todays session

I was saying how i didnt like being challenged by hte staff in my community tteam. And i was saying how id asked my pdoc why the staff got so annoyed with me and hed said 'well you ask a lot of questions but thats not an altogether bad thing'
Then i went on saying to tdoc how id never thought quetions were a bad thing, why would they even think it was bad thing.

Then tdoc reflected back to me that I asked him a lot of questions.

Conversation went like this

tdoc: 'you DO ask a lot of questions'
me: 'I guess so, especially about medication'
tdoc: you ask a lot of questions here with me
me: ' Do I?'
tdoc: yes, today you asked me.... and .....It challenges me;'
me: (rapidly dismiss the questions id asked) Oh that was only because......

and i was complaining hte professionals were defenisve!!!!!

now i feel embarrassed]
1) because Ive shown im not perfect - by eing defensive (liek he didnt alrady know this)
2) Its even worse cos id just been busy slagging off the psych staff for being defensive

Plus,m
i still dont knkow why people find questions 'challenges' they are jsut requests for information. they are not done to cast doubt on what other is saying

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toffeellen said:

now i feel embarrassed]
1) because Ive shown im not perfect - by eing defensive (liek he didnt alrady know this)

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Oh no! You have revealed that you are human in therapy!!! hehehe, it's ok... I went through that as well... I wanted to be "perfect"... trust me, they know we're not.... why would someone "perfect" come for therapy??

And consider what you went through as something very, very cool-- you experienced one of your patterns while in session-- and you were able to recognize it as something you do outside of session. That is some serious insight. You sound like you are doing a great job.

a lot of the time it isn't that people ask questions, it can be the tone of voice/how you are asking them. If someone is always sounding antagonistic or argumentative people get really annoyed at that.
I'm not saying that you are doing this, it sounds like you aren't but is there any chance that your questions could be interpreted like that?

Hmmm, toffeellen, that's an interesting exchange. Some people like to be challenged by questions. It's a good thing to them. Other people can be threatened by questions. I think this often happens in the medical profession where a certain type of practitioner thinks very highly of themselves and their extensive training, and the lowly patient shouldn't question their expertise. You know the type? But good doctors welcome questions from patients. I'm not sure if there is some of that going on here or not. I think it is an interesting topic worth further exploration.

Might it be you don't let others rest between questions or don't acknowledge/appreciate their answers enough? I know my stepmother use to pepper me with questions and I never knew what they were "for"; in her case she was trying to "trap" me or lead me into thinking things her way.

My T had a lot to teach me because I didn't acknowledge what others said to me. I just went on to the next thing from my head. You may be doing that, not "receiving" their answers and acknowledging the answer and the person who answered it, etc.

I know I have a problem still, talking to my doctors; they'll tell me something and if I don't "like" it or it doesn't agree with what I think I know I argue or present other information without sitting with the information they have given me and working with it. It is like I discredit their information, education, knowledge and experience sometimes.

I think Ts should like us asking questions. Maybe you should express why you are asking them first. If your T still doesnt like it,.. maybe its not the right T.

ever read peoples replies and need to go and think about them?

thanks for replying. need to process answers. i do that thing you say about automatically presenting other information befor taking on board theirs

I also said to him, after he told me it challenged him

id be interested to know if you think that is good or bad?'

he said, after a pause, 'good' and at end of session after id stood up he said it was good too.

realise i did put him in either or situation though where there wasnt room to talk about how i asked questions making a difference.

feel weird obsessing over every sentence. ill probably sed all week thinking about it and he wouldnt even remember!