[confused_77]

before i started therapy a few years ago I had a completely different idea of what it would be like. i had this idea of a therapist being able to read into my words and know what I need from life. I did genuinely think that if I explain everything in a detailed enough way she will come up with a solution. i was thinking she has a way to untangle my thoughts and tell me when I'm not being honest with myself. that's the problem i have a lot. i think that as part of a. defense mechanism I can't always face the truth, even if it's just for myself. I really did think she would be about to tell the difference.
part of my recent post and frustratuon comes from a fact that i feel alone in my battle now. not only does she not have a magic solution (which was silly to expect) but i am the one who has to do so the work.when you talk with rl people everyone always wants to share their opinion. this is so limited in therapy. it's not Ts job to have an option. I think i struggle to understand and accept that she won't care unless I do. the T in movies always get so invloved in a patients life, care for them more than they care for themselves.

I'm not sure I had any real idea what to expect. Therapy was an abstract thing that films mentioned. Being born in the 1960s in a very working class, poverty ridden area, of London I guess it never enterrd my mind.
As my addictions and acting out became more of a problem and I entered the mental health area I first got an idea that just maybe theres someone that could help me.
Yrs of unsuccessful useless psychiatry I thought perhaps this was it. As good as it got. Pseudo help, whilst I continued to disintegrate.
Then out of the blue, a hand unwittingly grabbed my collar and sat me on my current T's step.
I hoped this person could be there for me. Thsts as simple as my preconception was.
She was. Is. But that doesn't mean struggle isn't involved. It's a battled fought by both of us. Thsts the best we can hope for. But that is the answer. That and then wanting to fight with us. Session is full of that for me.

[amicus_curiae]

Hmm. Interesting that you’re both Brits. We (Americans; although I was, for years, a student in the UK) generally believe that your mental health system is better than ours.

I never had time to have any expectations of therapy. But ‘talk therapy’ became my method of staying sane (but probably not all of the time — meds, ECT, other means, too).

Now I think of therapy as a long conversation with my shrink-therapist. My memory is shot so I take (poorly scribbled) notes. I’ve had instances of real epiphanies with various shrinks. And I have been silent with others. I knew a long time back that my disorders could be controlled but not cured. I’m not totally in control at the moment. I have had the same symptoms for such a long time. For years I tried to kill my impulsive behaviors but I failed. I was good at hiding the symptoms, though. Well, not really good. They had a way of leaking out? A way that my wayward behavior became noticed?

My struggles to love and be loved never had happy endings.

I think that I will tell my new shrink that I’m coping but uncertain of how much longer I can continue the pretence.

My mind is not what it once was.

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

I expected Ts to give way more advice than they usually do as well. I also have to say, though, that I once actually met with a T who did give out advice all the time. She didn't know anything about my family situation, yet she 'knew' exactly what I should tell my mom in a certain situation and when I said 'well, my mom will just say X as a reply', she told me I couldn't know that (hint, my mom actually did say X after I said what that T suggested).

I also expected them to be way more into meds. I went into therapy and was expecting to be on anti-depressants or benzos within a few weeks. I was very surprised that my T told me he didn't prescribe benzos if possible, and that there was actually no meds that I could take to help me at all... (not saying that's always the case, just not what I expected for me personally)

[amicus_curiae]

Originally Posted by ChickenNoodleSoup

I expected Ts to give way more advice than they usually do as well. I also have to say, though, that I once actually met with a T who did give out advice all the time. She didn't know anything about my family situation, yet she 'knew' exactly what I should tell my mom in a certain situation and when I said 'well, my mom will just say X as a reply', she told me I couldn't know that (hint, my mom actually did say X after I said what that T suggested).

I also expected them to be way more into meds. I went into therapy and was expecting to be on anti-depressants or benzos within a few weeks. I was very surprised that my T told me he didn't prescribe benzos if possible, and that there was actually no meds that I could take to help me at all... (not saying that's always the case, just not what I expected for me personally)

In re: Benzodiazepines

I’ve been taking Xanax for 31 years. My PCP writes the scripts because every shrink that I’ve seen in the past decade has refused to write that script.

