Couch 161: The Hexagonal Pyramidal Couch

Glad you'll at least be able to visit him. And that your T was helpful and can give you more support over the weekend/next week if needed.

ugh that is AWFUL art! jeez.

Art, I am so sorry.

I hope you're able to really carve out time to take doctor's and t's advice. Get rest, eat properly, take some time to cry and breathe and whatever else you need to do to keep yourself from getting run down so that you can stay well.

Sending hugs and healing thoughts your way.

So my boss suggested I check on FMLA for this time off work. So I called them and the gal I talked to said normally i would set up a continuous leave for until h is out of the hospital, and then intermittent leave after he gets out if needed. I don't know what to do. Has anyone used FMLA before for something like this? I was all ready to go back to work Monday thinking this was about over with and just take the hit as far as unplanned time off (up to 5 days counts as 1 occurance), but this 10 more days in the hospital thing threw me for loop, so i called and got it started. just looking for what other people would do. would you guys take the continuous and just be off until he's out of the hospital? or would you go to work and just do the intermittent so you could leave if you needed to? my brain's so fried i don't know what to do.

and thank you all for your kind words and thoughts. much appreciated. i'm like in a foreign land with all of this.

Art--will going to work help YOU? What would you do instead if you took the continuous leave? Spend every day in the hospital? (Don't they limit visiting hours anymore?) Does he want you there all day, every day?

Basically, it's what will help you be strong enough to support your husband and take care of yourself. If being around other people will help and distract you, and if you think you can concentrate on your job, I would take the option that would allow you to work.

I've been calling around today trying to find some advice for my tax dilemma. The DV center was no help. I called a couple of law helplines and finally got a recommendation for a lawyer who does family and tax law. But now I'm feeling really triggered having to state my problem over and over to strangers. So now I'm crying at my desk at work. This really sucks.

I agree with everything she said. I would probably go to work too. I would be stressed about missing work and it would provide a needed distraction. Or could you work half days?

No, visiting hours are 24/7. But you know what you're right. Thank you for that. I think I will do the intermittent. it's not like i'm taking calls anymore, right?

After reading up on the H's condition, i would take family leave until the all clear is definitely given. I would not go back to clean out my desk - let them box stuff up if they want the space. Better safe than sorry.

As an alternative, if youre answering emails, could you work from home?

I wonder if this could be like a legionnaires disease from the furnace? Maybe he inadvertently picked up a cootie from it, on his clothes, then was in the car for his last delivery with it?

I wish i knew more about family leave. I would spend the time scrubbing the house and car with bleach and eating tons of yogurt

Hugs, NP...sorry you have to deal with all this. Hopefully that lawyer will be able to help you (and maybe advise you other things if needed).

thanks una. we do have people who work at home doing this job, but it's a forever process to set up all the accesses, nothing they can do quickly. But thanks for the thought!

I am stressed about missing work already. I called our FMLA people and set it up, so this week is covered by the continuous FMLA, and then on Monday I'm going to call and report that I'm back at work and then start an Intermittent FMLA claim til he gets out of the hospital so that I can leave if I need to, take a day or two off here and there if I need to, whatever. But mostly try to be at work.

That sounds like a good plan, Art! That way you have something to occupy your mind, plus the flexibility you need.

Art, I am so sorry. I was pulling for him to get home today and for all of you to get back on track. I agree with going back to work and using intermittent leave as you need it. This is what working people all over have to do and, like @@ said, going to work can help you with the distraction (plus, less worrying about missed work). If you are needed, it will be when he's not getting round the clock care. When I went through this with a parent, that's how I made my decisions--was someone already looking after her in a medical setting or otherwise? If so, I worked. If not, I stayed on call.

Plus, I would want to limit my time around an infectious person, tbh. No reason for both of you to fall ill. I'm a little ticked off that it took them this long to figure out.

I hate work because I have to deal with people. My social anxiety makes me care too much about what others think and I ****ing hate it with a passion. The problem is not necessarily other people, the problem is that I easily get triggered by seemingly innocuous things. I feel like a ****ing idiot. I feel like other people control me, although I get the dysfunction is within me. So I guess I hate me. How am I supposed to be compassionate with myself when I'm the one causing myself so much misery. Ugh.

so i go to the doc for my check up . i told her that i have been having a few chest pain episodes in the last 3 weeks .she did an ekg and came gack in the room saying that it was not good at all . i have never seen her so worried . a lot was said because i am stubborn. she sent me for stat blood work (she has never done that ) i said is it that bad .she said bad enough that i think you might need to go to the er . then she said lets see what the blood work says and i might want to send you to the er anyway . she said i could go home and wait if i promise to go to the er when she calls me . it has been 2 hours and she has not called so i am thinking no news is great and it was not something big but im scared .i do not want anymore surgery

granite, that sounds scary. Hugs.

oh no granite, sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

I emailed t to schedule a session for next week and we did. And she just emailed again and thanked me for calling. For some reason that feels good.

I had a brain fart reading this and thought someone must have poated some Jackson Pollack somewhere. I went looking for it.

((((Art))))

The current state of my lap, the green and pink bit is me the rest are animals.

Social anxiety sucks. And it hard when others don't get what is triggering. Hope you have the weekend off and can recover.

Have you heard back from the doctor, Granite? How are you doing?