[goatee]

I'm having a dilemma. My T made a financial mistake very much in my favor. I want to tell her because it's just not right not to and because she works so hard for me. She deserves it. But I'm finding that I'm really tempted not to tell her because paying for her is such a financial struggle for me just on a practical level. This would be such a gift. I guess it's making me realize that I really have to tell her but also change something about the financial set up, but she's not willing to go less on the fees with me. And I really need the level of support she's been giving me. I guess there's no answer to this dilemma but just finding myself very upset about it and wondering if anybody has any advice. Is it awful of me that I'm really tempted not to tell her except for the fact that I think she might figure it out and then I would lose her trust in me.

[WarmFuzzySocks]

Not awful. Of course it's tempting!

If you decide to tell her, and it sounds like you mostly think you will say something, what you've written here is very clear, and might open a conversation about how difficult it is to pay for therapy. Maybe she's got a sliding fee scale and could adjust your fees.

[guilloche]

It's not awful at all. I'm sorry that your T seems to be inflexible on the price, while you need a level of support that's hard to manage financially. That really, truly sucks (one of my issues with my last T is that his price is so insanely high - to the point that he chided me once about not having Netflix, telling me, "It's only $8!" - I had to remind him that I was budgeting down to the "per meal" cost of my groceries to be able to pay his fees, so no, I didn't want to blow $8/m on Netflix. Sigh.)

I think this is one of those things that is so individual, it's hard to give advice. I'd probably let T know, but that's because I know how my brain works - and I'd be tortured by a guilty conscience. It's the type of thing that has always bugged me, so I'd rather just come clean with T, especially since that was money that I had planned to spend with her and that is rightfully hers.

But, I'm not in a place (today, with a different therapist) where the cost of therapy is a serious hardship. I can imagine that it might be easy to overlook in that case.

On the other hand... assuming your T actually keeps her finances in order, it seems like she'd figure it out sooner or later, right?

On yet another hand... if it's an error she made, in a perfect world she'd assume at least partial responsibility (i.e. maybe give you a discount, split the cost of the mistake, etc.) That would be a kind thing for her to do, assuming this is something that she screwed up.

I'm sorry - this is probably not helpful. I guess it's just a couple different ways to look at. No judgment here, no matter what you decide. Good luck!

[AllHeart]

It really isn't a gift you've been given. Mistakes happen. Can you live with yourself knowing you took this financial benefit from someone who has worked so hard for you because of an honest mistake? I know struggling financially sucks majorly. But you did agree to the terms of service. Sometimes the fall out from doing the wrong thing just isn't worth it. Good luck with your decision.