[BlueJeans00]

I had a horrible experience at thearpy today. My therapist is leaving and he told me next session is last. I was unaware of this.
He also told me that, if say someone had a year of thearpy with a therapist it should be a one month transsession. I brought this up with him but he say yeah we did and we were trying to organise it waiting for psycharaist to get back from hoilday.
I had no impression this was a transession. Or had another thearpist with my theaprist to transession it.

I also gave a letter to my keyworker to give to my thearpist to read about the experience I was unhappy with . But he never went through it with me.

I feel terrible torn as if he was my boyfriend and broke up with me. Which is werid because none thing happened.
I was so upset I self harm myself and drove home crying snd crying at home.

He told me that to a therpaist its like letting a go a child and you always wondered what happened to them.
Did they get married have kids? He explained its like when you are at school and one student just leaves school and you wonder where they went and you never hear from them.
But you always wondered about them. He told me you never forget your first clients.

But then there is this that what happened at therapy.
I thought he lied to me knowing that he and his keyworker knew about this different theaprist will takeover but it be DBT not psychotherapy.
He said they didnt say anything because they need to confirm if it was ok with psycharaist. Apparently psycharaist said it was up to me and my theaprist said I have power to chose to go with him or DBT theaprist.
Anyway I didnt believe him and he said to me "well (my name) dont believe, thats the end of story "

I said to them I had impression they dont want me to go with them? He said because Im worried if I go to 6 weeks hoildays that it be unsettling for you also the cost. You have free service here where as you have to pay for me.
I been to free service back at 2010 and it ended badly just like this time.

I recalled ages ago my theaprist said he give me a discount but it seems this isnt the case. Cause he said to.me if I pay $100 or something hundern every week that be $4,000 a year. I mentioned goverment covered it. In New Zealand they do that here.
He said half I said but when I saw art theaprist she cut it so I dont have to pay at all because Im on the sick benfiti that again New Zealand's provides for mental illness.

I dont know what to make out of it.
My thearpist said hurtful things in past such as
"You need have to have a funeral for a mum you never had"
He told Im mainpulative by a behaviour I did but said I brought it up first.
I said dont recalled that and he blames it on we miscommcatie eachother.
They told me they wrote on there notes even if it was 7 days a week thearpy it wouldnt be enough for me.

Thats the stuff I mentioned in the letter but he told me we already gone over this. He claims we made postivie porgress. But Im still in the same postion as I was a year and half ago.
No job, unable to confront my partners mother. No friends. Still stuck at home with mum. Still self harm now and then. Still cry.

I've just gotten worse. He told me its normal for patients to get worse 2 ,3 years before getting better? Im thinking is that true? I thought thats a short while not long term.

I dont know what to do. I have no suport after 7th of December because he gone. Plus my keyworker said next theaprist be ready in 5 weeks time.
The thing what am I supposed to do in that time!?
Im left a lone in the dark. Usually I would of thought the theaprist make it so you see client 2weeks and 3 weeks to slowly pull away. But this is like cut! So.blunt.

Do/did you find therapy useful for you at all? Just asking because you tend to post negative things about it here. Have you considered trying something else for support?

[unaluna]

Well, you have access to a computer, so you have access to a lot of resources, of information. Maybe you can prepare for your next year of therapy during this break.

You can start with the BLOGS tab at the top of this screen. There are many articles that you may find apply to your situation.

I did something similar for several years with my current therapist. After a session with him, i would come home and search the internet for ideas we had spoken about. I would find articles or books.

[AllHeart]

One session to process this is very unfair. I’m not the expert but I’ve also never, ever heard of it being normal for clients to get worse for 2-3 years during therapy, unless of course one is stuck with an incompetent therapist.

Hopefully your new therapist will work out better for you. If you need a therapist during the 5-week interim, maybe online therapy would be an option?

[BlueJeans00]

Originally Posted by Xynesthesia

Do/did you find therapy useful for you at all? Just asking because you tend to post negative things about it here. Have you considered trying something else for support?

Nope.
He was a student after all finishing his masters.
Well there is this art therapist I know who really experience prbably should see her.
I just thought is it careless to say to your client oh yeaj by the way our next session is last one..i was really unaware of this. I would of thought a therapist wpuld tell you in advance?

Yes, he sounds rather incompetent in a few ways. If you do want to be in therapy with someone else in the future though, perhaps you could have some time to search more carefully during that break? Just interview a few to get a sense of what is available even if you don't end up working with them?

