Couch 164: Pink Moon

You were getting spam from him before? Did you and he hang out with una and the Russian ambassador?

Also in the complaints department: we wait for ages for you to be able to change your title aaand...that’s it? No clever repartee?

Think of me—I must live through you.

There is for my therapist. But only if someone asks. Or maybe it's just me.

Ah, OK. I mean, I've gone in recovering from a cold before. But also haven't done the handshaking in that case (either offered not to or one time, current T was like, "I noticed some coughing, so, let's not do handshake"). Just thought maybe there was a standard I didn't know about!

Watching Billions for the first time. The therapist is super wiley. Of course, she has only has a single type of client she caters to, so she has it down pat, but it's fascinating to watch.

Nah, it's just specific to my therapist.

Gotcha! I've just been unsure sometimes. But I feel like...they have to be able to deal with colds and similar minor illnesses from their clients. I figure it's just part of doing business with other people. At the same time, I'd cancel (or at least offer to?) if I had a fever, stomach bug, the flu, etc.

From what other posters have said, this is not an issue with their therapists. Mine said people do show up sick, and she doesn't turn them away; however, if asked, she prefers to have people stay home. I don't know if she has health vulnerabilities, but she's mentioned frustration with elevator issues and the impact on her clients with cancer, so maybe some of it is that she also doesn't want those clients to pick up something inadvertently (Just guessing on that one. I don't even know if that's a risk).

Chemotherapy compromises the immune system, so if they’re being actively treated I guess it’s a legitimate concern.

But just going outside would be a risk then.

I totally get why a T wouldn't want to get sick from clients. Especially if they don't want to pass on to other clients. Or to have to take time off. At the same time, if it's like the common cold, then...hard to avoid.

He said to email him if I'm struggling so I did. He said he might not be able to respond right away, but it's been 6 hours. I don't know why I expected a response from him, but I guess I did because of the way he worded it. Surely he's back from his weekend at this time of night (PST it's 8 pm here). I know he called me yesterday for a few minutes (3). Maybe I'm just expecting too much. It just makes me feel so alone and I'm tired of feeling alone in this.

Tillerson ditched me for the Russian ambassador

I can change it to “Is moderated”?

I drove to my husband's prison today because I wanted to see it in person. It's about a 50 mile drive from where I live. It was imposing, with razor wire and towers, but it also wasn't. I couldn't see much of it from the parking lot. It was in the middle of a city, which I didn't expect. I wonder what goes on in there. How he's faring. I know people joke about dropping the soap, but I wonder if that's something he's facing. Our mutual friend told me that people at his last prison (minimum security) were threatening to beat him up. I wonder what kind of violence does he face at this maximum security prison. I know he broke me finally with his actions towards me, but does he deserve this? I don't know. I wish I knew the answer to this question.

NP -- I don't know the laws but isn't the arson (and consequently, potential harm to neighbors / passers-by etc) also a big part of why he's in there?

That's not to say he shouldn't be in there just for what he did to you but more that, what he did to you was symptomatic of his actions against others as well?

(((NP))) not that you are not allowed to do things without your ts permission, but did he know ahead of time that you were planning this trip? I could see my t expecting a call after something difficult like this (but also completely forgetting about it until i texted or called him as we had previously arranged). If it was spur of the moment, then maybe he is just not that available this weekend. Also, he might be a little mad you didnt discuss it with him. One of my ts sure got mad at me when i got married over a weekend without warning her ahead of time, go figure!

Hi couch. H and I had a nice day visiting with our friend who's up in Scottsdale for the next week. We went out to lunch at one of the restaurants downtown, it was really good! I had a veggie sandwich (feta cheese, spring greens, alfalfa sprouts and fresh herbs with tomato, red onion, guacamole and red wine vinaigrette on toasted Ciabatta roll). It was soooo tasty. I am slowly learning how to be a veggie person.

He was originally in a minimum security prison. Last week he got transferred to maximum security, which was really troubling to me because I just don't see him fitting in with a bunch of career criminals. I have no idea why this transfer happened. I know that I shouldn't care anymore because of the way he treated me, but i was with this person for almost 27 years and part of me still cares what happens to him.

No, my therapist did not know about this trip, but I had mentioned it last week as an option. He knew that I was expecting this weekend to be hard for me because we discussed it. I had told him that I wished I had the pills that I had stockpiled with me so that I could give them to him to hold for me for the weekend. He told me to email him if I needed to, but that he was in a cabin for the weekend and he wasn't sure about reception. We talked very briefly yesterday, when I was mostly okay. I was not okay today so I emailed him, which he said to do on the phone call yesterday. I guess I just figured that he was back home from his weekend away by now and would respond to my distress call eventually, but he hasn't and it hurts.

NP—didn’t he plea bargain? And so accept a jail sentence? And assume any risk attached to that, including where he was assigned?

AY is right. He’s a danger to others. Maybe prison won’t change him and he’ll be a recidivist, but it will keep him from hurting anyone in the meantime. Who knows what he would have done by now had he not been arrested and jailed.

He probably would have killed me by now, he was threatening to do so, and even mimed doing it, and I wish he had so I wouldn't have to deal with this pain anymore. I can't deal with this emotional pain. It's too much.

My T is back from his trip today! I can't wait! I'm so blessed he gave me the flight info, to help ease my anxiety of a terrible plane crash etc. I hope we can fix what feels off right now because I hate this disconnect and distant I feel

I have applications in on 3 different dogs. Hopefully I get a call about 1 of them this week. Not sure why I’m going to stir up my house with another dog. I think the house feels empty since my other dog passed in October so I guess that’s why. And I think my remaining dog is ready for a new pal.