[Marsfx]

Has anyone done this with their therapist and benefitted from it? I do like my therapist, so far they've been pretty adaptable when it comes to things that would make me more comfortable. I've been struggling with the dynamic a lot and am trying to figure out how to help her help me. In one of our sessions where she mentioned she might be feeling stuck I asked questions about why. A lot of her answers didn't measure up, for me but now I'm thinking maybe she has misread me a lot more than I thought. I've been told a lot that I'm difficult to know, even by other doctors and friends. I'm good at talking, and socializing, but not so good at communicating feelings and if that make sense.

I want to see my file, but most things I find are for people that dislike their therapist or something legal. I'm not concerned with weather she thinks I'm nice or have a good heart, but more to what she sees as blocking her out or putting my guard up.
Also realized while she feeling that she is a stranger to me, and when she self disclosed a bit to help with that it didn't have a huge effect. Now I realize, because I wasn't really curious about her personal life or what she did on the weekends. I realized I have no way of understanding her profession. My pdoc, explains why a medication may or may not work, what to expect, etc.
But my therapist hasn't explained any of her techniques, but is it possible for them to be open about the technique they'd use in regards to my situation and it to still have an effect?

I see so much about strong transference, and how painful it can be. But if the first therapist you had this with, mentioned this early on and explained it do you think it'd help any? I figure, I can accept that it will happen, but think the awareness would help keep boundaries and attachment healthy.

[healinginprogress]

In your case, it doesn't sound like it would be beneficial to see your file. If there's a block, I think it's more likely that you need to talk and talk and talk some more. I know what you mean about not really being able to express your true self through words though. I went through a lot of therapists before I found the one that realized just because I looked OK and acted OK that I wasn't OK and who believed me and helped me search things out when I said I felt bad but didn't know why.

I think talking about what her perceptions are is a good start. Or, even talking about what you think her perceptions are of you. I also don't think there's anything wrong with asking about her techniques and how she thinks that they will be beneficial to you, either.

How long have you been seeing her? I think people who have a hard time communicating feelings also do a good job of hiding their true selves (myself included!) so it can take a little while to really get to the meat of the issues. It sounds like you have a good relationship so far, I would bank on that and just express some of the concerns you have stated here vs asking to see your file (at this point).

[fille_folle]

I agree with what healinginprogress said. I'm not sure how seeing your file would help you, and I do think talking about how your T perceives and interprets you and your words/behavior would be more likely to give you the information you're seeking.

[Wonderfalls]

You know that she is not required by HIPAA to let you see your session notes. Just asking, by itself, doesn't hurt I guess, but I would think she would balk. Which would not help your feelings for her. I also think it could actually harm your relationship with her if she felt she had to be circumspect in her evaluations.You pay her to see things from her own perspective as well as yours.

[kecanoe]

I doubt that your T would have the kind of information you are looking for in your file. I've seen Ts notes on occasion. All that is in there is notes about what I have said. Never diagnosis or Ts thoughts about me.