[RaineD]

Why or why not? How do you know?
And would you want 100% honesty?

I don't think he lies to me, but he doesn't tell me absolutely everything. It would be untherapeutic to tell me every thought that enters his head during a session. I think he gets the balance right .
I trust him to try and be helpful and avoid causing me harm.

[AllHeart]

I think she is but I couldn't know 100% for sure. She has kindly told me some harsh truths and seems to have a 'tell it like it is' way about her. To not be 100% honest with me wouldn't do me any good. I would rather be given the opportunity for growth by hearing a painful truth than to be inhibited by a lie.

[Daeva]

All mine have been even if the truth hurt

[stopdog]

I seriously doubt it. I don't particularly look to those people for honesty.I can't imagine what good it would do either of us. The woman is the least consistent person I've ever met and she constantly tries to rewrite history- usually in her favor.

As far as I know. I've had no concerns about their honesty.

[unaluna]

More like, the little dog has pulled the curtain away from the great and wonderful oz a time or two.

[DP_2017]

ya i don't see why he would lie. he has said some tough hard truths to me. he doesn't always sugar coat things

[lucozader]

No, I don't think he is.

I can't prove it... but he contradicts himself sometimes, and often I feel like there's something he's not telling me.

I really feel like I want him to be 100% honest, but then... considering what the reality of that would be, maybe not.

[awkwardlyyours]

No -- in terms of 'facts', she's lied about all sorts of stuff (not big-deal important stuff but still).

But (rather to my surprise), she's been quite honest in an emotional sense.

I am okay with that, although yes ideally, I'd prefer to not have to deal with any of the lies to begin with.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I think she is. There have been no contradictions. She's very consistent. I've told her several times to be completely honest with me. I'd rather know the truth, be upset, and work it out than be lied to.

I needed 100% honesty from my therapist. She promised me she would not "knowingly lie" to me. I didn't trust that statement.

Something came up with a former friend of mine. Her family was listed as members of a local group and they had played a prominent part in forming the community group. I had been speaking about my hurt and anger towards this person that turned out to be an old acquaintance of her family. It did not connect for her or me that we knew some of the same people because of this group. I lit into her about lying to me. At the time, I was very stressed and suicidal because of a family matter. I called her and ripped her apart, and she took it.

My next appointment we talked about it, and I found out she had similar feelings about this acquaintance; we both thought her a jerk and I was right about my decision to move on.

In the beginning when I had difficulty with not getting in touch with her immediately. I believed she was lying to me. But as time went on, I realized that is just life and learned delayed gratification just like a small child.

[~Christina]

Yes and I appreciated it.

I moved states and can't see him , I miss him he always was straight forward.

[StickyTwig]

I often say in therapy "Do you remember when I told you about X?" and my T always fires back "yes", straight away, without even stopping to think about it!

I find that highly suspect, as I often refer to things that aren't very memorable as all. Like things I mentioned very briefly several months ago. I am sure I could catch them out by asking if they remembered something I know I have never mentioned, and they would still reply yes, they remembered it!

But I don't really care that much. T's have to react fast and think on their feet, they don't want to come across as uncertain and hesitant. So I think things often come out of their mouths that are a bit economical with the truth. Its fine with me, so long as they don't do it in a calculating manipulative way, I do not mind.

[Travelinglady]

I think she puts a positive spin on some things, like if I am fat.

[Calilady]

My former one was not. She said that she offered lowered payments for many other clients, then she said it was only me.
She said she worked w/insurance by waiting for them to reimburse other clients, but then she said she only did this with me.
She said that she had a client who cusses her out once a month and leaves by slamming the door, then said that I was the only client she had who voiced her anger towards her (and this is me just saying "I'm angry" at you and not cussing or slamming doors).

Eventually, it seems as if I caught her in a lie as to a cancellation.

[UglyDucky]

Originally Posted by RaineD

Why or why not? How do you know?
And would you want 100% honesty?

No, my T is not 100% honest w/me all of the time.

Explanation: There is the issue of lying by omission. Of the times I've felt or known T has not been honest, I could understand it was done bc it would have been a bad time in therapy...causing me much distress. I know when T lies or omits information bc I'm observant and have a skill to read T's body language (it freaks T out at times).

