Are you guilty of the Last Minute Bomb?

I just did one today I think. I didn’t mean to but as I was leaving all my responsibilities just crashed on my head, and when he was like, have a good break! I was like, yeah if I don’t kill myself first!

..

Awkward pause

Well call me if you need me!!

And I felt bad for the LMB and I was like

nah I would handle (problem) in a better way I’m just stressed... sorry bye

Did you ever LMB? Do you care to share?

For reference

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/b...in-therapy?amp

I’ve definitely done that before. Especially before I learned to control my BOD behaviors...definitely a lot of testing there with LMBs...
Also with one exT, I felt like I could never leave session becuase I always felt strongly like I wanted to harm myself by the end of the session (this was not a good therapist...). So I’d drop the LMB frequently but it was a true “I actually fear for my safety” thing...she never knew how to help, though.

LOL no... my T would know I was joking though, we've talked at length of how I don't want to die, I'm actually afraid of it... so once I said something about jumping off a bridge and he smiled and I laughed, we knew it was a joke

I'm sure I've said something dumb as I left though, thats my anxious awkwardness.

Oh yes, yes I am.

"So I'll see you next week?"
"Dunno, the only reason I'm here today is because I forgot to cancel."
"Well let me know."
"I cannot believe you're letting me leave."
"Are you going to hurt yourself, Daisy?"
"Don't know yet. The day is young."
...
"Okay, see you next week then."

I've head them referenced as door knob confessionals. I've definitely done that before. When I realized I was doing that, I tried to stop. It's a hard habit to break. And I'm the last appointment of the day so my T generally will talk with me for a few minutes. I try really hard not to though because I don't want to abuse my T's generosity, and I want to learn to speak my mind without feeling rushed or like I'm out of options.

No, I read about that early on somewhere, and then tried very hard not to do it and not to get into such a habit. If there's something I need to talk about, it's mentioned within the first five minutes. I have gotten used to talking about uncomfortable things at a quite young age, maybe it has to do with that, but I do not feel that there is any benefit in me waiting and then getting kicked out even though I'd need support or similar.

I did once as there was a list of things and it's one I forgot to say but I told her I was comfortable talking about it next week, I just wanted to say it before we moved on. I wasn't looking to discuss it. I even apologised and said sorry for dropping this on you and running lol

I used to do it all the time - we would talk about nothing of importance until the last 10-15 minutes of the session and then all this word vomit would start spewing out. Or, even worse, I wouldn't talk about it at all during the session but would send a word vomit filled text afterwards. I think that's part of why my T is so upset with me and why he's treating me the way he is.

If I can ever convince myself to trust a new T, I need to make sure I tell them about my tendency to do this right away so we can plan for stopping it.

No, more the opposite. If I had something I wanted to bring up, I could not wait and would not let the T distract me, I wanted to jump straight in. I also did not know about this phenomenon until my last T brought it up saying how it is common and how I am different from many clients as I never do it. He actually told me this at the end of a session when I was halfway out, and I think he did this a few times himself, telling something significant in the last minute.

Also, sometimes I deliberately did not bring up something that I felt would be a bigger topic when there was not much time left and I told the T I would do so next time. One of them kept asking "why not now"? I am not very spontaneous in general and prefer to plan things and then execute them when I feel it is the right time.

From my own point of view, it is not trivial why people tend to do this - for me, I was usually way too eager to discuss important topics and, I imagine, would have been anxious bringing it up last minute and not having the opportunity to explain. So it is interesting to read how others do it and I still wonder why - can someone explain the motive? Is it fear of bringing up certain topics / procrastinating? Is it a way to try to raise/prolong the Ts attention beyond the session? Perhaps even make them worried (client stating there is a possibility of SH halfway out)? Something else?

I said bye...... Forver.. To t once.. It was a dark joke.. T said sarah.......

Other than that, no.. But I drop bombs via email/text. It's easier for me.. Then we discuss in person

No. I let the therapist or PDOC wind down the session with any comments they have.

I don't think I have ever said anything I considered to be a last minute bomb. If I ever did say anything as I was leaving, it would be because I wanted to say it aloud and wanted nothing else. I am not certain what things are considered bombs.

For me, sometimes it was because what I felt like I needed to say was critical of him or something he did and I was afraid of his reaction. Sometimes it was because I was hoping he would ask me about it and make it easier to bring it up in the first place. But...honestly most of the time it was because when we were chatting about nonsense, it felt nice and it felt safe - like two normal people who were having a normal conversation about normal things. He used to say us doing that was a form of therapy in and of itself...and I agreed with him because it was the only time all week that I didn't feel like complete ****.

I think for me, on your way out, it’s more casual conversation whereas the whole session can feel like you’re on a hot seat, or a spotlight, which makes it hard to get past your own defenses. The friendly chit chat is less threatening and then you blurt something out that you couldn’t when you were feeling more vulnerable

Yep, I have. It was often because there was something I wanted to talk about, then we ended up talking about other stuff, and it was like "Oh no, I didn't mention x!" Or it was something I was afraid to say, like the first time
I try to avoid doing this now by thinking beforehand of what I want to talk about, often bringing a list, and trying to watch the time so that I bring up any major thing with at least 20 minutes left (possibly 15). There still ends up being last-minute stuff at times, but I'm much better about it now. Also, I'm more comfortable with current T now (it's been 6 months), so I'm less afraid to bring up certain topics.

Of course, there's also the issue of a T causing a last-minute bomb sort of thing. Like when a few months ago, we were talking about stuff with my transference for my marriage counselor fading, it was about 3 minutes before end of session, and T asked, "Are you wondering if your transference has shifted to me?" Like...that's not an awkward question to leave on...I sorta answered it, then think I ended up e-mailing him...(When I brought it up later, he apologized for bringing it up at the end.)

Oh yeah - I'm pretty bad about doing this. If I have something that I really want to discuss, then it usually takes me the entire session to work up the nerve to mention it.

As a rule I don't do this, if I've got something to talk about I want to get to it right away. But last session we got in sort of an argument in the last ten minutes and I left pretty angry. So I got the experience of leaving something hanging and I don't like it at all.