[AnaWhitney]

So I found my perfect T a while ago and was so confident that I was going to be able to actually do some great work with her. For one reason or another I ended up not being able to make it for a few weeks and this turned into a break of 3 months.
Anyway I contacted her to go back soon and she told me that she would be leaving soon so if I wanted an appointment to let her know. I was a little heartbroken of course and wondered what was the point in going back if it wasnt going to be long term ?
Then I remembered I tend to not like long term anyway, I think I prefer to do short amounts of quality work and then have a break and think about things. I can do this with her still. I really dont want to see anyone else, this T was the perfect match for me and I got more done with her than other Ts I saw for much longer.
Its just typical. I had a feeling it was too good to be true. Just curious as to what others would do in my situation?

[Argonautomobile]

It's totally personal preference, I think. I would not choose to see a T who stated they'd be leaving soon. Even though I don't necessarily need/want to see someone weekly for long-term therapy (I've seen my T twice in the last 6 months...) I also don't like an artificially-imposed timeline.

We did this in my first course of therapy ("let's plan to stop weekly sessions in 15 weeks unless something comes up.") and I wasn't able to engage at all. I just kept counting down the weeks, getting progressively more anxious that I wouldn't be "ready" by the deadline, and finally shutting down entirely because, well, what was the point in getting into something if I wasn't sure I'd be done with it by X date?

But that's just me.

[satsuma]

Personally I wouldn't, because it takes me a long time to trust people (as in years, and even after years it is still difficult). So for me personally I feel I would get very little out of short term therapy.

But as Argonautomobile said, it totally depends on the person. Some people do great work and can make really good use of short term therapy.

I guess it depends what you think you would be able to achieve versus how upset will you be when you get on well with this T and then she leaves.

[InnerPeace111]

I’m the kind of person who would go to see her for whatever short amount of time is left. I’d go in with and open mind an open heart. I’d learn what I could. I’d carry the feeling and experience with me after she leaves. I’m of the mindset that people show up in our lives at just the right time and for just the right reason. Take the opportunity that’s being presented. I wish you all the best!

[fille_folle]

I wouldn't. Since you already think she's the "perfect t," I'd be worried that losing her would be difficult. Perhaps she offered an appointment with the idea that you could continue to see her even after she leaves her current position? I would ask about this.

[MobiusPsyche]

For me it would depend on how soon she was leaving.... 3 weeks no thanks but if she'll be around for 3 months it might be worthwhile. Plus if she gets to know me better maybe she can give me a referral of someone she thinks I would get on well with.

I did. Never again.

[stopdog]

I see one who is over 76 years old. Leaving is an option whether voluntary or not.
The first one I saw just retired and she was in her early 70s. I started with them knowing they could die or retire (they were/are both semi-retired when I hired them).
So I probably would depending on what I was planning to use them for.

[nottrustin]

I could not because my issues are too complex for short term and it would take time for me to rebuild the connect. However my daughter did just that. She saw a therapist in middle school they resolved her issues. Then hee senior year of high school she needed to go back. When we called the therapist she told us she would be happy to work with her again but that she was moving in a month and a half. We decided to go with it. It worked out perfectly but kiddo only needed a tune up and not deal with major issues.

[growlycat]

For me, I would not want to restart therapy with someone who is leaving. But if that t and I did good work I might want a session to say goodbye. But that is a very expensive goodbye!

[ScarletPimpernel]

No, I would not. I need someone who will be there long-term.

[annielovesbacon]

It depends on how long, but if they were leaving in less than a year, then no.

My first T, whom I saw at my university's clinic, was in a doctoral program meaning she would only be at the clinic for one year. I didn't know this at first, and about halfway through the year, she realized she had neglected to mention that she would be leaving and apologized profusely. (I was not and am not upset with her, just to be clear.) She left right when I felt we had JUST started making progress. It takes me a long time to trust a T. So if a T was leaving in less than 1-2 years, I would not see them.

