[Thalassophile]

Ugh.... my T has told me that he is going to be retiring next year... I had kind of guessed it was going to happen in the next year or two and hadn't actually planned to be still in therapy then but ho-hum here I still am and here it is now happenning...

Has anyone else had a T retire and have a good experience with the ending? It's a long way off yet I know so have lots of time to process and work on the goodbye etc but still.

For a bit of background I've been with him for about 3 years and built up a good therapy relationship I think. I've had intense transference for him most of that time which was mostly sexual. Thankfully the intensity of all that seems to have subsided somewhat in recent months. In it's place has left almost what I can only describe as a deep love (or caring) about the human being in the room that has listened to me, heard me and seen me.

I guess I am just feeling a bit sad that there is now an end date and wondering if anyone else has some positive stories to share.

[stopdog]

The woman retired this February and the second one is retiring in April. The second one just told me this week.
It has been fine.

[Thalassophile]

Originally Posted by stopdog

The woman retired this February and the second one is retiring in April. The second one just told me this week.
It has been fine.

She retiring this April and only told you this week? I'm glad that you have found it to be fine. I would be devastated if he only gave me that much notice. Stupid attachment stuff bleugh...

[stopdog]

I guess it is a month's notice and due to a personal family sudden situation. I was using the appointments to talk and write about grief. So I was not all that concerned about the actual therapist. More it is an annoyance because I am not finished with grief.

[Wonderfalls]

Mine also told me a year in advance. We talked about it off and on. The saddest thing at first was that I had so many new things to tell him. Now I just miss him generally. None of the therapists I've had have been near him. One piece of advice. Don't put off too long finding a new one; you may have to go through several to find someone. He was also my psychiatrist and those I had to make appointments with months in advance.

I had started with a new therapist a few years back. We worked together very well for about 6 months then one day she sprang it on me she would be retiring. I felt abandoned but I also knew she was very tired and working was difficult for her. I didn’t go to my next session or the next because it was easier for me to leave rather than she leave me.
I am sorry your t is retiring, it brings up so many painful emotions. I hope you can process the loss with your t or another t

[Travelinglady]

Mine told me she was retiring only a week before she retired. She suggested another therapist, but I didn't like her. But it's worked out well.

[Thalassophile]

Originally Posted by Wonderfalls

Mine also told me a year in advance. We talked about it off and on. The saddest thing at first was that I had so many new things to tell him. Now I just miss him generally. None of the therapists I've had have been near him. One piece of advice. Don't put off too long finding a new one; you may have to go through several to find someone. He was also my psychiatrist and those I had to make appointments with months in advance.

Thanks for your response. I had hoped to not spend so long in therapy (who does though) and in my mind had a belief that I would be okay enough to have finished with him by next year anyway so hadn't planned on looking for a new T but we shall see.

[Thalassophile]

Originally Posted by Travelinglady

Mine told me she was retiring only a week before she retired. She suggested another therapist, but I didn't like her. But it's worked out well.

I would be devastated if he only gave me a week notice. I'm glad you had a better experience though and it worked out well for you. I'm trying to think back to before I got attached to him and I believe I would have been okay with a few weeks notice back then but right now I'm glad he has given me more.

[Thalassophile]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

I had started with a new therapist a few years back. We worked together very well for about 6 months then one day she sprang it on me she would be retiring. I felt abandoned but I also knew she was very tired and working was difficult for her. I didn’t go to my next session or the next because it was easier for me to leave rather than she leave me.
I am sorry your t is retiring, it brings up so many painful emotions. I hope you can process the loss with your t or another t

Thanks, Mona. That must have been difficult for you. Did you just leave and not speak to her again after she told you then?

[Anne2.0]

Not a T retirement, but my first T ended up taking a job where I worked (not in the exact department but we would have some work overlaps in the future). I had seen him for about 2 years. I had a few months' notice, but I found I wanted to start seeing someone else right away. I switched to a female T and she was even better for me. I terminated therapy with her after about three years.

I was attached to my first T but I also think it was easy for me to move on. I felt energized in my therapy process with the new T, kind of like reinventing myself as a T client, having the chance to both start over and start anew (not the same thing) was helpful to me. I didn't just go over old ground with her, I started right where I was.