[GoodVibrations101]

I have been seeing a decent therapist for about 9 months, but I am thinking of ending with her and seeing another (if I can find one in my insurance plan).

Here are my reasons:

1. This therapist is really slow about answering emails or phone calls. A couple times, I have needed quick answers and she has not been quick in replying. Rescheduling is a pain in the neck, since she rarely returns messages promptly. I feel, too, like if I should ever have a crisis situation, she wouldn't even know until it was too late. Plus, I sense she must be checked out of her job to be so slow in responding. I have mentioned to her a couple times that her slowness to respond is a problem for me, and she seems to hear but doesn't respond.

2. She has several times disparaged private schools as lesser than public schools, and I attended a few private schools, and I now teach at a private school. I think private schools are generally preferable in many respects to public schools, but not always. Her disparagement feels tone deaf to me.

3. She isn't helping my progress towards weight loss. She seems to think being healthy all the time means everyone can eat as long as it's healthy. I have told her that my metabolism is very slow, and I just can't eat a normal amount and still lose weight. I don't feel like she is supporting my weight loss.

4. I am older, and for some reason, of all of the ways I am unconventional, this one seems to have worried her. She has tiptoed for the last 9 months around asking me my age, and finally she just blurted out the question a few sessions ago. I told her the truth, and she seemed worried/fazed by my age as if my struggles in life were already lost so why bother? It seems weird that she is open-minded and unconventional in some ways, but this particular ageist assumption she makes.

Thoughts on my reasons?

[CantExplain]

Everyone has flaws, of course, and therapy is genuinely difficult. It is difficult to know what is a deal-breaker and what is a survivable annoyance.

If weight loss is your primary reason for seeing her, then her lack of support for that would be a sufficient reason to stop.

[stopdog]

What is slow in responding? A couple of days or a couple of weeks? I don't look to the therapist in times of real emergency - to me, that is not something I think therapists can handle.

[kecanoe]

If you are not satisfied, that seems to me to be enough reason to see if you can find better. You won't find perfect, but maybe someone better.

[Anastasia~]

It kind of sounds to me like you've made your decision but are maybe a little unsure. All of your concerns are valid. Your T, in not communicating her contact policy when you asked sounds like she didn't listen to your concern. Her uninvited personal belief comments about private schools are uncalled for, her lack of interest in the way you want to lose weight, and her seeming issues (?) about age are not conducive to your therapy as you note.

I don't know if you have a way to find other therapists, but if you can tell your T that you are looking for a different kind of T, maybe she can at least give you some references, look in the phone book, etc. When interviewing your Ts, it would be a good idea to write your ideas of goals down and ask them how they would handle this. Best of luck! Let us know how it goes.