[elisewin]

Do you think/know your T likes you? How do you know? Is it in the way he behaves or have you asked him? If you ask a T, do ypu think he answers honestly?

[stopdog]

I don’t believe you can know. And I don’t think it’s a relevant question for me and what I was doing with therapy. But I suppose if one wanted to know -how does one know if anyone likes them- and go with that. I never found a therapist to be all that honest, but others on this forum will say theirs are- so maybe it’s just a crapshoot

[RaineD]

Mine has told me he likes me, but I don't know if I believe him.

[Amyjay]

I don't. And I don't think I am a very likeable person really. So I would expect that T doesn't really "like" me.

I used to spend a lot of time worry if he liked me but now I realise he likes me enough to continue working with me and it doesnt matter if he likes me all of me or wants to be my friend, there ia enough to work with me and that is the most important bit

[clueda]

Hmm, I don't really know and I would never be able to ask her. However, she has told me multiple times that she enjoys working with me. That's enough for me.

[elisewin]

Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker

I used to spend a lot of time worry if he liked me but now I realise he likes me enough to continue working with me and it doesnt matter if he likes me all of me or wants to be my friend, there ia enough to work with me and that is the most important bit

I wish I could think and be like that.

[captgut]

Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker

I used to spend a lot of time worry if he liked me but now I realise he likes me enough to continue working with me and it doesnt matter if he likes me all of me or wants to be my friend, there ia enough to work with me and that is the most important bit

Thank you so much for this post.

[Teddy Bear]

Don't worry if the T likes you. Do you get a benefit from therapy?

The same way I know anybody "likes" me. Are we in sync? Is the conversation comfortable and come with ease? Does that person treat me with respect and kindness? etc. It isn't really that difficult to tell if a person "likes" you.

[elisewin]

Originally Posted by Teddy Bear

Don't worry if the T likes you. Do you get a benefit from therapy?

Yes, but I trouble myself over this

[winterblues17]

I try not to think if she likes me or not because I don't really see myself as a likeable person in general. So I suppose if I overthought it I'd convince myself she didn't.
What I do try to think about is that she must like me enough to have stuck it out so long with me, and show me the kindness and warmth that she does. It's her job to behave that way but still it makes me feel cared about to a certain extent and right now I'm happy enough with that. Infanct having the thoughts that she might just think I'm a likeable person enough to want to continue this with me does give me a bit of confidence that I can't be all bad.

[stopdog]

I care more about whether I can abide them enough to hand them money each week. Their job is not hard -sitting there and being handed money. Them liking me is neither here nor there.

[zoiecat]

Originally Posted by elisewin

Yes, but I trouble myself over this

It sounds like this might be a good topic to bring up in therapy if you struggle with those thoughts. If you worry about your therapist liking you I can only assume that you think the same about people in real life. It may be helpful to tell your therapist or ask them how to deal with the need or want to know if people like you.

[elisewin]

Originally Posted by zoiecat

It sounds like this might be a good topic to bring up in therapy if you struggle with those thoughts. If you worry about your therapist liking you I can only assume that you think the same about people in real life. It may be helpful to tell your therapist or ask them how to deal with the need or want to know if people like you.

Nah, I trust people in my life like and love me, just this T relationship is so freaking confusing to me.

[ElectricManatee]

I've asked her, and I believe her. (I believe her in general, not just about that. She has told me enough hard truths for me to conclude she doesn't lie, even when it would feel better to both of us for her to lie.) I also think she acts like she likes me, in a way that seems like it would be difficult to fake. But then this issue is somewhat relevant to why I'm in therapy, so we/I have spent a lot of time on it.

[InnerPeace111]

My response to this would be the same as stopdog’s: “How does one know if anyone likes them?” and lolagrace’s: “The same way I know anybody likes me.” Many therapists will avoid answering this question in order to not let it become more about them than the client. This makes sense to me. Personally, I would never ask my T if she likes me or not. It’s one conversation I’d never want to have. That’s just me, though. I can certainly understand how others would want to know.

[junkDNA]

he tells me

[SoConfused623]

I would be really surprised if my T didn't like me. She seems to try really hard to support me with everything that I bring up. When I've reached out to her through email between sessions, she's always been so thoughtful and nice. She also is always smiling at me and we seem to get along really well.

[CharlieStarDust]

I'd like to believe she likes me; all the signs are there. But then again, I have nothing to gauge this against. That's where my struggle comes from. Therapists jobs are to create a safe, comforting environment-so if you only see the warm fuzzy side that provides unconditional positive regard, how can you really tell?

[rainbow8]

My T has told me many times that she likes me.

[runlola72]

I think he does. He says he feels attached to me, as he does to other clients. He's very careful to note that does not mean love. But he did say he liked me. I'm sure he gets exasperated by me though, I have been difficult sometimes.

[BonnieJean]

Mine says - I'm hard not to like. She doesnt come out and say she likes me.

[MessyD]

He told me he does ( I didn't ask ). I have hard time take that kind of stuff in but I have decided I believe that since I have no reason not to. I feel like we click, we can joke around too. I think he is good at what he does but even than I don't think we would be able to work well together for more than 2 years if he didn't like me.