Would you accept a free session(s) from your T? (Poll)

I’m curious because my T offered this to me recently, and I’m already feeling guilty and like I owe him, and I haven’t even attended the free sessions yet. (He offered 2 and I did accept, but I’m reconsidering).

Edit to add: my T offered because I’m struggling financially, and his office just now told me my insurance had covered only a percentage of (rather than 100% of like we’d thought) of my last 7 sessions.

Depends on why. Is it restitution for something? You had a huge rupture and this is an attempt to help heal that rupture? Or T made a huge mistake and missed a session and this is a make up? Sure, I'd accept a free session in that case. If your T knew that you hit a huge financial rough patch and this is temporary until you get back on your feet, also OK in my book.

Just because? Eh... I'm not so sure. And absolutely not if it made me felt like I would owe my T anything.

I have. They were two delayed termination sessions with No. 3 and one emergency session with No. 2. In each case the therapists waived the fee because they felt the sessions were needed to make up for mistakes they made.

I’m okay with it.

His first session was free. That felt fine. I wouldn't want more free sessions though because I feel like mutually holding all the boundaries is what makes it safe for me.

I'd take them. I think Ts should know enough to not offer a free session if it is going to be a problem for them. In your case, it seems like a modification on offering a sliding scale, which is a nice thing to do for someone struggling, IMO.

Once or twice my ex-t talked so much about herself she told me not to pay for the sessions. I sure didn't.

Toward the end of my time with ex-t, we met for free to discuss my growing concerns about her sickening, unethical behaviors. She gaslighted the living crap out of me and pretty much blamed me for her breaking the boundaries. Lol. So when she offered me two free sessions after that fallout so I could decide if I wanted to continue therapy with her or to find closure with therapy, I declined. It was for my own emotional safety.

Is your t going to charge your insurance and just not charge you the difference in what they don't cover? If so, does that make you feel less guilty? He'd still be getting paid, just at a reduced rate. If that's the case, I would be good with that and have no problem accepting.

I took free sessions from my exT

I pay a reduced rate but would not be comfortable with free sessions from current T

THAT SAID - there is nothing wrong with free sessions with an ethical therapist. I just wouldn't be comfortable because of my background and specific experience with an unethical T.

I did not pay the woman for a couple of appointments - not because of inability to pay but because she screwed up so badly she sent my check back to me. I did not feel bad about it.

I would take a free session for any reason. I am spending a small fortune there. I wouldn't feel guilty what so ever.

I’ve spent weeks — no, scratch that, months — telling therapists how they screwed up.

And, no, I wasn’t offered any free sessions.

I don’t care about it at all with current T — she has gone out of her way to make changes for me (which obviously have costed her non-trivial amounts of money, which I sometimes feel guilty about) but I sure wish former T would’ve waived at least a couple of rather bad sessions (especially since it had a direct impact on my ability to function later).

This happened once, when my therapist double booked and sent me packing. I had to make a second trip at the end of the day--no small cost to my day since she is in another city. In that case, I accepted. I don't think she would ever do that again, or even offer a reduced rate, even though she does it for others.

Strangely enough, the therapist of a friend of mine sent me a check as thank you for something I told my friend that was spot on. I had never met that therapist--then or since--and didn't cash the check.

Maybe, if she screwed up with the scheduling. Or if she was trying to get me to come in more than once a week when it's a financially difficult time... but even then I'd probably just agree to phone or see if we could do video chat or something. I'd feel some level of guilt..

A few times over the years t has told me not to pay her. When I told her she deserved to be paid, she told me she got to decide that not me. One time was when . I took extra sleeping pills and had an emergency session. She didn't want me to pay her nor was she going to submit anything to my insurance company as she didn't want them to know anything about the appointment. The other times there are some financial issues. I told her I could afford my copay but again she refused to let me pay. I accepted but felt a little guilty.

I would take one to repair a rupture...haven't been offered one, though!

I guess...there was one session with marriage counselor where, when we sat down in his office, he said he had to leave in 20 minutes for a semi-emergency. He gave us the choice whether to stay or just leaving, saying if we stayed, he wouldn't charge us for 20 minutes. We opted to stay, as I was in kind of a bad place. He ended up being fairly helpful, despite the limited time. So, I guess we got a free almost-half-session.

