[colorsofthewind12]

I went to my latest session hoping to be very vulnerable about something that was bothering me, but my T creates this environment where I find it difficult to be open and vulnerable with him. So instead, I rambled on about other things(albeit those things being important, too). And I so badly needed his support.

But now I am left with the stuff that has been bothering me. And to top that off, my T was so snarky and subtly condescending towards me during certain parts of my session, it really hurt my feelings.

I am really upset now and I have the urge to self-harm.

I think I need to leave this T. I don't think it's normal to be destabilized so often after my sessions. I am very attached to him, and I believe him to be very good at what he does. I just wonder if maybe we no longer are a good fit.

[Maven]

I'm sorry that happened to you. I would probably leave a therapist that made me feel that way, but others may disagree with me that a therapist should be supportive. I mean, if you have no one that makes you feel supported (and I'm not saying you don't), maybe your therapist should be that one person you can count on.

[DP_2017]

Before you decide to leave...

I've been there before, it has happened more than once and I hate the feeling of everything "pent up" so what I began doing, was lists/notes. Sometimes I email them to him sometimes I print them and bring them, and he or I will read it and go through it

It helps me stay focused on what I want to discuss and helps him know where to take the journey. I'd consider trying this especially since you like him a lot

Good luck

[Calilady]

Snarky, subtle, and condescending were at times, what my former t was to me. I despised it and it caused me more pain, being that I was very attached to her.
It injured trust and without trust, there was no foundation.

If it doesn't feel good to you, it might be the best thing to do for you. I don't think we always need to "suffer" through things and endure the pain of situations that we should leave, but only you know all of the details to your T relationship and I don't want to impose my beliefs onto you.

I'm quicker to leave now, if I don't feel it.

[stopdog]

I would try out others to see how it seemed with them. That way one can see if it is therapy or the therapist that is the problem.

[satsuma]

I think if you find it hard to be open with the T, and then you leave feeling destabilised, then I would agree with your opinion that this is probably not a good T or not a good approach for you. It could be very interesting to try another one, as SD suggested? You could see if you would feel differently about therapy, working with a different T.

[colorsofthewind12]

I just wish he would allow out of session contact. It would stabilize me and then I can go back to my "normal" state. But he doesn't allow that, and I respect that that's not what he is able or willing to offer.

But going through this process I am realizing more and more that I need someone who is able to offer me out of session contact for moments when I feel dysregulated.

That's what I am going to have ask for upfront if I interview a new T if that's something they offer.