So I went to the third meeting this afternoon.
I felt shrunk, the main problems cast aside. While I felt the need to further talk, money is an issue and the therapist seemed rather cold to my request for a price reduction

It's not the first time I feel worse after therapy. It's the third meeting, and I felt horrible after the first one

I sense therapy is trying to implement a conscience into me, while I have no conscience for whatever actions I am willing to take, a disregard for the potential harm to others (as said by my therapist), while neglecting the fact that I have been mistreatrd and not treated properly, and had I been treated better I would not even need to go to therapy

Besides, I have no one to support my purposes so I end up being more demoralized - what's the point of living my life when no one is there for your causes which you want to celebrate at whatever win/lose situatiom you are?

I had a call with a hotline regarding something I want to accomplish and I told that person over 5 times what I want to achieve and how I want to achieve it. That idiot started asking me questions like rolling in a circle - I go straight forward like an arrow, and the person just ends up sniffing around that arrow like a freaking idiot

If I don't get what I want then I am already demoralized. There was one person who understood me better however. But some people can be very terrible helpers, and it's even more demoralizing especially when you want to get better and put trust in a person to help you out. But it seems no one is there for my causes

I will likely die but I do not care. I will know that no one ever wanted to serve my causes, not even my parents. You can easily see me as a potential selfish, but it's only because I have been denied SO much during my life, so much I could have accomplished have I been treated better by my family
I am not willing to compromise and nothing you say otherwise will make things better

[MoxieDoxie]

You write like you are from like London in the 1850's. Are you a writer?

[fille_folle]

Well, honestly, you're setting yourself up for failure when you decide it's your way or the highway. Life doesn't care what you've been through and it isn't fair. That's the unpleasant reality, and if you choose to wait around expecting for that to change, it ain't gonna happen. Saying that you basically shouldn't have to have a conscience because of your past is also a nonstarter.

[Amyjay]

Vibrating Obsidian, I can hear how frustrating and demoralizing this all is for you. What is is it that you are looking for, what is it that you want? Finding someone who can understand us is such a hard task. I don't know that anyone can ever fully understand another person. We are all products of our genes and our environments and there is so much diversity in the human experience that sometimes I wonder if we can only ever be complete strangers to each other.

Are you safe? Are other people safe?

[Sheffield]

I get the idea of circularity but not in the way you have portrayed it
Attitudes and behaviours similar to those you have expressed are what sends someone like myself into therapy
We commit to the process to strengthen our sense of self worth/ boundaries / introspection- etc which causes conflict within the person with different values which in turn sends them into therapy
When a therapist doesn’t fulfil their “requirements “ they terminate find another and post on forums like these which emotionally challenges /causes flashbacks which sends us to a therapist

Totally circular
Being told one has no conscience has no impact on those that have none-again circular

I sense therapy is trying to implement a conscience into me, while I have no conscience for whatever actions I am willing to take, a disregard for the potential harm to others (as said by my therapist), while neglecting the fact that I have been mistreatrd and not treated properly, and had I been treated better I would not even need to go to therapy

Being mistreated, abused, neglected doesn't entitle one to harm others.

Plenty of people have also been themselves victimised and justify the harm they do with "I was abused myself." Doesn't make it right. The logic of "I was treated badly so I have the right to treat others badly" starts a vicious cycle.

There are therapists who treat those who've harmed others. A key component of that is teaching the person to have empathy and take responsibility for the harm they've caused.

While one's own traumatic history deserves validation and compassion, that's completely different from enabling or justifying harm to others.

Well, this is what my therapist said. All I wanted was something to make up for what I've been through. Truly, all I told her is that money is a start. If she has more regard to people who abused and neglected me than to myself as a client who needs help, then she's off the door
One-sided compassion will never work, it has to be mutual
That's why I hate the idea of a conscience - it seems that the last therapist I went to would implement a message - "People are entitled to behave wrongly. You are not"
So off I went

Originally Posted by Nelly yallop

When a therapist doesn’t fulfil their “requirements “ they terminate find another and post on forums like these which emotionally challenges /causes flashbacks which sends us to a therapist

I know, right? I am personally getting tired of posting here. Not that this forum is bad, quite the contrary - it's great! The support has been beyond measure. However, it ultimately falls to professionals to treat a client accordingly. I wish those were matters I could consult with friends IRL, however most of the friends I ever met are not receiving treatment. So they're outside the experience of having to go to therapy to function so to say

Originally Posted by Nelly yallop

Totally circular
Being told one has no conscience has no impact on those that have none-again circular

What did you mean by that? Can you elaborate?

Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie

You write like you are from like London in the 1850's. Are you a writer?

Hah, thanks!
No, I am no writer but I read and write allot on a daily basis

I feel the therapist is controlling my decisions, especially those not having to do with treatment
I'm getting really tired of this. It's always "talk about it with your therapist"
Why do they have to bring everything to the lion's chambers? For a lion has no interest in you but themselves. I sense therapists are always preying on your life to make you dependent on them

[unaluna]

Wait a minute - if you DID find a t willing to conspire with you against your enemies and you succeeded, then wouldnt you both be susceptible to punishment by your proposed mental health police? You might have to pick a side, good or evil.

Originally Posted by unaluna

Wait a minute - if you DID find a t willing to conspire with you against your enemies and you succeeded, then wouldnt you both be susceptible to punishment by your proposed mental health police? You might have to pick a side, good or evil.

That wasn't surprising to get a comment like that
You do understand this topic is not a very easy one. I am nothing but a deliverer of the idea
No one would like it when someone hurtful is lurking around hurting others.
And just so you know, I suffer serious bowel issues because of what happened to me in the past. My suffering is without no evidence. However when I spoke about the idea, I spoke for the sake of others, because the time has come to realize there are sources to people's suffering which cause havoc on the economy and most importantly - the people alike

Sources have to be spotted and treated

I would like to elaborate regarding the idea of a conscience. I DO have a conscience, but it seems to have never worked, especially with my family and some other people I used to know. For example, I would offer a favor and they would insist it's fine. Cases would happen that one day a family member would call how selfish I am, whilst forgetting the favors I would offer at times. It seems they were ungrateful of me rather than I for them

Oh and by the way, regarding the mental health “police”, no one is talking about “good and evil” in this. We’re talking about harm. Harm is bad. Mental harm alike.
And forget about me in this. This doesn’t have to do with me, this has to do with everyone

Another thing - I am really glad to see people are taking interest in my topic. I will be more than happy to discuss it in my main thread or in private if one wishes!
https://forums.psychcentral.com/othe...hread-2-a.html