So many appts, so little time

So I had another appt with my T today.

We talked about how I felt after the last appt with him on Monday (disliked him a lot, kinda spacey and not in the best of moods).

Then we talked about how I seem to tune out with stuff and how my memories are rather fragmented. As in most people can recall events from when they were children... I really can't. I mean I manufacture memories from what people tell me and can usually get a vague memory if I see a picture, but that's about it.

Quite odd... I think.

Then we talked about my self-injuring habits again (not fun) and about my inability to remember/isolate specific emotions.

Basically did a blow-by-blow about what happened last session, a good portion I didn't really remember.

Odd...

Anyways, I've got a week and a half until I see him again. My choice. Otherwise it could have been only one week.

Also I *was* on a waitlist to see a psychiatrist that I was in a group with last year (if anyone remembers my posts from then) ... the group was going to start tomorrow, but is postponed a week.

So he had a free slot, so I will be seeing him tomorrow.

And that scares me. I mean I want it, but I don't know what to say. I dont know how to justify coming to talk to him.

HALP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edit: Also forgot to say that the abuse centre my T referred me to, the woman phoned me back with two slots available in two weeks. Apparently only works there one afternoon a week. Thankfully its a time slot I can actually do. Tried phoning, but will phone tomorrow and say I'm interested in the appt. So scary.

It sounds like you are getting a support system around you. That is awesome. Maybe tomorrow you can start by telling him generally how you have been doing and coping. then maybe see how it goes. I am so happy things are starting to fall into place.

BB