[Tbhimscared]

I need to talk to my T about my attempt I had around a year ago but I don’t know how she’ll react or how things might go, what she might ask me and how to approach it. I’ve been completely silent about it in therapy so far (3 months now) so I don’t know how to bring it up. Any of you want to share your experience/ thoughts on what might happen? I’m nervous that she will react badly

[zoiecat]

My therapist asked and knew about my previous attempts on day one. I wasn't really any big deal of course they asked if I was feeling that way currently which at the time I wasn't. I had other time since where I have been and we discussed it therapist didn't act badly. I would not be afraid to say anything they're going to be curious and ask questions that's only so that they can help you going forward.

[toomanycats]

My T did ask questions about what exactly I did - in more detail than I was comfortable sharing. He did not force me to answer them, though. I said I didn't want to share certain things, and I didn't, and it was ok.

[Tbhimscared]

Originally Posted by zoiecat

My therapist asked and knew about my previous attempts on day one. I wasn't really any big deal of course they asked if I was feeling that way currently which at the time I wasn't. I had other time since where I have been and we discussed it therapist didn't act badly. I would not be afraid to say anything they're going to be curious and ask questions that's only so that they can help you going forward.

I’m afraid that she might think things are more serious now than they actually are and that she would do something or tell someone

[Tbhimscared]

Originally Posted by toomanycats

My T did ask questions about what exactly I did - in more detail than I was comfortable sharing. He did not force me to answer them, though. I said I didn't want to share certain things, and I didn't, and it was ok.

How detailed were his questions? I’m scared that once she would start asking I’ll just break down and not get anywhere with it

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by Tbhimscared

I’m afraid that she might think things are more serious now than they actually are and that she would do something or tell someone

From the ones I've asked (and from what I've seen on here), they'd only do that if you were actively suicidal and indicated that you had a plan. In other words, if it seemed you were in imminent danger. For example, a few months ago, I told my marriage counselor that I'd had fleeting thoughts for a few hours the week before, but was no longer feeling them then. And he looked a bit concerned, but didn't do anything about it or ask me about it later. And he and my current T both know about my attempt back in college (but that was 20 years ago).

If you're concerned, you could always ask hypothetical questions to start, asking what would lead your T to break confidentiality or commit a client. Or you could say that you want to tell her about something that happened in the past, but you're afraid of how she'll react. And reassure her you're not feeling that way now (assuming you're not).

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

This is not exactly the same thing as you were asking, but maybe it still helps.

I saw my T one day after an attempt last year. I had only been seeing him for about three months, I had told him the sessions going up to it that I had pretty detailed plans of what to do. I even told him what they were.

He was concerned beforehand, and told me to give him a call when things get bad. But, since he didn't work the day they got bad, and I didn't want to talk to anyone else, I ended up not calling him, and attempted.

Somehow I managed to convince the first responders that I didn't need to be admitted... one of them called my T and left a message. I got told to get an appointment with him the next day.

He called the next day and was very worried to say the least (he even called again a bit later, just to make sure I was really okay with waiting for the few hours before seeing him).

The actual appointment went really well. He was a bit emotional about the whole thing (obviously), but he didn't show it a whole lot. He asked questions. He made sure I was safe until we'd see again two days later. We talked about what I did, but if I said I didn't want to talk about an aspect, he'd drop it.

I think whether or not they think things are serious, whether they call someone and so on, depends a lot on the T. In this appointment, my T asked me whether I wanted to be admitted. I said no. And that was that, no more discussion about it. I've had suicidal thoughts on and off during the whole year. He'll always ask about them, ask how detailed, what I'm thinking and so on. But he would never just call anyone, because if he did and I didn't say okay beforehand, I think he knows I'd never talk to him again.

I think a good way to start would be as LonesomeTonight said, tell her how you feel right now, but you still want to talk about something that happened that might make her worried. If you are not feeling like this right now, I think she will be able to distinguish between the two.

[malika138]

My T has known about my attempt from the beginning but since it happened 7 years before I started seeing her, she doesn't seem to focus on it.

I don't think your T will over-react. I agree with others that once she establishes that you are now safe she will help you process what happened and why. I suspect most Ts have had a client with a past attempt. And remember that you can always "pass" on answering a question that seems like too much to answer in the given moment.

I encourage you to tell her. It is an important part of your story and your Ts role is to help you understand your story, your triggers, and to help you develop skills and strategies for the future.

Do you feel there is a need to bring it up? For me, I would be asking myself what kind of response am I hoping for when I tell her my truth and to be aware of my own thought or feelings as I tell her because that could be material to work with down the road.