Do I want 100% honesty? Not if it would damage our alliance or the therapy we've already done together. If I thought it was in any way malicious or a detriment to our therapy, I would confront T...and I have done just that a time or two.

I feel like she is, yes. I've tried to explain why and keep typing, deleting, typing, deleting, typing, deleting so I shan't try to explain myself any longer. It's just a feeling I get I guess.

[ScarletPimpernel]

Originally Posted by StickyTwig

I often say in therapy "Do you remember when I told you about X?" and my T always fires back "yes", straight away, without even stopping to think about it!

I find that highly suspect, as I often refer to things that aren't very memorable as all. Like things I mentioned very briefly several months ago. I am sure I could catch them out by asking if they remembered something I know I have never mentioned, and they would still reply yes, they remembered it!

But I don't really care that much. T's have to react fast and think on their feet, they don't want to come across as uncertain and hesitant. So I think things often come out of their mouths that are a bit economical with the truth. Its fine with me, so long as they don't do it in a calculating manipulative way, I do not mind.

Not all Ts are like that. My T admits when she doesn't remember things. She'll simply ask me to remind her. She has forgotten somethings that even she has said. She doesn't question me, she just apologizes for not remembering. And something like my birthday, she said she'll never remember. I don't blame her for that. I only remember birthdays because I put them on the calendar.

[Searching4meaning]

Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn

I feel like she is, yes. I've tried to explain why and keep typing, deleting, typing, deleting, typing, deleting so I shan't try to explain myself any longer. It's just a feeling I get I guess.

Thanks for this, Artie. I've done the type and delete a few times tonight. Practicing being here in this forum, I guess. This question gives me something to think about. I never questioned T's honesty, because I am so busy dealing with my own.

[healinginprogress]

I believe that she is as honest as she needs to be to maintain the therapeutic relationship with me. I don't think she can be 100% honest with me, and I try and avoid putting her into a position where she would have to be dishonest for my own mental health.

I know that I can ask her anything and she will answer it at honestly as possible. She won't lie, but that doesn't mean she's telling the truth if that makes sense.

[Argonautomobile]

I overthought this completely. What is total honesty, anyway? Is that like not having a filter?

C: How are you?

T:

Possible trigger:

Well, I'm tired and my balls are sweaty.

[Apollite]

My last T was disingenuous. She'd often play dumb and pretend not to know certain things or words, but she would do it in a way that would fool a child - not an adult. If I used a long word she would express shock, and ask me what it meant, but I got the impression that she was either checking if I knew the meaning or was trying to instill some kind of false confidence in me by making me think that I knew more than her.

It had the opposite effect though, and just made me feel like an idiot! I was offended that she didn't think I'd be able to see through it. I hate it when people try to manipulate me - especially when they're in a position of power. Confronting her wasn't an option because I had no proof, and I didn't want her to think I was paranoid.

At the time I was also having to deal with ATOS (an organisation that carries out work capability medical assessments) and felt like I needed support and understanding from her on this matter. These "medicals" are notoriously tough, and can often result in people losing their benefits. When I broached the subject, again, my T played dumb and claimed not to know what ATOS was and changed the subject. I found that hard to believe because at the time, there was so much controversy about this organisation that you couldn't look at a newspaper or watch a news channel without it being mentioned. You would have to have been living in a cave not to know the name at least.

If my T genuinely didn't know, then shame on her because I think that all mental health professionals (particularly NHS, because of the client base) should be aware of the struggles that face their unemployed clients, and be prepared to engage with them on this matter.

It is likely that she had been told not to discuss anything to do with politics or unemployment with her clients, and just stick to the script, which I think is wrong. I didn't expect her to be my careers advisor or to give benefits/welfare advice; I know she's not qualified to do that. I just would have liked her to acknowledge the difficulties I was facing, instead of flatly shutting the discussion down.

So no, my therapist wasn't honest with me 100%... And yet she wasn't (outwardly) dishonest either. She knew exactly what she was doing and it made me feel disempowered.

[feileacan]

Yes, I'm certain that he is honest with me. I would understand if he wasn't and then I would inquire him as long as I would understand what's the catch.

This doesn't mean that he tells me everything he is thinking. It is my therapy, after all, and not his.

[koru_kiwi]

no, i don't reckon ex-T was 100% honest with me...but that is ok...i wasn't either because i had my suspicions that he wan't being that forthcoming with me.