Survivors of Unethical Therapy

Posting a link to another thread:

How to expose a corrupt and unethical Therapist and or Healthcare Professional

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

When I went into therapy, and for a very long time afterwards, I was so deep in my own difficulties that I could not see when/if the difficulties in "the relationship" and the therapy were the therapist's.

I'm not sure what a solution for this is, for current and future clients, if therapy continues as usual, as it currently seems to be. Maybe a set of how-to's, like HD's above? The situation for me was not so much blatant unethics, violating the code, but the general incompetence and ignorance of many professionals in diagnosing and knowing what to do to help me -- causing additional harm, it now seems to me, in the process, because of their lack of knowledge. But I couldn't tell or see it well at the time.

It's a paradox , because I had good therapy I was able to see when the problems and issues were someone else's. How do you get out of that conundrum when you've never experienced good therapy ? There is also the risk in going to another therapist that they say " It can't have been the therapist it must have been you " ( we've seen that ) or we get the reality from good T's who confirm this wasn't OK. But there's no guarantee , so it's quite understandable that people don't risk it.

I have just experienced something recently in therapy that I want to share.

I am struggling in University as I was recently retraumatized by trying to write an essay about my trauma, in addition the therapist I am seeing is displaying red flags which also have been triggering me a bit. I am able to discern red flags from evidence, and I have let my therapist know how I feel.

Recently she recommended a possible medical withdrawal from University (for the semester) which she could fill out. I said no at the time.

I went to see her the other day and mentioned this again and said I decline the offer for medical withdrawal at this time, but if I do not improve, I may have to revisit her offer.

She said I would have to rebook an appointment before the withdrawal cut off day, that I would have to fill out an assessment of my mental status (like scales of 1 - 5 of a broad range of symptoms).

The she said this.... That she believes what I am experiencing is PTSD (which is true). BUT - that she believes my initial trauma in therapy was valid, but each subsequent experience after is a product of hypervigilance rather than fact.

I was absolutely floored.

For one - I haven't shared my trauma with my therapist. She hasn't allowed me to share nor shown any indication that she wants to know.

Two - how can someone base this assumption on a trauma she knows little about?

Three - she wasn't there. How could she know if this was merely hypervigilance?

This is an example of horrible and ineffective therapy. It is sanism and mentalism, victim blaming and shaming and now I am genuinely afraid what she will write if I do require a medical withdrawal.

In addition, she said that it is my fault that therapy is not moving forward - because my past trauma is getting in the way of treatment. I am so confused. How can someone with legitimate trauma in therapy be blamed for therapy roadblocks if they are continuing to bring themselves into therapy? Lol. It is crazymaking.

This is all breaking my heart. Yet again - met with resistance.

I know the difference between red flags and evidence. I know what hypervigilance is and I experience it, especially in therapy. But if I run away from a therapist due to red flags it is because they are unhelpful and incapable of understanding. Not a good fit. Doesn't mean I think they're trying to harm me.

I look for evidence, in my case it was health records, not red flags.

This therapist is no longer going to work with me and I will fight so hard to avoid medical withdrawal.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

I'm so sorry, HD. I don't trust any of them anymore. There may be some decent ones out there, it's just not worth it to me to try anymore.

Are you OK on your own? Or can you request, or look for, another therapist to help you through this time?

Fighting hard to avoid medical withdrawal means. . .it seems to me. . .some sources of support? We are here, of course. Will that help? Will that be enough?

If the facts go against you, and medical withdrawal begins to seem an option -- there is no shame in retreating, to fight another day.

She said I would have to rebook an appointment before the withdrawal cut off day, that I would have to fill out an assessment of my mental status (like scales of 1 - 5 of a broad range of symptoms).

The she said this.... That she believes what I am experiencing is PTSD (which is true). BUT - that she believes my initial trauma in therapy was valid, but each subsequent experience after is a product of hypervigilance rather than fact.

I was absolutely floored.

For one - I haven't shared my trauma with my therapist. She hasn't allowed me to share nor shown any indication that she wants to know.

Two - how can someone base this assumption on a trauma she knows little about?

Three - she wasn't there. How could she know if this was merely hypervigilance?

This is an example of horrible and ineffective therapy. It is sanism and mentalism, victim blaming and shaming and now I am genuinely afraid what she will write if I do require a medical withdrawal.

In addition, she said that it is my fault that therapy is not moving forward - because my past trauma is getting in the way of treatment.

I have no words other than, "No, no, no,no!

Thanks,
HD7970ghz[/QUOTE]

given their specialty knowledge in psychology and abuse and grooming do you think abusive and/or sexually predatory therapists are more likely to be self-aware that they are abusing than other abusers without that education and experience and first hand look at the trauma that stuff causes?

Absolutely for mine. It was like she had a manual. It creeps me out every time I tell people that she was a PsychD, and was also certified to work with sex offenders ( separate certification in my state.)

Honestly, I think sometimes it was fun for her. And she was so well equipped to trigger me, having explored it all in therapy. We had talked a lot about why I feel trapped in a hug, and I even brought it up afterwards, the first time she deliberately held me even though I asked her to let go. But she continued to do it, holding me just long enough for panic to set in. She laughed when I brought up again.

Tes in my experience with abuse it seemed my abuser was having a great time riling me up. he would smirk.

I just don’t see how they couldn’t be aware that they are abusing if they understand grooming and trauma bonding so well...

