Any success stories?

(Warning: Sad rant ahead)

Hi Psych central friends,

So I’m in a deep spiral of sadness/ depression at the moment. I saw an extremely triggering picture on social media earlier today—it was an innocent picture of my FIL feeding my new nephew a bottle, but super triggering for me, my inlaws were not at all supportive of when I was nursing my son, so I spent a solid year being isolated to another room when I was breastfeeding. I got as close as I’ve had in my life of having a mental breakdown when my SIL announced she was pregnant, as it was a living breathing reminder of not having my mom around. My mom was physically and verbally abusive my whole childhood and my dad did nothing to stop it; both my parents are still living, but I cut off contact with my mom years ago.

Anyhow. The end of this month will be 4 months of weekly therapy. I am stupidly, amazingly lucky to have found a GREAT therapist, and one who takes my insurance with unlimited sessions and doesn’t cost me a dime. I’m crazy slow to trust and to open up but I’m finally starting to trust my therapist. I keep a journal on my phone, and earlier today I was transferring the entries for the past 4 months into a new app (shout out to the nice person who suggesting the app Journaling!). And I feel like nothing has changed. I’m still in this awful place of hurt, grieving for the childhood lost and the mom I’ll never have. My therapist and I talk about it a lot, how long this grieving stage takes—we both use Judith Herman’s “Trauma and Recovery” quite a bit as a guide. (I highly recommend.)

But what if nothing changes? I’ll never have back what was lost, I deserved a better childhood and adolescence. And right now, I hurt for what I don’t have in my life as an adult, I’ll never have a mom in my adult life or supportive family. (I’m an only child.)

My therapy session isn’t until Thursday. My therapist has never done anything to prohibit out of session contact (he’s offered a few times), but I could never, I would hate to bother him, and I would die of embarrassment.

Anyhow. Anyone have an therapy success stories or little milestones? This therapy thing, it does work, right?

(Thanks for listening friends.)

I have an incredible therapist and have made giant leaps of progress with her. My original herapist would probably not even recognize me. I am confident, successful, outgoing, and mentally strong. Completely the opposite of who I used to be. Therapy does work.

In my experience (as I can't speak for anyone else), yes. It definitely works. Although there have been bumps in the road and ruptures between t and I and the work is hard... sometimes brutal.... but for me, yes. It works.

The biggest success of my entire almost-6 years of therapy just happened in the past couple weeks. I have finally let go of the anger at my mother for not being the mother that I needed when I was young. And I have never felt so free.

I'm not done yet, there's still work to be done. But that was a hugely ginormous piece of it for me and I honestly don't think it ever would have happened if t and I hadn't had a pretty bad rupture back in July. I actually quit via email over it and stayed away for 3 weeks before realizing I needed to go back. We have worked really really deeply since then.

(((MrsDuckL))) I wish you all the best.

eta: oh yes what Starry said. When I first started therapy I was an extremely closed-up person who, when in social situations even with family, would talk to people while looking at the ground. That was the first thing people noticed had changed in me after I started therapy, was that I began making eye contact when talking with people.

Definitely not a success story (yet), but, despite all of my therapy-related problems, several friends have commented on the positive changes they've observed in me these past couple months. So something must be happening.

Hang in there.Sometimes the changes are so subtle and painful you won't notice them, but they're still there and you're making progress with each and every session even if it doesn't feel like that. I don't feel like I'm a success story per se, but I'm close to ten months of therapy. In one of my recent sessions I saw for myself how I had altered. I commented that me from 7 months ago would have reacted with pure anger in response to R doing something, but the me of today said it was okay it happens.

I don't consider myself a "sucess story", but I have made improvements thanks to therapy. I would say I'm mostly over ex-T abandoning me. I don't obsess about her or cry over her. That took me almost 2 years to get to. Now we're working on my abandonment issues.

Also, I've been in and out of therapy for 23 years. Part of my growth is just maturing, but a lot of it has been therapy. I have learned to cope with my own anger, I've stopped SI'ing, I'm a little more confident when out in public, I drive myself places, I have good coping skills that help, I've processed my past, I have somewhat healthy relationships with my family, I take better care of myself, I can identify my feelings and can express them, etc.

I still have a lot to work on, but I've made a lot of progress.

I'm with Lemoncake, I feel like 4 months is a pretty short period of time.
I've been going longer (think years) and I believe I have changed.
Stuff that would have sent me spiraling downward in the past doesn't affect me as much.
Are all of my problems fixed? No, but I think I have a lot more awareness of them and understanding of them. I have a lot more knowledge of what tends to bother me and why and how to react, rather than just seemingly randomly flying off the handle.

It has taken me a long time, but I think I have made progress even though I have had some crises lately. In general, I feel more grounded more often but still have work to do. Four months isn't long, i've been in therapy for years.

Attachment therapy has allowed me to participate in making a good and happy life for myself and the best thing is , I've adult enough to control it and not let unmet needs throw me off course. I used to be knocked out for months at a time, then weeks, and days. Now, I only have moments till I can turn myself around and actually choose what is best for me. My former therapist used to say (and still does) a choice is not a choice unless you can freely choose equally and be okay with your decision.

I think therapy has been just as important as medication in helping me manage my depression and anxiety. I have been in therapy for 17 years, sometimes weekly, sometimes every other week, and I strongly believe that I would not have been able to finish my degree, create a happy marriage, find satisfying work, and weather the storms of my life without learning what I learned in therapy. My childhood was extremely difficult, with a substantial amount of emotinoal neglect and even some instances of abuse, mostly at the hands of a deeply narcissistic parent who demanded I always be perfect. Therapy has taught me how to feel and manage my emotions and repair some of the "attachment injuries" I sustained growing up. I still have work to do and go through difficult times, but therapy teaches me that I can come through those difficulties and gives me concrete coping mechanisms for doing so.