Jealously with other clients

Hi All,

I don’t often think about my Ts other clients or get jealous. This week however, I had a somewhat difficult session. I felt like I really needed comforting by T but was too anxious to express that. Anyway the session went okay and she was kind as always. Our session rapped up and as I was making payment. T came out to greet her next client, I heard her say “come in my dear it’s nice to see you”. I felt a pang of jealously. T often calls me “my dear” as well. Now I’m under no illusion that our relationship is special but it hurt a little to witness her with someone else. Especially the “it’s nice to see you” she rarely says that to me... made me doubt our connection and left me feeling sad. I want to let it go but it’s lingering on my mind

I totally get that

I would tell her how you feel.

What I don't really understand is why she would greet another person while you're still there?

I would feel jealous too
Sometimes I feel like I need some comforting words... Sometimes I want to hug him or just to touch his shoulder, but I'm not brave enough to tell him.

So if I leaved after a difficult session and heard him saying some nice words to his next client, I would be hurt. Not because I think he has to take care of me or anything... But because it would remind me that he likes other clients more than me, that I'm not special and so on. And because "This client's hour just started while I have to wait two more weeks till I see T again "

I think you should tell her I'm sure she's always glad to see you

I was at the front counter with the receptionist, which is also the waiting area. She always uses a full hour so goes back to back. She often greets the next person.

I really want to, but feel a little petty and pathetic. Our next session is also three weeks away so I am hoping I’ll be over it by then!

Oh, okay sorry I didn't understand, but I understand your feelings about hearing her say this.

I think I would tell her how you feel. I see one of my T's other clients often and notice how we have different relationships with different people - but maybe they're all special in a unique way. It's OK to feel the feelings.

I've freely admitted jealously feelings to my T of no only other clients but also co workers.

I totally understand the petty and pathetic part. I often feel that my feelings regarding my therapist are petty and pathetic. It's still better to talk about it, but I also understand not being able to. I have the same problem...

This may be off track - but I pay before sessions so I don't need to see her again after I walk out of her room. It would be awkward otherwise.

I always assume she must like and relate more to her other clients, and they probably got a lot more issues than me and my small stuff. Maybe it's lack of self belief and also a touch of jealousy.

I'm more jealous of my T's coworkers, friends, and family members.
For the clients - sometimes I feel jealous (when I think they are somehow "better" than me/more interesting) but sometimes I feel understanding and connection (even if I see them only for a few seconds) because I feel that we are in this **** together :P and we share the important person (it's when I think that they are probably boring clients).

I think I would feel the same way. A little jealous, a little sad. I agree that you should talk to your T about the jealous feelings, though, whether or not you include what she said to her next client that hurt your feelings. Take what i have to say with a grain of salt. I tend to guard my feelings, especially in a case where it could safe face (or not, which isn't necessarily a good thing). I don't know that I would tell her about what she said, specifically, so she wouldn't have to feel guarded, herself, around me. But I would consider bringing up the feelings of jealousy. That could be something to work on.