[rainbow8]

On Thanksgiving night, I got excruciating leg cramps and ended up in the ER. I emailed my T and I never heard from her. I think she either didn't see my email ( that happened a few weeks ago) or she was out-of-town for the holiday. I understand, but this is an example of her hurting me. Unintentionally, but hurt nevertheless. She knows I've been depressed and have insomnia lately. I have never been taken by ambulance to an ER before this. I hope T didn't see my email. That's the only logical explanation. Or she's been away and was on break from work, which rarely happens. What do you think?

[All Is Revealed]

I think she hasn't seen your email. She's most likely hasn't worked since Thanksgiving. You'd be surprised how many Ts take off the Friday after Turkey Day, and many take off Cyber Monday, too. *Try* not to get upset if she doesn't respond until Wednesday.

But I hope she responds much sooner.

[unaluna]

An email over a long holiday weekend equals low priority to me? I mean, i just wouldnt expect someone to be sitting down and checking their email over a holiday, and i especially dont think they would be looking there for emergent situations. She gets to clear her head sometime, no?

I guess a question is, who is your emergency contact? I have been to ER or urgent care several times by myself, and also have been single most of my adult life, so i guess i am a little jaded. I pretty much only call my t from the ER if im being admitted and will miss my next appointment.

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by All Is Revealed

I think she hasn't seen your email. She's most likely hasn't worked since Thanksgiving. You'd be surprised how many Ts take off the Friday after Turkey Day, and many take off Cyber Monday, too. *Try* not to get upset if she doesn't respond until Wednesday.

But I hope she responds much sooner.

Thank you. You're probably right, but she sometimes replies on Sundays. I should have asked her last week. I usually don't bother her on holidays but felt like I needed her.
.

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by unaluna

An email over a long holiday weekend equals low priority to me? I mean, i just wouldnt expect someone to be sitting down and checking their email over a holiday, and i especially dont think they would be looking there for emergent situations. She gets to clear her head sometime, no?

I guess a question is, who is your emergency contact? I have been to ER or urgent care several times by myself, and also have been single most of my adult life, so i guess i am a little jaded. I pretty much only call my t from the ER if im being admitted and will miss my next appointment.

T doesn't have a separate work email, or if she does, she once told me she gets about 100 emails a day. So she could miss it! I'm sure she checked her phone and if she saw I was in the ER, she would have sent me at least a short email. She knows how despondent I am right now.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I'm with Unaluna. She's your T. What are you doing calling her for a physical ailment? You're mistaking her for a friend. I can maybe understand talking about it next session, but to call as if it's a mental health crisis? It's unrealistic. I would NEVER call my T for a physical crisis unless it would interrupt therapy. She's not friends or family.

[mostlylurking]

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

I'm with Unaluna. She's your T. What are you doing calling her for a physical ailment? You're mistaking her for a friend. I can maybe understand talking about it next session, but to call as if it's a mental health crisis? It's unrealistic. I would NEVER call my T for a physical crisis unless it would interrupt therapy. She's not friends or family.

I don't know, I think it assumes a lot, to think the email was purely about the physical ailment itself? A person could have medical phobias, a relative who recently passed away after an ambulance trip to the ER, a traumatic experience or loss in the exact same ER, strong/recent fears of one's own mortality, pain which reminded a person of previous pain during a traumatic incident, all manner of things. I don't know rainbow's personal history well at all, but I would not second guess someone's email to their therapist where not much detail has been given, because I assume there might be a lot they haven't shared here. And sometimes we need support at times when we're distraught and we aren't even sure why! Just wanted to chime in and say that.

[ElectricManatee]

I have called my T during/after a scary medical thing. It was totally fine with her and helpful for me. Rainbow, I'm sorry your T left you hanging. I'm guessing that she is still off for the holiday. I hope you feel better physically now, and I hope she gets back to you soon!

[InnerPeace111]

I think Ts are not obligated to respond to non-administrative matters by email or phone.

[precaryous]

Rainbow, I’m sorry your T hasn’t responded to your email. I agree with those who think it’s probably been missed due to the holiday. I hope you’re feeling better.

I have texted/emailed T from the ER and she was very helpful. Perhaps this will be a good discussion for both of you either in email or in session...deciding between the two of you what works best.

