[Kiya]

So first I went in for ADD eval and was dx'd. I did counseling with this guy who i both hated and liked at the same time. When he moved, i was upset and also angry at myself for caring (he was kinda an idiot).
Then a few years later I started counseling with this really old woman (she just looked about 30 years older than she actually was) and I really didn't feel much for her. I ended up hating the therapy and quit.
Moved on to another woman when the panic and flash backs got too bad - and totally totally attached to her. I've got internal kid parts and they just adopted her. I kept thinking this wasn't good for me - i know about the boundaries we all have to set. And i think she would have crossed them if things had gotten bad enough, like if i had been kicked out, she kept telling me she had a room i could be in until I got on my feet - that I was not to live on the street for anything. Some of what she said made some parts really really angry. Long story short we moved on and stopped therapy, but I never actually told her good bye because it would have killed me. I just left it as "I'm done, I need a break." She still checks in on me every now and again. I went on to do therapy with another gal who focused more on DID and when that ended I was really upset (even though i told her i needed closeure, i felt abandoned - how stupid is that?). And now that my dr is having me see this new therapist (and both my former t's know about it), I just don't see myself getting attached to her at all. At least not in the same way. I am bummed out that she didn't have time for me this week and I'm bummed that she didn't call back when i had concerns about self injury at my new job... but just the way she is, I can't really think that I'll attach to her and I thought that was a really good thing because I'm not suppose to. But now I'm seeing all these posts and some books that say it is supposed to happen and is a good thing...?!?! I don't get it.
Kiya

[Perna]

You're only going halfway through the tunnel is the problem; if you have to stop therapy before it should be stopped (for whatever reason -- sounds like several of your therapists might not have been good for you) the attachment doesn't play out all the way to its conclusion. It's like going into a train tunnel and then backing out again.

[Kiya]

Hmmmmmmmm ok.... i will work at not being so hard on myself this time, then if I start attaching to this T. I keep telling myself this week not to care but maybe i actually need to care... or learn the right way to have people in my life.
K

[Mouse_]

You don't "get" attachment, you "work" through it. We're human beings and when we come into contact with another humanbeing, all types of connections begin to "grow". Its learning healthy ways of dealing with these attachments that is the most beneficial and teaches us where we end and another starts.