[Thalassophile]

Is anyone here planning on giving their T a card for the holidays? Not a gift just a simple card wishing them a happy holiday. Or have you given your T a card before? How did they react?

I have been considering giving one to my T who I have been with for 2 years but I am unsure. I know it is a professional relationship and I would only be giving it to him solely with the intention of wanting to express my wish for him to have a happy holiday. Yes, I can say it in person but to me, a card just expresses it that little bit more. I have sometimes given holiday cards to people I am in professional relationships with such as close colleagues etc over the years so I don't find it that odd yet I am questioning myself in this case.

[ElectricManatee]

I am not planning to do it, but I think it's a lovely gesture. The therapy relationship sometimes seems complicated, with all its boundaries and weird conventions, so it makes sense that you might be questioning yourself a bit. I think it is totally fine to give your T a holiday card, though.

[DP_2017]

Saddest thing is all the rules of therapy, it makes you question things that would otherwise seem normal. It's one thing I truly hate about therapy.

that being said.... I am planning to, don't care if he allows it or not, I'm doing it anyway. The ones I give out every year have my and my dog photo on it too...

I've never cared because Christmas is a special time, so cards are ok, I give them to all types of people in my life. Go for it!

[AllHeart]

Originally Posted by DP_2017

Saddest thing is all the rules of therapy, it makes you question things that would otherwise seem normal. It's one thing I truly hate about therapy.

How very true!!

No, I am not giving my t a holiday card. I thought I might but to hell with it. I'm too lazy to give cards to anyone else so I'm not going to make her special by giving her one.

[growlycat]

I will be giving a card and something handmade

[InnerPeace111]

I will not be giving my T a holiday card this year...not ever. I can do without the awkwardness it might create. I will simply wish her a Merry Christmas and a Hapy New Year when I see her in person.

[Marsfx]

Yeah I am, but it’ll be the same I’m giving a few other maybe a few nice words scribbled in. I’m unsure if it’ll be anything more personal. I’d be giving a card to my psych too, she’s at the same office and she’s cool and I like her. Also will be giving it to a few folks I’ve done creative projects on this year but am not personally close with.

[Teddy Bear]

I'm not giving my T a Christmas card but I know she gets them

I've given ex T a Xmas card because it was our last session before she went into maternity leave. This Xmas, I'm flying (terrified of the long flights and transit) long distance, so I asked T if I could bring something back for her to mark the milestone. She asked for a postcard.

I choose not to give gifts/cards. I'm sure T would receive what I give her. But it's to complex for me.

[stopdog]

No. I never had an urge. I paid the woman for her time. That was all I thought was appropriate.

[elisewin]

I will and I alvays have. Before reading topics here it never occured to my mind that there was something strange about it. I just love making cards to people I want to remember/like/give thanks for something etc. My T gladly accepts.

T and I give each other presents. We make a big deal out of holidays and birthdays. We make it a lot of fun. We have fun giving each other gifts.

[DP_2017]

Well I gave him mine last night. Casually left it on the desk and he saw me set it there, I was like, it's just a Christmas card, "oh nice, I'll look at it later"

So I have no idea if he likes it or whatever but I know he didn't freak out at the idea... although mine has my photo and name on it, as mine always so, so because of confidentiality, idk what he will do with it, can't really display it in office or even home if guests come, so he probably will sadly toss it LOL

[Fernwehxx]

I gave my T a thank u card a while ago, and she was moved and all excuted and happy. Thinking bout the holiday card....

[Thalassophile]

Some interesting responses. I can't see how they can ever really refuse a card as such. I mean it has very little monetary value. It's funny how a seemingly normal act in other areas of life somehow becomes much bigger in therapy.

[DP_2017]

Originally Posted by Thalassophile

Some interesting responses. I can't see how they can ever really refuse a card as such. I mean it has very little monetary value. It's funny how a seemingly normal act in other areas of life somehow becomes much bigger in therapy.

yep, very sad. i've never had to edit things so much in my life until i did therapy. too many rules that make me question myself too much

[Fernwehxx]

I actually asked my T about this, and she said, well, its a card and thats totally okay, but if there jad been money in it, I wpuld have handed that back to you.
I think once boundaries and rules turn into unnatural behavior, its gets difficult. A little human spirit should remain. I have had very professional and distanced Ts in the past (different country, too), and I alqays felt like there was are missing. Now I know its the warmth and human touch my current T shows.
I express thanks in a written way, and being able to hand her a card just helps me say what I cant put in words.

I see the issues with presents... But a card?

[smileygal]

I think I'm going to give my T a card as I usually give lots of other people in my life a card. It's really just a way to express my desire for them to have a nice holiday in words as to me sometimes written words can have more meaning than when they are spoken.

My issue is knowing what to write in it. I want to keep it short and sweet and not too sentimental or anything. I'm wondering how to address them and also how to sign it. I don't want to sign my name for confidentiality reasons. What are those of you who are giving a card doing?

[Fernwehxx]

Originally Posted by smileygal

I think I'm going to give my T a card as I usually give lots of other people in my life a card. It's really just a way to express my desire for them to have a nice holiday in words as to me sometimes written words can have more meaning than when they are spoken.

My issue is knowing what to write in it. I want to keep it short and sweet and not too sentimental or anything. I'm wondering how to address them and also how to sign it. I don't want to sign my name for confidentiality reasons. What are those of you who are giving a card doing?

I adrressed mine with her nickname, which she uses all the time on forms or on voicemail. I did sign my name, but no one can read my signature anyway. I have to sign, otherwise id feel weird. I wrote a very short thank you, and in the xmas card, I'll prob just wish her happy holidays and bit get too sentimental, mostly because it'll be a very emotional session and I have some other very sentimental and emotional stuff for her. So, ill keep the card dun and lighter. Oh, btw, the card featurea me and one of my pets, so that much for cobfidentiality. I know she can't really display it, even tho I wouldnt even care if she did at home. I wouldnt deny seeing her if anyone asked me.

[DP_2017]

Originally Posted by Fernwehxx

Oh, btw, the card featurea me and one of my pets, so that much for cobfidentiality. I know she can't really display it, even tho I wouldnt even care if she did at home. I wouldnt deny seeing her if anyone asked me.

I did the same, every year my cards are photo cards with my dogs and I. I never thought about the confidential aspect of it until AFTER and then I felt bad like maybe I should of made a special one with just the dogs. He probably will throw it out since there isn't much he can do with it since I am on it. sigh...

[Taylor27]

I have been giving my therapist and counsellor a Christmas card every year and i plan on doing the same this year. I go to mental health clinic clients are not allowed to give gifts to there therapist. Both my therapist has displayed the cards ive given them.