Rainbow, I know we are similar in age and health issues might arise for us more often than in the past. It has been true for me. It might be best to figure this out when you’re feeling better and you can talk to her.
What do you think?

[growlycat]

When I had to go to icu for a bad asthma attack I contacted my t so I can understand that. I don’t think it is inappropriate to contact her especially since you are close ( seeing her a long time, been through a great loss with her as witness etc.). Maybe a call would have gotten a response? My last would have seen me in the hospital if he had not been sick at the time. I can see how email could have been missed I’ve also had ya have email go into black hole of sorts as well. Talk to your t next time you meet and see what she says.

[velcro003]

Hey Rainbow--hope you are feeling better? What was the cause of the cramps?

I am guessing your T was just busy during the holiday, and not that she is ignoring an email saying you were at the hospital.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by ElectricManatee

I have called my T during/after a scary medical thing. It was totally fine with her and helpful for me. Rainbow, I'm sorry your T left you hanging. I'm guessing that she is still off for the holiday. I hope you feel better physically now, and I hope she gets back to you soon!

Same here...contacted MC when I was freaking out about pelvic ultrasound results (fears of ovarian cancer) when ex-T was out of town. He didn't get back to me that day, but called the next day to see how I was doing, but at that point, I'd already called them and gotten negative (no issues) results.

[LonesomeTonight]

And hope you're feeling better now, Rainbow...definitely talk about it next session with your T...

[stopdog]

I had the second therapist express surprise and dismay when I did not contact her after being in a somewhat serious motorcycle accident. I was more like "what could you have done about it" but still - she seemed to expect to be contacted.
So I do think that contacting those people for such things is not an unusual thing to do for those that would find the therapist useful.

[ruh roh]

Hi Rainbow. I'm sure she hasn't seen your email, based on how responsive she has been to you on other things. And I echo what others have said about the okayness of contacting a therapist when in the ER or other medical issues that bring up a lot of fear and emotions. Mine has been very helpful during those times.

What did you learn at the ER?

[AllHeart]

Good grief—some of the double standard judgments here! A trip to the ER is mentally distressing for many people. I think it natural to email your t in such a situation. It’s scary stuff. I’m sorry your t didn’t respond. I’m certain there is a logical explaination. I hope you are feeling better!

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

I'm with Unaluna. She's your T. What are you doing calling her for a physical ailment? You're mistaking her for a friend. I can maybe understand talking about it next session, but to call as if it's a mental health crisis? It's unrealistic. I would NEVER call my T for a physical crisis unless it would interrupt therapy. She's not friends or family.

My T believes very strongly in mind/body connections. She is very interested in my physical ailments. She thinks they are partly caused by my anxiety and stress. What happened is terribly stressful to me too. It works both ways.

I know my T isn't my friend but I definitely think of her almost like family. We've been through a lot together! I know she will think it's totally all right that I emailed her. I bet she will email back tomorrow unless my email disappeared.

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by mostlylurking

I don't know, I think it assumes a lot, to think the email was purely about the physical ailment itself? A person could have medical phobias, a relative who recently passed away after an ambulance trip to the ER, a traumatic experience or loss in the exact same ER, strong/recent fears of one's own mortality, pain which reminded a person of previous pain during a traumatic incident, all manner of things. I don't know rainbow's personal history well at all, but I would not second guess someone's email to their therapist where not much detail has been given, because I assume there might be a lot they haven't shared here. And sometimes we need support at times when we're distraught and we aren't even sure why! Just wanted to chime in and say that.

Thank you! I've had a lot of medical issues as well as disappointments recently. Now I am afraid of getting these terrible pains again. I'm afraid to go to sleep and I wasn't getting enough sleep before this happened so this is a big deal for me. I need my T to help me. I need my primary care doctor too. I can't cope with everything going on, especially physical pain.

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by ElectricManatee

I have called my T during/after a scary medical thing. It was totally fine with her and helpful for me. Rainbow, I'm sorry your T left you hanging. I'm guessing that she is still off for the holiday. I hope you feel better physically now, and I hope she gets back to you soon!

Thank you. I think my T just didn't see my email as that happened a few weeks ago and then she emailed me on Monday. I don't ache all over but I'm petrified of it happening again. The pain was unbearable!! It was in both thighs and I couldn't even move. Fortunately I had my cell phone in my hand. I was screaming so loud!

