[MatBell]

My T has for a long time urged me to join some kind of hobby/social setting with other people. We settled on choir. It took a very long time for me to go, but now I have an appointment.

I sense a slight frustration with her when I'm not showing progress and I don't have something new to tell her. Then I want to impress her and when I fall short - haven't done what we talked about - I feel bad, almost ashamed. I really just want her to say "Way to go! You did great! Really showing a lot of improvement".

Another thing is that this choir-thing is only something I do to appease her. Otherwise I think I would have done it a long time ago. She has kept returning to it and urged me on. I just can't tell her that I'm not sure about it. So I go along. Well, maybe it will be fun....

Is this a normal reaction to have? Can some of you relate?

[HowDoYouFeelMeow?]

I know how you feel. I'm ashamed, too, when I haven't done my homework exercises. It feels like I'm being disrespectful because I didn't do the tasks that T prepared for me... like I'm wasting her time. I think that she'd forgive me, though. Forgiving oneself is the hard part. Hang in there!
--Meow

[Shazerac]

You are right maybe it will be fun. Or Maybe you're only doing to to appease her. so what?

Sometimes Ts push us to do things because left on our own ...we won't. Please don't beat yourself up for not progressing at a rate that you "should" be progressing. We all grow and change at our own pace.

[Moment]

There are times my therapist has urged me to do stuff I wasn't excited to do. But when I did it, finally, it wasn't so much to appease him as because I felt he was right and I should do it because it would be good for me.

I mean, do you *want* to do choir?

I also wonder about this seeking her approval and feeling you must "appease" her. "Appease" is a word usually used when you worry about someone causing you harm if you don't do what they want. I mean, do these feelings come up elsewhere in your life, like with your family, etc? Are you living the life you want to live or one you feel you must to get the approval of others? If that is true then it definitely seems like something to talk about in therapy.

[RaineD]

I do things just to appease my therapist too.

I think it's normal to do that to some extent with people we care about. It's okay as long as you're able to push back on some things and you're not just bending over backwards to please her all the time.