[pepper_mint]

Do you look at the watch during the session?

I can't imagine not to controlling time.
I guess I'm afraid that I can start saying something important for me and suddenly T will say "Ok, our time is up. See you next week".
It would be really depressing...
When I know how much time we have I know when to start talking and when to stop before T would say that we have to stop.

I wondered how others deal with this.

[stopdog]

I keep track of the time and stand up and leave exactly when the clock hits the ending time. I would never let those people be in charge of ending.

[LesFleursDuMal]

I always wear a watch but I never look at the time during my appointments. I like to think that it's my T's role because then I can speak and just completely forget about time and it's like my sessions are almost out of time, like it's my special moment when I don't have to be in control of everything. It's always my T who decides when a session ends anyway, most of the time they're longer than they're supposed to so I let him be in charge of that.

[Sparkle&hope]

My therapist has relaxed the end of the session so that I am not worried over time. Yes I still check the time frequently to know how long I have roughly but I know I can speak about something and not be kicked out. I also have time to wind down at the end and my therapist knows roughly when to do this for me and to ensure everything all comes together.

I always watch my therapists watch. I have anxiety about talking too deeply close to the end of a session.

my t has a clock facing the couch so i look at it a lot

i hate that clock

!

[smileygal]

I try to look at my watch from time to time to give me an idea of how much time is left. If I see there are only 10 minutes left I try not to get into anything too deep. I would hate to get into something deep for them to say 'time is up' or I leave it up to him though to call the end of the session.

[Fernwehxx]

All the clocks in my ts office face away from the client. I guess its her job since im worried about enough stuff all the time. Sometimes, I glance at it if the sessions stalls for some reason, but I trust her to not kick me out in the middle of sth deep.

[fille_folle]

My longtime T had a little clock that sat across from me. I appreciated it because I'm really bad with time and can't always distinguish between 15 minutes and 45 minutes. It also helped me keep a tab on my level of dissociation. New T doesn't have a clock visible, I don't think. I admit that I keep my eyes fixed on her bookshelf or this watercolor sitting on the floor beside it. I only have a vague impression of the rest of her office. Maybe there is a clock and I just haven't seen it. I need to repair my watch because I don't like not knowing. I wasted tons of time yesterday because I thought it was almost time to leave when it wasn't. I hate waiting for T to say we are out of time, so I guess I was trying to prepare myself and got a bit carried away.

[stopdog]

If there was not a clock visible to the client - I would set my phone and take my watch off and put it on my knee where I could see it.

[ScarletPimpernel]

The clock is behind me, so I depend on my T to watch it. She's really good at winding down and giving me time to calm down if I need it.

[Fernwehxx]

Actually, mine once promised me that shed never send me out with emotions boiling. So I trust her not to do that.

[NP_Complete]

I frequently leave with emotions boiling.

[velcro003]

i know when the session is ending mostly based on how my T winds down the session. she does it in a very predictable, yet kind way to let me know we were about to end. i also have clocks visible to me, but I am too busy staring at a pillow.

[MessyD]

The clock is on a side but turned towards the T. I may look at it once or twice but generally I have a pretty good idea how far in a session we are. He went over time a few times when we were still discussing something important but usually discussion gets lighter towards the end.

[kecanoe]

T1 has two offices, in one there is a clock facing me, in he other, no clock. I don't feel responsible for watching the time in either office. T3 doesn't have a clock anywhere in her office and always runs late. Sometimes she will set an alarm on her phone, but some times we run way over (I'm her last client of the day).

T2 rarely ran over, and exT also rarely went over. They both wore watches.

I've always done it. For me it's not so much control in the sense you've talked about, as much as fear of any form of rejection, even being told it is the end of session feels on some level as rejection, so yes I'm trying to control that

[Elio]

I have an alarm on my watch set to go off 5 mins before the end of my session. This gives me a warning to start wrapping up. If there is a lull in the conversation and we've been talking a while, I might look at my watch to see if there is time to really start a new topic. My T has 2 clocks, neither of them are viewable from where I sit. I do have options to sit in other locations. I used to be able to use her watch but then she switched watches and now it doesn't light up without being touched.

I'm not sure if it is about controlling the time, I'm never sure if control and rejection goes hand in hand or not. I know the very few times she's called time, I feel like I am being kicked out and bad. I prefer to call time.