Is your therapist an MD — able to write scripts?

My motor neurons are hurting.

What are your diagnoses?

[ruh roh]

I think therapy has hardened me more than anything, lowered my hopes and expectations for life. I am shut down and do not care anymore what happens next.

[DP_2017]

i had a therapist in my teens, but i was forced to go and quit after a few sessions. so going back many years later, i thought i'd hate it again and regret it. i thought he was just gonna be another annoying person who asked a billion questions and gave no real compassion or anything

i was wrong, he's been amazing, and helped me with being comfortable with someone, and trusting someone, things i don't do easily. I've become assertive with him which I'm not with anyone else. he leads sessions but he doesn't just ask things, shares stories or whatever. tries to make things easier for me. doesn't push me. its been amazing having someone actually listen and make me feel like i matter

however, i also thought once i was seeing him, a few sessions in, that i could avoid the attachment, i general i keep people distant and kept seeing that happen online so i convinced myself, it wont happen to me... now I'm strongly attached and it has me very spooked by emotions i feel etc. this is the main reason i do regret going back, because i hate feeling this way for someone who basically forgets about me once i leave. its literally the worst....

so for me as usual, my mind made me think things differently than they actually are but some good, some not.

[maybeblue]

I thought it would help faster. I expected that they would know how to fix my problems. I have found therapists who do a lot of advice giving and a lot of lecturing and explaining what they think is wrong with me. But it turns out that is the exact wrong way to deal with me. Once I realized I was the one that was going to have to do most if not all of the work things went better. Now I know that I prefer therapists who will give advice and opinions if asked, but otherwise mostly shut up and empathize with me.

[winterblues17]

I went in with one issue in particular, realised over time I had many many more below the surface. Stuff I've either disregarded as unimportant or buried over the years.
This can be hard sometimes like opening a can of worms, but I've kinda connected a lot of the dots and the reasons why I have some of the issues I have.
I wasn't too clued up on anxiety and depression issues and even though it can be very scary at times, mainly over my fears of vulnerability, it is proving very eye opening, I feel like I'm learning a lot about myself and life, and I'm slowly progressing.
Saying that it's definitely stop and start, and sometimes I feel the desire to run and bury again, but ultimately I know for my own sanity almost I need to keep fighting my fears and keep going to this amazing T that has stood by my the whole time.

Also like DP said I didn't expect to attach so strongly, I've never really had or wanted that much and I do struggle with this. I just need to remind myself that I have at least attached to someone that has so far been positive and stable! Although it's hard to think it's only one way feelings.

[cool09]

I've always had high expectations for psychologists and they've never had answers or offer any feedback.

[stopdog]

I could never figure out how their idiotic machinations were supposed to be useful and I expected them to explain how answering XX question would help me with what I wanted helped. The woman's failure/refusal/inability (depending upon who you asked) to do so frustrated me and without having a reason to answer XX - why would I do it? So I was surprised about the failure or refusal to be able to explain how it was that what was going on was supposed to help. It did not help -their silence on the matter did not lead me to magical insight. It left me frustrated until I put a stop to the woman speaking at all.

Originally Posted by amicus_curiae

Hmm. Interesting that you’re both Brits. We (Americans; although I was, for years, a student in the UK) generally believe that your mental health system is better than ours.

I never had time to have any expectations of therapy. But ‘talk therapy’ became my method of staying sane (but probably not all of the time — meds, ECT, other means, too).

Now I think of therapy as a long conversation with my shrink-therapist. My memory is shot so I take (poorly scribbled) notes. I’ve had instances of real epiphanies with various shrinks. And I have been silent with others. I knew a long time back that my disorders could be controlled but not cured. I’m not totally in control at the moment. I have had the same symptoms for such a long time. For years I tried to kill my impulsive behaviors but I failed. I was good at hiding the symptoms, though. Well, not really good. They had a way of leaking out? A way that my wayward behavior became noticed?

My struggles to love and be loved never had happy endings.

I think that I will tell my new shrink that I’m coping but uncertain of how much longer I can continue the pretence.

My mind is not what it once was.

Our health care is better. Well, not better. Just free at the point of use. Except mental health care.