Is it really necessary to break a patient's heart?

Fuzzybear · Jun 11, 2018, 03:19 PM

Maybe I “just” wasn’t the right patient to feed them

CantExplain · Jun 11, 2018, 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I wouldn’t think it would be necessary, but some of them do it anyway

It left me hating myself more... I was so “damaged” but he was perfect.

((FuzzyBear))

here today · Jun 12, 2018, 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I wouldn’t think it would be necessary, but some of them do it anyway

It left me hating myself more... I was so “damaged” but he was perfect.

The therapist clearly was NOT perfect. He may have thought he was, but clearly, logically he was NOT. No way the "therapy" could have been so disastrous for you if he was. Of course that's just logic and doesn't help a lot with the feelings, at least it doesn't with mine.

So, here's the challenge -- how does one get over a broken heart? There have been stories about broken hearts throughout human history.

I'm still not over mine -- either the original one or the repeat from therapy.

Jun 12, 2018, 05:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pepper_mint

I just found many of snopdog's posts full of anger towards the therapists.

While highly opinionated (and often very funny), I have never found any of stopdog's posts to be angry towards anyone, including therapists.

HowDoYouFeelMeow? · Jun 12, 2018, 09:29 PM

I don't think the distribution of good vs. bad therapists in the population is equal to the distribution of good vs. bad therapists that get sued. Of course you'll encounter more bad ones if it's your job to sue them.

HowDoYouFeelMeow? · Jun 12, 2018, 09:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ByStarlight

While highly opinionated (and often very funny), I have never found any of stopdog's posts to be angry towards anyone, including therapists.

Although I welcome SD's views, I have personally interpreted some posts that speak of the two women as somewhat dehumanizing. But of course my interpretation is my issue.

velcro003 · Jun 12, 2018, 09:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HowDoYouFeelMeow?

Of course you'll encounter more bad ones if it's your job to sue them.

I have always thought this as well. Of course it would be biasing to see the other end of T's mistakes/abuses all the time.

I still like SD's opinions in the forum, though.

Favorite Jeans · Jun 12, 2018, 10:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HowDoYouFeelMeow?

Although I welcome SD's views, I have personally interpreted some posts that speak of the two women as somewhat dehumanizing. But of course my interpretation is my issue.

I assume SD is giggling as she posts half the time. Maybe I'm wrong? Whatever the actual story, I prefer whenever possible to think levity, not (just) outrage.

When my bullshyt detector has a low signal and I'm worried about being lulled into complacency, I immediately ask myself WWSDD? I find it to be a good mental excercise.

CantExplain · Jun 13, 2018, 04:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HowDoYouFeelMeow?

Although I welcome SD's views, I have personally interpreted some posts that speak of the two women as somewhat dehumanizing. But of course my interpretation is my issue.

I wouldn't want to be Stopdog's T!

rainbow8 · Jun 13, 2018, 07:23 AM

I think it's against the rules of PC to discuss someone.

Fuzzybear · Jun 13, 2018, 01:09 PM

If there hadn’t been so many, constantly changing, rules in that therapy maybe I’d still be alive now. Who in their right mind would “choose” to imagine such insanity from a therapist. Or who would “choose” to “dwell” on it

Those who know me, maybe not many ..know that I’m not “insane” - whatever the **** that means.

I don’t claim not to be angry about how that jerk broke my heart. Just like the parental units.

BudFox · Jun 13, 2018, 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HowDoYouFeelMeow?

I don't think the distribution of good vs. bad therapists in the population is equal to the distribution of good vs. bad therapists that get sued. Of course you'll encounter more bad ones if it's your job to sue them.

I'm guessing there are many therapists who deserve to be sued, but aren't because it's too much of a burden for the victims.

Quote:

Originally Posted by HowDoYouFeelMeow?

Although I welcome SD's views, I have personally interpreted some posts that speak of the two women as somewhat dehumanizing. But of course my interpretation is my issue.

