She called and left me a voicemail this afternoon. It was helpful in a way because she acted/sounded super caring about how much pain and how hard this is for me. That really helped my abandonment fears as I anticipated she'd be pretty upset at my going behind her back and leaving her a few angry voicemails. All my shame spirals have really calmed down but I'm still torn because she didn't take any responsibility. I don't want to stay mad at her for not seeing her part in this but I also don't want the cycle of her changing her mind, lying, and taking touch away at the last minute to continue.
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