Former T gave me some free sessions during a time when I was transitioning from seeing him as a student to privately. It was purely because of financial difficulty. After that, he saw me for a greatly reduced fee until my work situation stabilized.

Current T gave me a free session when I wanted to book a double session for a specific reason, but my insurance doesn't allow for that. She offered and said it was no problem at all, so I took her at her word.

I would only accept a free session if the T or my counseling clinic was somehow at fault, or I had been deprived of something... for example one time I sat waiting for my T in the clinic waiting room for 30 minutes before she came out, apologizing profusely -- she was on crisis duty that day, and had been seeing a walk-in person who was in crisis. Because I only got 20 minutes with her, the clinic gave me my next session for free. And my T promised never to schedule me on her crisis day again.

I received free sessions for maybe a year and a half from my longtime T. Once I turned 18, she didn't want me worrying about my parents being in any way involved (by paying). Once I got a job, I started paying her a very reduced rate. I felt very appreciative of her doing that for me. As for if I felt like I owed her... I'm not sure. I guess I did/do, but not in a way where I feel like I need to make it up to her in a tangible sort of way. It's hard to explain.

Edit: That said, I've never felt entitled to free sessions. I really respect my T's time and she deserves to be compensated.

How very odd.

Thanks for all of the replies! It sounds like there are a lot of mixed views and feelings about it except for when the therapist blatantly messes up.
I’m hesitant to accept my Ts offer, but at the same time, I don’t know that I have another option. I’m not in a good place to just miss a month of therapy, and I definitely can’t afford it. I just hate feeling like I owe him and we’re not equals anymore.

I had one free "session" but it wasn't truly a therapy session. My first T also does group training classes and I wanted to attend some of them and he let me. I was going to pay the normal fee for the classes. But I was the only person showing up one day, so we just turned it into a conversation more or less, talking also a lot about why the other people might not have shown up... it had little to do with the training, so I just wrote him a check for a personal session given that he sat there talking with me for more than an hour. When I left, he shortly sent me an email that he felt it was not fair to charge me for that meeting and never cashed the check. I actually agreed on that one.

Not actual sessions, but my second T emailed with me quite a lot for >a year after I stopped formally seeing him in sessions, completely free of charge. It wasn't anything like a friendship, more just updates, and I was always very ambivalent about it, told him this many times, but I still sent emails and he often responded. I am still not really sure about his motive, maybe he found it interesting or perhaps expected that I would return to paid sessions someday. There was nothing different in the emails compared with those that we exchanged while still his formal client except that they were much less infrequent and less diverse in content. Last time we emailed just a few weeks ago but I now feel even less comfortable and think that I will stop contacting him as I do not feel it is appropriate this long; I also no longer feel it has any benefit, just the same kinds of emails.

You can think of it this way: He is a professional. He has the ability to set his rates, change his rates, waive fees, and enforce fees. As a professional he has offered this service to you because he feels a professional obligation. He has reviewed the situation in his head (and possibly with other professionals) and has decided within his boundaries that this is acceptable. That ethically it is more important that you have sessions then putting money ahead of the therapeutic process. You can also ask for a reduced fee instead of a free session which may make you feel better.

My insurance only pays for so many sessions per year. Because I see her every week, these sessions eventually ran out. She said that for the remaining part of the year she would see me pro bono. I felt weird at first. But she is ethical and I do trust her. And I really needed to see her.

I would never accept a free session (highly doubt that any therapist would offer one anyway). Not because of guilt (why feel guilty?) but because the money is there to compensate for the fact that this is a one-sided relationship. Well on paper at least. If a therapist offers free sessions, the worry is that they'll start feeling resentful if/when the client is upset/angry/critical at some point or another. I know people here say that: well therapists are grown-*** adults and nobody is forcing them to offer free sessions. The fact is a lot of therapists have no self-awareness and don't seem to think much about things at all. We see this enough on this forum. My ex therapist started resenting me at some point because she felt I was asking for too much even though she had previously said it was ok and that she was fine with me emailing/texting. And I always paid her handsomely and on time.

Yes, and I have in the past.

I used to feel guilty about accepting anything from anyone or be left with the feeling i owed them.

What helped me was simply to start accepting things people wanted to give me and not dwell on it. Now it's much easier. If people offer something, I'll take it if I need it.

Hope things work out.