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wheeler
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Default Mar 14, 2018 at 08:49 AM
  #1
My T, who I have seen for 2 years, and I have always had an agreement about her retirement. She would give me 5 years notice. Although that may seem like a crazy long time, I needed it to feel safe. My previous 2 Ts left me long before they should have so I’m a little gun-shy.
Well last week she told me she is no longer taking on new clients as she plans on retiring in 8 years. Now this announcement, albeit with much longer notice, has sent me reeling, and I don’t know why. I suppose it’s tranference-related on so many levels, but knowing that doesn’t change how this has really gotten ahold of me.
I know I have to talk about it more with her, but I so don’t want to!...stomping away now!

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Default Mar 14, 2018 at 09:06 AM
  #2
Ack. I feel your pain.
But 8yrs of working together will still be enough time to build some great memories.
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Default Mar 14, 2018 at 09:19 AM
  #3
How old is your therapist?

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Default Mar 14, 2018 at 09:23 AM
  #4
She will be 58 at the end of this year. I will be 54 at the end of this year.

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Default Mar 14, 2018 at 09:25 AM
  #5
The woman I hired just retired. I quit with her in November and one of the things was I could tell she was about to do so - she said she would have given me plenty of notice but it ended up she quit completely in Feb. and she told me at the end of Dec. so 2 months was the time frame of notice she gave

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Default Mar 14, 2018 at 09:33 AM
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I don't know when will my T retires, but I assume she is in her 50s. I don't know her exact age and her plans. What do you do...do you actively asks your T?

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Default Mar 14, 2018 at 10:15 AM
  #7
Quote:
Originally Posted by abusedtoy View Post
I don't know when will my T retires, but I assume she is in her 50s. I don't know her exact age and her plans. What do you do...do you actively asks your T?
We talked about it a bit last week. But it's been eating me up since. I'm supposed to meet her today, so I'll try and swallow my pride and bring it up again.

I just feel really stupid because 8 years is a long time, and by then, if not earlier, I should be in a much better place. Especially the attachment issues that I have with her. And we've talked about trust and security many, many times, so I do feel she'll live up to her word (mostly).

Maybe it's just having an actual end date that scares. And for sure how it ended with previous 2 therapist makes me think it's destined to happen with current T

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Default Mar 14, 2018 at 03:29 PM
  #8
Mine cut back her hours. It doesn't affect my appointment time, but I have a continued anxiety that some day soon she will announce more than a cutting-back, in short, her retirement. She hasn't said anything that would make me worry about it. I just worry because my attachment to her is strong. She is 66 and I am 58.
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Default Mar 14, 2018 at 05:07 PM
  #9
I don't know if anyone else relates to this, but in thinking about my t's eventual (yet unannounced) retirement, I realize the next t will be the first time I will be older than the t. I wasn't worried about her retirement (she's 60), only her kicking me out for being too much, until she reassuringly said she has no plans to retire in the near future. Great - now I worry! :-)
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Default Mar 14, 2018 at 06:49 PM
  #10
That sounds really upsetting. Even though realistically we know that 8 years is a long time, it can be pretty daunting to think about. I'm glad she kept her word, but I'm sorry that you have to go through this.

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