She was totally aware. It took lots of subsequent therapy and personal work to get to where I understand this. I didn't want to believe it. The damage to me was collateral in her process of meeting her own needs.

when i told my T about a guy who was treating me bad and intimidating me he said i maybe seem like “prey” (i am passive and shy)

and now I am thinking he may actually be abusive and if he is then he has identified me as prey and I don’t see how he couldn’t know that he is preying, if that’s what he is doing.

For me is been a struggle to accept that I will never understand her motivations, or how she thought about what she did. There are times I process events with my current therapist, and realize I know more than I think I do. When I list all the things she did, like for the complaint I submitted, the facts reveal not necessarily a predator, but someone seeking what she wanted, even if it was at the expense of her ethics, her practice and my wellbeing. I don't think I was so much prey for her as good "raw material" that she could use to play a role in her fantasy life.

She eventually realized she miscalculated. I don't mold as well as she thought.

Yeah if this guy is anything it’s a sexual predator I think who has “affairs”, I don’t think he wants anything beyond a feeling of power

He has pointed out that I am prey and have been groomed by other men so it scares me if he is doing this but I trusted him for so long when he acted normal or seemed to be. Ugh dunno.

I just wanted to add to this, (In regard to the bold parts above).

I went back to my therapist and told her how I felt. I was shaking like a leaf. She said she didn't mean to say that my trauma did not happen. I felt like it may have been genuine. I am willing to give her another chance because I do believe there are good therapists out there. I reiterated the intensity of my trauma. That I am not alone and that I just want to heal.

I told her about some of the red flags I have seen in my interactions with her. I told her about my C-PTSD and went into a bit of detail about my trauma in therapy. She seemed receptive to some of it.

We both agreed that my prior trauma in therapy is going to make it difficult. So now the goals of therapy is to maintain stability in University as well as work through the trauma of therapy itself.

A form of exposure therapy in and of itself.

Perhaps this therapist can help me. I will keep up to date with session information.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

Absolutely.

Therapists can use their knowledge about the human condition to help and or harm. What determines which way they swing depends entirely on their own individual moral compass... It is a choice. There are no safeguards to stop it from happening and there is very little chance that it can be proven.

Pretty disturbing, right?

Those with positions of power simply swear an oath to first do no harm. Aside from that, it is an open door to abuse with impunity.

This is why therapy is inherently unsafe. This is the point some of us are trying to make in these threads. There needs to be a discussion about these issues. It is time.

Professionals have told me (off the record) that each organization has their own policies surrounding alteration of medical records. (Considering that this behavior in and of itself, is both unethical and illegal in some cases, it makes you wonder why it is so normalized...) Some allow it within a certain time frame, while others simply need approval from supervisors. Either way, it can be done and it is done often.

So where are the ethics?

Considering therapists know all the intimate details about their clients, and considering they are trained in psychology - is it not fair to ponder the potential damage they can do if they were to use our vulnerabilities against us? Whether they groom us, or simply enjoy triggering us intentionally and claim it is just exposure therapy - there are many different ways therapists can abuse us and get away with it. To expect a therapist NOT to do these things is nothing more than blind-trust, yet almost all of us have meandered into therapy at some point in our lives - having believed the illusion that, "therapy is a safe place."

Therapy is no different than the real world. In fact, one could argue it is actually far worse because it sets up a power imbalance where the one in power also has little to no accountability. It is mind boggling to think how many people go in without having been informed of the potential damaging effects that it can have.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

I can relate to the bold. We learn to love our abusers because while they are grooming and abusing us in covert ways - the red flags are not indications of evidence so much as suspicions. We don't want to believe it is happening because we crave safe attachment to our therapists, thus, we give them benefit of the doubt. Heck, even in the event that we know for a fact they are abusing us - some of us are too scared to stay and too scared to go; so we do nothing. We get stuck in trauma bonds and act out the fawn or freeze response - which makes us even more vulnerable and potentially exacerbates the abuse dynamics. Add to this problem that in a lot of cases, our therapists are the only sense of connection and safety we have to the human race. When we are threatened with danger, we seek out support. Can't go back to our abusive families, tried to seek out help from friends but they don't understand. A lot of us unfortunately go back to our therapists for help, despite the fact that the danger we feel is coming from them... This is the cyclical problem that surfaces in many abusive therapeutic alliances. I bet there are many people who relate to this.

And yet so few talk about it, as if it never happened...

Such a sad thing to imagine that we crave safety in interpersonal connection so badly - that we are willing to subject ourselves to such insidious abuse.

We all speak this language because we have experienced it. Everything you have written is like reading a journal entry. Can you all say the same? Something tells me you can. Rest in knowing that your perceptions have been attuned to reading others, and while sometimes we may be wrong about the particulars - we are almost always right that potential danger is lurking in our midst.

It is so hard to go through this stuff. Trust your gut.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

Recovery from bad therapy are Hobson's choices. Either:

. My therapists weaponized their diagnoses and assessments against me and were unreliable liars...or

. I was unable to discern reality.

. I'm foregoing my one chance for a happier life because I'm leaving them....or
. They were abusing their authority in an attempt to retain me.

. Their scorn, screaming and snideness was "for my benefit" or...

. They were like anyone else employing scorn, screaming and snideness to assert dominance.

. They had my best interest at heart...or

. They were dishonestly mislabeling venom as beneficence


. They were wise, magnificent life experts...or

. I was a gullible fool to see them as authorities