[feileacan]

I do not control time. There is no clock in my sight, nor do I look at my own clock. Over the years I have developed some internal sense about how time is flowing in the session, so the session end does not come as a surprise to me, although me T has no habit of winding down and thus the ending is still frustrating many times. I don't want to start controlling time though - then I would be even less able to let go and try to find the meaningful things from within me.

[healinginprogress]

There are several clocks within view and I wear a watch. I don't control the time though. I put that fully in my T's hands. She will regularly run over with me, which we have discussed at length.

Excluding my most recent session, I'm usually fully aware of the time though.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

I frequently leave with emotions boiling.

Before I used the woman to sit there and pretend listen to me yammer on about my person and her illness, I almost never left in anything other than frustrated rage.

[NP_Complete]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Before I used the woman to sit there and pretend listen to me yammer on about my person and her illness, I almost never left in anything other than frustrated rage.

For me, going to therapy dredges up so many painful emotions. It's hard to neatly stuff them all back in their box before I leave. My therapist has commented on it before. He once told me that he has trouble letting me leave because I'm so often upset when I leave. He then tried to suggest that we change how we discuss things and drop sensitive topics towards the end so I wouldn't leave like that. But that just upset me because how are you supposed to just stop talking about whatever it is when you're already there in your head and feeling whatever you're feeling. When do you stop? 5 minutes? 10 minutes before the end of session? How are you supposed to accomplish anything if you can't fully utilize your time?

I wear a watch.

(Sort-of-ex-)T and I didn't really have a fixed time length, as in, if I came in at 1 and she had another client, or had to leave, at 2, I'd obviously wouldn't stay until 2:30. But if she didn't have a client at 2, we might talk until 2:30. Often I'd ask at the beginning of the session how long we had; other times I'd ask shortly before 2 whether we had to stop at 2.
I'd keep an eye on the time, sometimes saying stuff like "But time's almost up" or "Don't you have another appointment?" but I wait to leave before she sends me out.

Pdoc is more flexible - we usually talk as long as necessary. (Phone check-ins are usually 10-20 minutes, but I think he schedules half an hour. In-person sessions are scheduled for an hour, but we're often finished around 45 minutes and sometimes we talk for an hour and a half) He rarely mentions the time, sometimes just gently 'works me out the door' (although he is never hurried; I'm not a doorknob confession kind of gal but I think if I were to make one, we'd talk about it for a few minutes even if he was in a hurry. Although we might also talk about it for a minute and then he'd say "But I think this can wait until next session" or "Shall we talk about this some more next session?") and once he mentioned at the beginning of our session that he really had to stop at x because an interpreter was accompanying his next patient. (I think that that time, he mentioned it so clearly because he'd also started the session late - but I might not be remembering that correctly)
Also, my psychiatry/therapy organization has multiple locations, and pdoc is in one and T and family T in another. When we had regular meetings where everyone got together (me, pdoc, T, family T, parents) pdoc would drive over to T and family T's location. It's about a 45 minute drive from one location to the other. Pdoc would often say "I have to leave at x" at the beginning of the appointment and then we'd go over anyway and 15 minutes later he'd say "but I really have to leave now". (I assume he schedules an hour for the drive back, and knows he'll only take 45 minutes, so if traffic isn't a murder he can afford to stay 15 minutes over time)

[Amyjay]

I do try to control time and the ending. I try my best to call time on time and leave straight away. I notice my T sometimes has trouble with that because the last quarter of the session if most often when we are finally able to get into the meaningful work, and T seems to be reluctant for us to leave in a triggered or switched state.
Sometimes I am not present enough to call time. In that case T brings the session to a close, either close to time or a little over time is she is able to.
I try my best to do it myself because I find it really triggering to be told time is up. Strangely I never even thought to set a timer or alarm on my phone.

[guilloche]

For the most part, I don't try to keep track of the time. I have a hard enough time dealing with my therapy-stuff, I don't want to also have to watch a clock. Most of the Ts I've seen seem to be decent at giving some non-verbal cues and steering the conversation a bit when it starts to get towards the end, I think?

My latest T though actually DOES have a clock that I can see! So, while I don't watch it regularly, if I feel like we're far into the session and something pops into my brain that I want to talk about, but that might take some time, I will glance at the clock to see if there's enough time that it's worth getting in to.

It's kind of nice to have that option. I don't think any of my other Ts ever had clocks that I could see, and it never actually bothered me - but now that I have access to a clock, I kind of like it.