Retirement

My T, who I have seen for 2 years, and I have always had an agreement about her retirement. She would give me 5 years notice. Although that may seem like a crazy long time, I needed it to feel safe. My previous 2 Ts left me long before they should have so I’m a little gun-shy.
Well last week she told me she is no longer taking on new clients as she plans on retiring in 8 years. Now this announcement, albeit with much longer notice, has sent me reeling, and I don’t know why. I suppose it’s tranference-related on so many levels, but knowing that doesn’t change how this has really gotten ahold of me.
I know I have to talk about it more with her, but I so don’t want to!...stomping away now!

Ack. I feel your pain.
But 8yrs of working together will still be enough time to build some great memories.

How old is your therapist?

She will be 58 at the end of this year. I will be 54 at the end of this year.

The woman I hired just retired. I quit with her in November and one of the things was I could tell she was about to do so - she said she would have given me plenty of notice but it ended up she quit completely in Feb. and she told me at the end of Dec. so 2 months was the time frame of notice she gave

I don't know when will my T retires, but I assume she is in her 50s. I don't know her exact age and her plans. What do you do...do you actively asks your T?

We talked about it a bit last week. But it's been eating me up since. I'm supposed to meet her today, so I'll try and swallow my pride and bring it up again.

I just feel really stupid because 8 years is a long time, and by then, if not earlier, I should be in a much better place. Especially the attachment issues that I have with her. And we've talked about trust and security many, many times, so I do feel she'll live up to her word (mostly).

Maybe it's just having an actual end date that scares. And for sure how it ended with previous 2 therapist makes me think it's destined to happen with current T

Mine cut back her hours. It doesn't affect my appointment time, but I have a continued anxiety that some day soon she will announce more than a cutting-back, in short, her retirement. She hasn't said anything that would make me worry about it. I just worry because my attachment to her is strong. She is 66 and I am 58.

I don't know if anyone else relates to this, but in thinking about my t's eventual (yet unannounced) retirement, I realize the next t will be the first time I will be older than the t. I wasn't worried about her retirement (she's 60), only her kicking me out for being too much, until she reassuringly said she has no plans to retire in the near future. Great - now I worry! :-)

That sounds really upsetting. Even though realistically we know that 8 years is a long time, it can be pretty daunting to think about. I'm glad she kept her word, but I'm sorry that you have to go through this.