[MRT6211]

So I’m part of this treatment program where I go every day to groups taught by 7 different therapists. I see one of those Ts for therapy and our therapy in that sense is traditional, but overall our relationship is a little more casual/friendly than with a T that I would just see in session.

Now, even though I don’t and have never had a substance abuse problem, I have to be drug tested weekly for reasons that are complicated. Well occasionally these drugs tests come back as false positives for opiates for no reason, and that happened with the one I took last Friday. So, the nurse normally carries out these tests, but since they wanted to re-test me today and the nurse wasn’t available, my T ended up doing it. That meant she had to come into the bathroom with me and I had to give her my sample and everything.

This made me wildly uncomfortable but I was too intimidated to say anything and knew it would look like a dumb excuse to get out of the test and might make me look guilty even though I’m not. But I’ve been ruminating on it nonstop and I cringe every time I think about the fact that this happened. I don’t even want to see her for our session tomorrow. I already hate doing the urine tests because I find them demeaning and humiliating, and it was just so, so much worse having her do it. I don’t think I’ll be able to look her in the face. I want to just hide.

Am I overreacting? Would this make anyone else feel uncomfortable?

[maybeblue]

Yes. That would make me horribly uncomfortable. I bet I wouldn't have been able to pee at all. Maybe it is something about liking all my relationships to be predictable and compartmentalized. I wouldn't talk to my doctor about my self esteem, and I wouldn't want my therapist to see me naked.

[toomanycats]

Pee with my therapist right there and then hand my therapist my urine? yeah...I would be so freaking uncomfortable - I doubt I could actually do it. I'm really sorry (and hoping my comment doesn't make it worse). I absolutely think your feelings are valid and that discussing them does not in any way make it look like you have a drug problem (besides which, the tests will rule that out). I'm really sorry.

[kecanoe]

You are not overreacting. Ugh. Can you talk to her about it?

[MRT6211]

Originally Posted by kecanoe

You are not overreacting. Ugh. Can you talk to her about it?

I have session with her tomorrow at 10am, but I am petrified of going for the first time ever. I don’t want to face her. Part of that is also because I just had this feeling today that she was mad at me for something, just the way she interacted with me. I don’t know what I did or if that’s even real, though. I just had a panic attack when I thought of going.

[fille_folle]

Ick, that's pretty dreadful. Maybe what you were perceiving as her being mad at you was her also being uncomfortable? Or maybe she was irritated at the situation?

[mostlylurking]

This sounds like an absolute nightmare. Full stop.

I'm so sorry MRT.

[MRT6211]

Originally Posted by fille_folle

Ick, that's pretty dreadful. Maybe what you were perceiving as her being mad at you was her also being uncomfortable? Or maybe she was irritated at the situation?

Well it was all day before that when I already thought she was irritated with me and I’m not sure why but I have a bunch of guesses. I just felt like her vibe towards me was off all day.

[Argonautomobile]

Geez, I'm sorry that happened to you. How dreadful. I don't see what you can do but talk to her about it. I have felt humiliated and found talking to the t can help me feel less humiliated. Good luck.

[here today]

This is horrible. The program doesn't trust you. They have no personal reason not to trust you, it's just "policy", for reasons that are complicated -- but it's about their "policy", I guess, and not you.

They are not taking into account the "side effect" of their policy, and they definitely should. That policy has obviously triggered or generated a tremendous sense of shame for you. I hope that you can feel comfortable enough, or angry or assertive enough, to discuss this with your therapist. It's a bad, destructive policy on the part of the treatment program and they need to know. They may not listen but I think you need to tell them, if you feel able to.

[nottrustin]

I am sorry you are going through this. I can't imagine how horrible it feels. As somebody who has had to supervise a urine on occasion, we hate it just as much. I am sure that doesn't make you feel any better. As soon as we are done we forget about it.

As far as the false positives go there ate certain antidepressants that will give a false positive for opiates

[Sarmas]

That’s just too much for me as well. I can see why that would make you uncomfortable.

I don't understand what right a therapist has to drug test you, but I would not go there.

One time when I had a health emergency, I was asked if I did any drugs. I did not so of course said no. They gave me a drug test anyway, despite that I was competent when asked. I was livid, as I never gave my consent to the test and know about the false positives.

A false positive in your medical record could permanently affect you. For one, you could go to the ER with a high level of pain and be left to suffer in agony, accused of drug seeking. For example, neuro issues can cause excrutiating pain, but those issues often do not show up on the usual scans. So if nothing shows on a test, and you have a positive result in your record, you likely would be accused of drug seeking and not get the appropriate treatment. Hard to believe, but it happens to people. There are human rights connected with this issue.

So for me, i would not be so concerned about the peeing in front of someone, but because of the implications of being wrongly accused of taking drugs illegally.

[MRT6211]

My T was unfortunately less than sympathetic about my issues with this situation. She actually even mocked me. We got into a huge argument. We pretty much worked it out later, though. I still feel really down and awful though.

As for why it’s done, it’s not a policy of the program, but rather my school...for really complicated reasons. The program is just doing what they are told to do.

[Anne2.0]

Because this is not the policy of your T or the counseling agency, they are just as helpless as you are in being able to do anything differently. I am sorry you are in this situation but it sounds like one of those things you just have to get through. Focusing on it is just a distraction from the real issues.