[peaches100]

I am posting this in 3 parts because it is so long)

PART 1

I saw my t again yesterday. We talked some more about whether or not I wanted to see a different therapist and about her boundary concerns if I did decide to switch t's.

I asked her why she was surprised to hear I'd written down the name of that one therapist last week. She said she had heard of her. I asked if she knew her, and she said No, just recognized her name.

I asked her why she said she'd be concerned about boundary crossings if I saw somebody else who was more open to between session contact. What did she think would happen?

She thought about it for a minute and then said she was more concerned that a more accessible t would cross boundaries with me, not the other way around. I told her I'd done some research on this one t, and she had alot of experience and credentials. Didn't she think that an experienced t would be capable of deciding what boundaries were appropriate? She agreed they probably would.

I brought up something about posting here to get other people's perspectives on my situation. (I didn't tell her the name of the board.) She reminded me that in the past, coming here has sometimes confused me more than helped me because I get so many differing opinions.

I agreed with her, but told her that when she has one opinion and I have another, then it's her word against mine. She asked me, "Is that how you see it? That we're against each other?" (or maybe she said "that we're competitors").

I said I didn't mean it that way. I just mean that when she thinks one way, and I think the other, I don't know which one of us to believe. Coming to PC helps me get a bigger perspective and see what other people think. If a majority of people think the way I do, then I feel like my perspective must have validity.

So she asked me what kind of feedback was I was getting here? I told her it was a mixture of opinions and suggestions. I said some people thought I should stick it out with her, but a number of them thought I should try a different therapist. I told her there also were some people who have much more email contact with their t than I do.

She said, "It seems like you are going to the psychology/therapy board to build a case for leaving." I said not really, I'm just trying to find out what other people think about it because I don't know what to do.

I told her that the two people who know me and my therapy situation the best have differing opinions. My husband feels strongly that I should stay with her, and my friend thinks I should try a different therapist or at least get a consult...and she has thought so for awhile now.

She asked me "Do you think there is ever a situation where both people can be right?" I said "I think there are situations where two people have differing opinions, and each one has a legitimate viewpoint. But if they are too different, things don't work out...kind of like when people get divorced and cite "irreconcilable differences."

I wasn't intending to use a romantic example to make this point. I just thought it was a good way to explain how I feel about our impasse, although I didn't come right out and say that I was talking about our therapy relationship. I could tell she got the message, though, from what she said next.

She said, "You seem to feel strongly about this. If you need to find a different therapist you think will fit your needs better, or consult with one, I will understand. I'll be sad, but I would never stand in the way of you doing something that you believe is best for you." She suggested that I could contact some t's and ask them what their boundaries were on between session contact.

I told her that I had left an email message with the one therapist whose name she recognized. I hadn't gone into detail about my situation, just asked if she had experience treating C-PTSD and what her boundaries were on offering support between sessions. So far, I had not heard back from her.

She said, "The fact that you took the step to contact a different therapist and inquire about her methods shows that you're headed in that direction. Maybe what we should be working on is bringing an end to this relationship."

[CantExplain]

Ts are often jealous of their patients getter outside opinions. On the other hand, they generally approve of patients building their own support networks.

Rational consistency is not one of their strengths, I find.