Bitter jealousy

Yes yes and yes!!! These are all things that bother me too

gc For what it's worth, I was / am considered the 'wild child' (by culture + crazy conservative family standards) and far from 'good' and yet, yeah, I also seem to be boring.

Did you want to hang out with the stranger? Like him? I've usually found that if I don't have chemistry of a certain sort with someone, it's also in large part because I don't really *want* to be around them (not the idea of them but them in particular)?

Just like others have already said, I can relate to this, and I’m sorry you had to hear your T being friendly with other clients. It makes it hard to remember that they still care about us, too. My T referred me to his co-worker in the same practice for EMDR, as T is not EMDR certified. I once had a session with the EMDR T while my T saw a client in the room next to us. I couldn’t hear what they were saying exactly, but I could hear them laughing and it made me feel awful to think of my T possibly liking this client more than me. And then I felt bad that it bothered me. I couldn’t focus at all that session. I never brought it up to my T, but it probably would have been good to. I hope you can talk to kashi about this and he is understanding of your feelings and helps you sort through them.

I can realate to what you've written.
With current T there isn't a lot of jealousy. But when I see her with another client (glad this doesn't happen a lot) I doubt our ''relationship''. Then it all just feels fake. Like she's like that with all her clients. I'm nothing special. I'm just one of many.

With PrevT (who I sometimes see for sessions) there's a lot of jealousy. A LOT. Especially about other clients. Other clients get to see her every week. I feel like...I don't know. There has happen some things. It made me doubt her, our ''relationship''. It was so good, but now I don't even trust her anymore. I HATE her other clients.
I don't want to be friends with her. I want to be her most important client. I've been with her for so many years, but still I'm just nothing. I know almost nothing about her, while I know so much about current T. I hate that her life is so good and amazing and my life still suck and will always sucks. And the last 2 years have been really hard on me and that has partly to do with her. She could have helped me if sshe would just have been honest.
Ugh. I hate therapists. I don't have good experiences with them. I should just quit therapy forever. It would be better.

Sorry for my rant here and that I can't be of any sort of help.

I have never seen other clients but I do know and tell myself often that I'm in no means special, because I think if I started thinking along those lines I could do myself more harm than good, but I know If I let myself think too much I would get jealous, I think it's just because of the fact that when I'm in the session she is amazingly nice and kind I wish I had more of that, her or at least someone like her in my life, so if I was to think of the fact that others do have someone like her in their life's it is a sense of jealousy I feel! I wish I was that lucky sometimes.