[guilloche]

Oh gosh. I'm so sorry - of course this is going to be painful! Even if your therapist wasn't particularly helpful, it sounds like you have a bond with him, and one week to grieve and process that isn't enough. It's too sudden. I'm really sorry that you're going through this.

In your last post, you said that you hadn't found therapy with him helpful? Do you think this could be a blessing in disguise? Maybe the new therapist will have more experience, or be a better fit, and actually be able to help?

Would you want to pay to see the old therapist a couple more times, for closure? Do you think that's possible/helpful? Or would it just drag it out and make it more painful?

By the way, I think it's totally fair when you start seeing a new therapist to tell them what happened with this therapist, and that you need some support processing it and grieving. I'm still talking to my "new" therapist about my old one, since part of me misses him, even though it was my choice to leave.

*hugs*

[BlueJeans00]

Originally Posted by guilloche

Oh gosh. I'm so sorry - of course this is going to be painful! Even if your therapist wasn't particularly helpful, it sounds like you have a bond with him, and one week to grieve and process that isn't enough. It's too sudden. I'm really sorry that you're going through this.

In your last post, you said that you hadn't found therapy with him helpful? Do you think this could be a blessing in disguise? Maybe the new therapist will have more experience, or be a better fit, and actually be able to help?

Would you want to pay to see the old therapist a couple more times, for closure? Do you think that's possible/helpful? Or would it just drag it out and make it more painful?

By the way, I think it's totally fair when you start seeing a new therapist to tell them what happened with this therapist, and that you need some support processing it and grieving. I'm still talking to my "new" therapist about my old one, since part of me misses him, even though it was my choice to leave.

*hugs*

Yeah you are right, it isnt enough.
Its like say you had a family member that die and they expect you to grive one week and next week forgot about it. The end.

He told me months a go my theaprist how he would give me dsicoint if I go with him and how I can go with him. Then he told me how his superadvisor agreed me to go with him. Then suddnely my theaprist fliped it.
I told this to my keyworker because my keyworker is connected to public mental health system with my theaprist and psycharaist they work as a team.
My keyworker went super quiet and said its best change of thearpist.

I wont go back to my theaprist again.
It probably like you said drag pain.

I believe it was handle.unprofessional.

[dlantern]

I would get another therapist. I think mainly though you do have to think before you talk unless there is some goal in mind that they can to some degree be on board with. I think that is unprofessional when you have something wrong with you. I wonder what happened to the professionalism a long time ago. Can I remind you to say things thoughtfully because I am human too and can at least take up for myself.

It is brave to share I understand and have been there. I'm glad it got us the proper dx's early on. It further let me know I don't relate well to anxious things like talks people etc. I guess she got mad for my years of unwellness and what happened in life.

[BlueJeans00]

Originally Posted by dlantern

I would get another therapist. I think mainly though you do have to think before you talk unless there is some goal in mind that they can to some degree be on board with. I think that is unprofessional when you have something wrong with you. I wonder what happened to the professionalism a long time ago. Can I remind you to say things thoughtfully because I am human too and can at least take up for myself.

It is brave to share I understand and have been there. I'm glad it got us the proper dx's early on. It further let me know I don't relate well to anxious things like talks people etc. I guess she got mad for my years of unwellness and what happened in life.

Your repsonse makes no sense.
Its as if you speak as if you were there.

"Can I remind you to say things thoughtfully because I am human too and can at least take up for myself. "

I said how I felt that is thoughtful.
One may say an excuse Im human too but then there is taking responsibility what things have done and own up to it.

[guilloche]

You're right. It was very unprofessional - he shouldn't have started making plans for you to go with him (by talking about the discounted fee) before he was sure that it was actually possible for you to go with him. Sometimes therapists do really, really stupid things like this without fully thinking through the consequences... as a *therapist*, you'd think that they would be more attuned to how badly this can go for people. I'm so sorry.

[BlueJeans00]

Originally Posted by guilloche

You're right. It was very unprofessional - he shouldn't have started making plans for you to go with him (by talking about the discounted fee) before he was sure that it was actually possible for you to go with him. Sometimes therapists do really, really stupid things like this without fully thinking through the consequences... as a *therapist*, you'd think that they would be more attuned to how badly this can go for people. I'm so sorry.

Thank you I really appreciated your.comment.
Also because my mental illness is complex I believe it was unwise whoever advice me to go and see a student therpaist with minimal experience.