Therapist's Trick or Paranoia?

I have two more weeks of a weekly session with my T. I will then go to every other week. Of course, this is stressing me a little. I am basically doing this because I think that he thinks that I am ready. I also think that I maybe don't need to see him every week, but I WANT TO!

Anyway, my T knows that I am going to every other week because I think he wants me to do this. He denies this and says that I can schedule as often as I need, but I don't believe him. I am able to fathom doing this because he is not pushing me nor has he said that he thinks I need to come less often.

For the last few sessions, he has had the timer ring when it has been time for me to go. He hasn't used this in ages. However, when the timer rings, he just sits there and keeps talking and lets me keep talking for about 10 more minutes or so. Do you think he is doing this to give me the sense of control and the sense that he is not trying to get rid of me? I was just wondering what y'all think. He's quite a trip and has been known to do things like this.

Is there anything that your T's do that you think they are doing for a reason but you aren't sure?

I think you have to ask your T what he is doing and why? I wouldn't second guess him. If he says you can come as often as you want to and you want to still come every week, I would do that. I don't think I would do something for myself (therapy) in a way that was for someone else! (therapist).

The timer would distract me. Are you sure it is not just to remind him when there's only a few/10 minutes left of the session so you both can wind down?

I don't think good therapists use "tricks" but are direct in what they want, what rules they have, how often you "should" come, etc. If you have just "decided" you think he wants you to come less often, I would talk about that with him, why you have decided that and not go to less often if you don't want to and he doesn't suggest you do so.

Well, I think all T's use interventions therapeutically, like saying things intended to bring out an aspect of our personality or emotion such as anger. I have definitely wondered from time to time about things T has said.

But, the alarm clock? I would flat out say to T, "what the hell is that?" LOL

I'm unclear about the "I know that he knows that I know" thing that's going on between you. Can't you just bring it to light? Why carry on in the dark?

I would definitely ask T if I was wondering.

OOO I don't like the idea of a "trick" and would rather you think of it as a tool. Therapeutic tool.

If you want to be sure it's your choice, tell him you want to wait a bit longer before cutting back. Simple. Done.

(((hugs)))

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Could you be lacking in trust if you think he is pulling a "trick" on you? It sounds like it would help if you guys talked this out more. I think you should be the one to decide if you are ready to go every other week or not. If you do go every other week, is there the option to go back to weekly if you need to? I went to every other week for a while but am back at weekly now, since I currently need more support.

The timer ringing would drive me nuts! Especially if he suddenly out of the blue started using it one day. I would definitely ask why. And if it was annoying or disturbing, I would ask him to not use it with me, if possible.

I would throw the timer at T. lol

Seriously you should straight out ask him, "What the hell is with the timer?" What do you think has kept you from asking so far?

I hope I am not being obnoxious (I'm not trying to be) when I say that by the sound of your post, it almost sounded as though you were reducing your sessions more for your T than for yourself. Have you spoken with him completely on this subject? I think the idea of having control would be for you to say what you really think-- and don't ever let him think you are ready for something if you are not. I'm not saying you aren't ready-- only you would know that. I just hope that the two of you explored it.

Yes, I think that therapeutic intervention would be a better word. I trust my T. This is just something that I started thinking about after last session last Wednesday. You know, one of those things that you wish you asked during session but didn't and now you have to wait until next week.

I do plan on asking him about the timer next session next Wednesday. I like the idea of throwing it at him! LOL Sometimes I go into his office while he is still dealing with paperwork in the front office for a few seconds. Maybe I'll try to set it longer and see if he notices He has a great sense of humor and would probably get a kick out of it.

No, you're not being obnoxious at all. I appreciate everyone's comments! I'm having conflicting feelings about going every other week. I really don't want to, but I don't think that I will ever want to. I think that I might be okay trying it, but I'm not sure. I have no idea if I am ready or not. He told me that we would decide when it was time. We haven't had much of a chance to talk about it though. I'm so confused. I want to see him every week forever.

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. I want to see him every week

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So then why are you cutting back? Particularly if you were supposed to discuss it but haven't yet.

I'd see him every week. YOu sound like you have a need still to do so, so do so.

I don't think you should cut back just because he thinks you may be ready, YOU have to be ready. If you want to see him every week, you should!

The timer thing sounds really annoying. Be honest with him about it...

my social worker used an alarm clock, except shed set it to hte tune of psycho. got a raised eyebrow from me. apparently it was hte tune she used at home.

hey ho

You know,

I've been thinking about this cutting back thing.

Does it feel like you "should" cut back? I think I get that. I have been seeing T twice a week for about six weeks and now there's a part of me that thinks, "OK, now you should cut back because you're getting too used to this." I'm not sure who that voice is but I would bet it has something to do with my mother.

I'm not cutting back till I'm damn ready to. About the year 2020. Or right after I hurl a tomato at him.