Silver lining -- when my old T left, she gave me a name of a therapist she knew whom she I thought I'd get along with. That T is now my current T, and she was right, we get along splendidly

[Wonderfalls]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I see one who is over 76 years old. Leaving is an option whether voluntary or not.
The first one I saw just retired and she was in her early 70s. I started with them knowing they could die or retire (they were/are both semi-retired when I hired them).
So I probably would depending on what I was planning to use them
for.

I always thought of your therapists as women in their thirties.

[stopdog]

I would never hire one who was younger than I am.

For me, that wouldn't work because of my history of abandonment. But if someone has no issues in that area, then why not.

[Lemoncake]

Personally I don't think I would. I've always tended to form very strong attachments and would need time to work with that.

[AnaWhitney]

Originally Posted by Argonautomobile

It's totally personal preference, I think. I would not choose to see a T who stated they'd be leaving soon. Even though I don't necessarily need/want to see someone weekly for long-term therapy (I've seen my T twice in the last 6 months...) I also don't like an artificially-imposed timeline.

We did this in my first course of therapy ("let's plan to stop weekly sessions in 15 weeks unless something
comes up.") and I wasn't able to engage at all. I just kept counting down the weeks, getting progressively more anxious that I wouldn't be "ready" by the deadline, and finally shutting down entirely because, well, what was the point in getting into something if I wasn't sure I'd be done with it by X date?

But that's just me.

Yes, I know what you mean about the artificially imposed timeline. I sort of feel that way a bit already but I think I can get over it.
I think it might actually work for me in a reverse psychology sort of way though, it might make me commit and not fall into my usual way of feeling like I despise everything from the T to the actual building and wishing to never see them again. Because Ill be aware its about to be over soon.
Im sort of the same way with men, I only want them if I think they wont stick around, but if they show any real interest it repulses me. I think its the same way of thinking for me..
Although I do think Id have conquered all this with this T, She is my kind of person and she doesnt creep me out at all, she even changes the room around so it looks different to me so I dont get creeped out. Darn it really is such a pity...

[AnaWhitney]

Originally Posted by satsuma

Personally I wouldn't, because it takes me a long time to trust people (as in years, and even after years it is still difficult). So for me personally I feel I would get very little out of short term therapy.

But as Argonautomobile said, it totally depends on the person. Some people do great work and can make really good use of short term therapy.

I guess it depends what you think you would be able to achieve versus how upset will you be when you get on well with this T and then she leaves.

I think I will be more upset if she leaves and I didnt do any more work with her. I think I will take the work with me afterwords, it wont just disappear when she does. I hope!!

[AnaWhitney]

Originally Posted by InnerPeace111

IÂ’m the kind of person who would go to see her for whatever short amount of time is left. IÂ’d go in with and open mind an open heart. IÂ’d learn what I could. IÂ’d carry the feeling and experience with me after she leaves. IÂ’m of the mindset that people show up in our lives at just the right time and for just the right reason. Take the opportunity thatÂ’s being presented. I wish you all the best!

Yes, I really like what you wrote! I think like that too sometimes. Ive already thought that maybe this is how it has to be for me to open up, and its all for a reason. Thanks

[AnaWhitney]

Originally Posted by fille_folle

I wouldn't. Since you already think she's the "perfect t," I'd be worried that losing her would be difficult. Perhaps she offered an appointment with the idea that you could continue to see her even after she leaves her current position? I would ask about this.

I have asked and for whatever reason its not possible. I dont get that though, she must be changing to a different career altogether or something. ??

[AnaWhitney]

Originally Posted by MobiusPsyche

For me it would depend on how soon she was leaving.... 3 weeks no thanks but if she'll be around for 3 months it might be worthwhile. Plus if she gets to know me better maybe she can give me a referral of someone she thinks I would get on well with.

Yeah I suppose thats one way of looking at it. Although at the moment I dont want to see someone else, as mean as this is to say, most of them give me the creeps

[toomanycats]

With my history, I could not do that.