[Tbhimscared]

Originally Posted by ChickenNoodleSoup

This is not exactly the same thing as you were asking, but maybe it still helps.

I saw my T one day after an attempt last year. I had only been seeing him for about three months, I had told him the sessions going up to it that I had pretty detailed plans of what to do. I even told him what they were.

He was concerned beforehand, and told me to give him a call when things get bad. But, since he didn't work the day they got bad, and I didn't want to talk to anyone else, I ended up not calling him, and attempted.

Somehow I managed to convince the first responders that I didn't need to be admitted... one of them called my T and left a message. I got told to get an appointment with him the next day.

He called the next day and was very worried to say the least (he even called again a bit later, just to make sure I was really okay with waiting for the few hours before seeing him).

The actual appointment went really well. He was a bit emotional about the whole thing (obviously), but he didn't show it a whole lot. He asked questions. He made sure I was safe until we'd see again two days later. We talked about what I did, but if I said I didn't want to talk about an aspect, he'd drop it.

I think whether or not they think things are serious, whether they call someone and so on, depends a lot on the T. In this appointment, my T asked me whether I wanted to be admitted. I said no. And that was that, no more discussion about it. I've had suicidal thoughts on and off during the whole year. He'll always ask about them, ask how detailed, what I'm thinking and so on. But he would never just call anyone, because if he did and I didn't say okay beforehand, I think he knows I'd never talk to him again.

I think a good way to start would be as LonesomeTonight said, tell her how you feel right now, but you still want to talk about something that happened that might make her worried. If you are not feeling like this right now, I think she will be able to distinguish between the two.

That's a good point. I want to tell her because I think it will reveal a lot about me and show that I've actually had some serious issues than just the issues I bring to a regular session. I usually brush over anything serious so my T is probably wondering what the real issues could be. We've talked about how she knows when I'm lying or not being completely honest so she must know I'm not telling the whole story when I'm there

[Tbhimscared]

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

From the ones I've asked (and from what I've seen on here), they'd only do that if you were actively suicidal and indicated that you had a plan. In other words, if it seemed you were in imminent danger. For example, a few months ago, I told my marriage counselor that I'd had fleeting thoughts for a few hours the week before, but was no longer feeling them then. And he looked a bit concerned, but didn't do anything about it or ask me about it later. And he and my current T both know about my attempt back in college (but that was 20 years ago).

If you're concerned, you could always ask hypothetical questions to start, asking what would lead your T to break confidentiality or commit a client. Or you could say that you want to tell her about something that happened in the past, but you're afraid of how she'll react. And reassure her you're not feeling that way now (assuming you're not).

I think I probably will start with a hypothetical and one thing I like about my t is that she can see right through my lies and will call me out on it. We've laughed about making me uncomfortable and that it is one of things she likes about her job (in a non-sadistic way, I told her at the beginning that I will avoid things and that she should make me uncomfortable if I'm ever going to open up). So she will definitely see where the questions are coming from and ask me about it and hopefully that will lead to me telling her about my attempt.

[NP_Complete]

I've been suicidal most of this year. My therapist knows about it. He knows what my plan is, when I formulated it, and that I have what I need to actually do it. And he hasn't tried to hospitalize me. He mentioned it once, but that was the only time he's brought it up. I'm not sure why he thinks I'm safe, but I guess he does.

I'm sure the reaction will depend on your individual therapist and your relationship with her. You could always write it down and give it to her if that would be easier.

[toomanycats]

Originally Posted by Tbhimscared

How detailed were his questions? I’m scared that once she would start asking I’ll just break down and not get anywhere with it

He asks pretty blunt, detailed questions, but I don't think every T would do that.

Like "What with? How seriously? Where? What stopped you?" (What stopped you for me bc I attempted but bailed mid-attempt)

[Tbhimscared]

Originally Posted by toomanycats

He asks pretty blunt, detailed questions, but I don't think every T would do that.

Like "What with? How seriously? Where? What stopped you?" (What stopped you for me bc I attempted but bailed mid-attempt)

I did the same thing! I bailed mid attempt but I think it’s still something that should be brought up to her anyway. I think my T has been pretty blunt so far so I think she would be similar

[toomanycats]

Originally Posted by Tbhimscared

I did the same thing! I bailed mid attempt but I think it’s still something that should be brought up to her anyway. I think my T has been pretty blunt so far so I think she would be similar

I think it's a good thing to talk about. I understand how difficult it is, but it is really important anyways.