messages. Like in one of them, I said maybe I should take a break from therapy and then I said that I was coming. Then, I wrote and asked if we could do a phone session today instead of an office appointment on Tuesday. He should obviously know that I'm in emotional turmoil right now but he may not even respond which will make me feel like he doesn't care.

[hopealwayz]

I tried to study and it was impossible. I'm too upset.

[feileacan]

Originally Posted by hopealwayz

I won't be licensed as a pharmacy technician.

I assume that it doesn't mean that you won't ever be a licensed pharmacy technician but just that you wouldn't become one immediately. Surely you can re-take the exam if you fail?

[feileacan]

Originally Posted by hopealwayz

Now I probably have T confused because I have sent several different emails with mixed messages. Like in one of them, I said maybe I should take a break from therapy and then I said that I was coming. Then, I wrote and asked if we could do a phone session today instead of an office appointment on Tuesday. He should obviously know that I'm in emotional turmoil right now but he may not even respond which will make me feel like he doesn't care.

Can you remind me/you/us how this all happened? What triggered your upset today?

Considering that today is Sunday then this could be the reason why the T does not respond - T might just not check or deal with the work-related correspondence today or at least not constantly all day long.

[junkDNA]

When is your exam? Can you reschedule it

[hopealwayz]

The exam is at 11:00 AM tomorrow morning and it's too late to reschedule.

T wrote me back and sent me a fairly lengthy email saying that he was out of the country. And that is also why he said that he had to block people's numbers because his phone was going off in the middle of the night due to the time difference.

And he also explained what he meant about the boundary comment. He wasn't referring to us. He was saying how that letter to the pharmacy could be breaking a boundary.

His email made me feel a thousand times better.

This therapist is definitely a keeper. :-)