I found therapy dehumanizing.

nottrustin · Jun 13, 2018, 07:05 PM

I say seldom because there are therapeutic reasons that it is no longer healthy for treatment to continue with a current provider. It don't think it is really common but there are times. Or well they they are good and then suddenly die.😢

Deejay14 · Jun 13, 2018, 07:10 PM

I have never had a therapist or a psychiatrist break my heart. They have helped fix it at times.

nottrustin · Jun 13, 2018, 07:14 PM

[QUOTE=stopdog;5970634]My view is based on the fact that I sue them for a living. My personal experience with them has been they are simply mediocre flawed human beings who were mostly useless to me.

I respect your opinion but most people don't sue the good therapists so only see the bad.

nottrustin · Jun 13, 2018, 07:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

How does my lack of respect for that profession or attacking the profession harm you or a therapist?I have disdain for the profession. There may be an individual therapist here or there that is not a complete **** up.
I am giving my opinion of those guys and their profession. And I will keep doing it. You don't have to agree with me or you can put me on ignore if you find my opinions so upsetting. The funny thing to me is that people here get so worked up about how I view that profession - much more so than any therapist I ever hired did - and I certainly told them about it. They took my money and did not seem too concerned that I did not respect them or their profession. Also it is possible that some take me more seriously than I take myself.

With this explanation of your experience with T I can I understand your negative perception of the field. All the T's I and my family have seen, admitted only a few out of millions, states in the first session said that if there werent some level of mutual respect and it would not be beneficial to continue therapy so they would help me find somebody else. So for them to continue to treat me only for the money seems xrazy.

velcro003 · Jun 13, 2018, 08:29 PM

SD: I wish I could edit my post. I have the utmost respect for you and your opinions. I was slightly drunk when I posted, but I apologize if I upset you or made you shake a stick at me and told me to get off your lawn.

stopdog · Jun 13, 2018, 08:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by velcro003

SD: I wish I could edit my post. I have the utmost respect for you and your opinions. I was slightly drunk when I posted, but I apologize if I upset you or made you shake a stick at me and told me to get off your lawn.

No worries.

stopdog · Jun 13, 2018, 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nottrustin

With this explanation of your experience with T I can I understand your negative perception of the field. All the T's I and my family have seen, admitted only a few out of millions, states in the first session said that if there werent some level of mutual respect and it would not be beneficial to continue therapy so they would help me find somebody else. So for them to continue to treat me only for the money seems xrazy.

My point was not that therapists do it only for money. The ones I hired took the money and did not care I view their profession with disdain. But that does not mean the only reason they are therapists is for money. It is one reason but probably not the only.
I think they are much more seduced by the unearned adoration.

Jun 13, 2018, 09:37 PM

It's NEVER necessary. I thought a therapist was obliged to "do no harm"? To intentionally set out to break a client's heart is abhorrent.

velcro003 · Jun 13, 2018, 09:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

No worries.

Thanks pal. *pats on the back* or maybe just a head nod

BudFox · Jun 14, 2018, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

I think they are much more seduced by the unearned adoration.

That's what I think also. Most of the ones I saw seemed to be drugged up on client worship.

velcro003 · Jun 14, 2018, 11:59 AM

My T gets zero adoration or worship from me. She knows I usually have one foot out the door.

UglyDucky · Jun 14, 2018, 02:41 PM

I voted 'seldom', the reason being that some Ts are not as educated in this type of thing (attachment, love?) and don't take time to help clients get to a more stable state of mind. Too, there are clients who simply can't get past what they feel and no matter what the T does, they will be heart broken.

Just my two cents from what I've experienced and seen.

SalingerEsme · Jun 14, 2018, 02:48 PM

There is such a difference between the T chair and the patient chair ( seat on the couch). You can have a profound, connected session, then watch as the next patient goes up the elevator to have a profound and connected session. It is a very very unnatural thing to bond deeply with a serial bonder and to bond serially. I think the brokenheartedness that stems sometimes from therapy is actually kind of natural, given the situation of the client to take emotional risks with someone who isn't also taking them reciprocally.

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Is it really necessary to break a patient's heart?

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