Originally Posted by InnerPeace111

I think Ts are not obligated to respond to non-administrative matters by email or phone.

No, they aren't obligated to but my T does. I know she will say she's sorry unless something is wrong. I always have that fear too.

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by precaryous

Rainbow, I’m sorry your T hasn’t responded to your email. I agree with those who think it’s probably been missed due to the holiday. I hope you’re feeling better.

I have texted/emailed T from the ER and she was very helpful. Perhaps this will be a good discussion for both of you either in email or in session...deciding between the two of you what works best.

Rainbow, I know we are similar in age and health issues might arise for us more often than in the past. It has been true for me. It might be best to figure this out when you’re feeling better and you can talk to her.
What do you think?

Thanks! I hate growing older and having more health issues! That's partly why I'm getting depressed. My T usually answers my emails so I assume she didn't see it. As far as feeling better, I do, but as I lie here in bed I'm afraid to sleep for fear of those cramps. They aren't the kind you can walk off.

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by growlycat

When I had to go to icu for a bad asthma attack I contacted my t so I can understand that. I don’t think it is inappropriate to contact her especially since you are close ( seeing her a long time, been through a great loss with her as witness etc.). Maybe a call would have gotten a response? My last would have seen me in the hospital if he had not been sick at the time. I can see how email could have been missed I’ve also had ya have email go into black hole of sorts as well. Talk to your t next time you meet and see what she says.

Thanks, growly. I decided I dislike talking to T on the phone. I even told her that. Besides, it was about 10:30 p.m. on Thanksgiving. I didn't want to bother her. I thought I'd hear from her on Friday.

Originally Posted by velcro003

Hey Rainbow--hope you are feeling better? What was the cause of the cramps?

I am guessing your T was just busy during the holiday, and not that she is ignoring an email saying you were at the hospital.

I agree. Well, the doctor said it was probably dehydration. I usually drink a lot of water but maybe I didn't, or the turkey was salty. One of my test results showed a high level of something that means acute muscle injury. It's usually from dehydration so I'm trying to drink a lot of water, which is of course making me pee all the time! I'm going to call my regular doctor to see what she thinks.

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Same here...contacted MC when I was freaking out about pelvic ultrasound results (fears of ovarian cancer) when ex-T was out of town. He didn't get back to me that day, but called the next day to see how I was doing, but at that point, I'd already called them and gotten negative (no issues) results.

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

And hope you're feeling better now, Rainbow...definitely talk about it next session with your T...

Thanks, LT. I will definitely talk about it with my T. I see her Wednesday.

Originally Posted by stopdog

I had the second therapist express surprise and dismay when I did not contact her after being in a somewhat serious motorcycle accident. I was more like "what could you have done about it" but still - she seemed to expect to be contacted.
So I do think that contacting those people for such things is not an unusual thing to do for those that would find the therapist useful.

Thank you, stopdog. Yes, I would have found it useful just to read that she cares.

Originally Posted by ruh roh

Hi Rainbow. I'm sure she hasn't seen your email, based on how responsive she has been to you on other things. And I echo what others have said about the okayness of contacting a therapist when in the ER or other medical issues that bring up a lot of fear and emotions. Mine has been very helpful during those times.

What did you learn at the ER?

Thanks. I think it was okay to contact my T because I was scared. I answered above about being dehydrated. I
also think I did too much physical activity that day.

Originally Posted by AllHeart

Good grief—some of the double standard judgments here! A trip to the ER is mentally distressing for many people. I think it natural to email your t in such a situation. It’s scary stuff. I’m sorry your t didn’t respond. I’m certain there is a logical explaination. I hope you are feeling better!

Thank you, AllHeart.

[Lemoncake]

I would email my therapist too if I was in ER and if I felt like I needed to. I'm sorry she wasn't able to respond.

I hope your feeling better Rainbow.

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

I would email my therapist too if I was in ER and if I felt like I needed to. I'm sorry she wasn't able to respond.

I hope your feeling better Rainbow.

Thank you. My legs still feel sore and I have a headache but at least the cramps haven't returned. My T didn't respond today so far. She must have missed seeing my email.

[rainbow8]

I know T will tell me to email again if she doesn't respond, but it's a little annoying that this happened twice. Do your T's have separate work email accounts? I don't know why my T doesn't. I'm going to tell her in person tomorrow. No use bothering her now.