Someone in Therapist's Personal Life Sitting in Waiting Room

No, it isn't appropriate. It is a violation of confidentiality. Even if you went back in after leaving, it's not ok and it's on the T to know that, not the client. A T should meet people from their personal life outside the building or at another location to avoid situations like this. I've been to a couple of offices personally over the past 30 years (including home offices) and work in one now. I have never come across this situation.

I don't get it. How is my confidentiality violated? Just for the fact that I am having to wait or even go through a waiting room my anonymity is revealed visually.

Many years ago, my therapist and her family walked into a very small local restaurant where I was dining and I was there first. Should she have left with her four hungry kids?

If you could help me with the particular ethical faux pas of my privacy being violated. The therapist is not giving my name, social security number, and address to the person (as far as I know) or even introducing me to this interloper.

My standby therapist restrooms are outside her office. I ended up in the restroom with her (more than once). We entered the stalls at the same times. I had a long stream, she had a long stream and we flushed at the same time. (I could not get myself to be embarrassed even after all I've read on PC.) I got to the sink first. Someone else entered the restroom as my therapist offered to take the key back. I can either be happy she was doing something nice, an act of human kindness or be pissed she revealed knowing me to this stranger (She could have know the person). I appreciated the act of kindness. For me, therapy was learning to deal with uncomfortable situations as opposed to avoiding things. Not dealing with life situations was the content of my life before good therapy.

My previous therapist worked out of her house and if someone had the curtain open they could clearly see me coming or going, including the neighbors. A neighbor, who I believe is Northern European, saw me walking one day on my therapist street. We made small talk the best we could. She walked a little with me and when we got to my therapist house she circled her finger in the air pointing to the side of her head (the sign some use to mean crazy). I then stopped, did the same gesture and then waved goodbye and walked into my therapist gate. I chuckled then, but find hilarity in it now. I do not want to be a shadow figure when it comes to therapy. My opinions only.

"Many years ago, my therapist and her family walked into a very small local restaurant where I was dining and I was there first. Should she have left with her four hungry kids?"

The second one I saw recently said that is exactly what she would have done (she gave examples when I first hired her and stated quite firmly that if she/she and her family ever came to anything/place I was at -she would leave immediately). Not on my bidding, but on her end of it.

I guess whatever floats the GODS' boats.

If I was a therapist my kids would have been pissed and I would certainly have to explain why to them, thus breaking confidentiality. My family would come first in that situation.

I don't think the therapist did anything wrong in this instance.

I don't think the therapist did anything wrong. If there's a lobby downstairs that he could have waited in, that would have been the smarter choice. But for all you know, he was waiting there, you left, and she called him and told him to come up while she finished off a few things.

If she's an otherwise good therapist, I would talk to her about this. I think the world has moved in this direction where we now have an expectation that everyone constantly think about how every little thing could affect others, but it's not possible for anyone to hold all that in their head and still get through day to day life, IMHO.

However, it is realistic to talk to individual people (i.e. your therapist) about what upsets us, and see if they can accommodate. That person can then either adapt/explain why they can't/won't accommodate us. We can then choose whether we want to continue the relationship.

That said, I think me realising that no one would ever meet my needs perfectly, but that I could still keep them in my life if they brought positive things to it on balance, has been key to my becoming happier over the years.

Because your presence in their office identifies you as their client. What if you coincidentally also knew the person waiting for the T? It's just to protect people from this kind of thing. Out in the real world is different, of course and they can obviously go wherever they want. However that is why a T should never say hello to a client outside the office, since again, doing so identifies you as a client. The office is a controlled environment where clients are "safe" from this possibility. Its much worse if the T did this during office hours, so this might have just been an accident, especially if she thought you had left.

Of course a therapist wouldn't have to leave a restaurant. If they do that's they're own rule and nothing to do with confidentiality. That only comes into play if they interact with you, which they should not. If you say hello to them first they can say hello back, but they shouldn't acknowledge you first. That would be the confidentiality issue.

Is this an emotional issue or an ethical issue?
I'd say it is emotional. If the therapist allowed this person to walk in on your session then yes, thats unethical.
But seeing them on your way our? Not unethical. Just brings up a lot of uncomfortable emotions.
My T works from a room upstairs in her home.
As I walk down the stairs, her living room has a door with glass panels. I can see who's in the living room and they can see me.
I feel a little discomfort on the occasion I've moved my eyes to the left to peek. But it's just discomfort. It's not an ethical issue.

It could have been their SO picking them up from work and that is ok

Most of my therapists, since 2003-2004, have been in large associates groups and they enter and exit the buildings by hidden passageways. I did, however, accidentally meet my therapist’s wife, once. It was a comfortable, quite normal, quick introduction. Didn’t rattle me at all.

However. Again.

I would be disturbed to learn that I was sitting across from my therapist’s wife in the waiting room. The waiting room is a kind of sacred spot where I expect that some people might even be sicker than me. Everyone is overly polite. We glance and sometimes diagnose others by their appearances.

No PDA between my therapist and his wife. That would have been disturbing.

I don't think it is inappropriate but for me it would be uncomfortable.

I don’t know if this is still the teaching, but like sd’s therapist the ethical protocol was for the therapist to leave the restaurant, party or event when they came upon a client. I imagine many therapists still practice like sd’s. I personally think it’s ridiculous.

I believe as mouse said, OP’s situation is not a situation of ethics, but one of uncomfortableness. I try to use my own therapy to get comfortable with issues that bring me distress so that I can live more comfortably in our world. That’s just me.

i see nothing inappropriate with this. If it indeed was a person known to them and it indeed was after business hours what is wrong about this? Are you so sure this was not a patient in the first place? It would not be unheard of for a therapist to fit someone in at the end of the day for an emergency. My own psychiatrist has done this for me.

Now, you may think this a strange attitude for me to have what with my frequent comments insisting on nothing less than a professional relationship between doctor and patient. But in my book there is nothing unprofessional about this. This has no impact on the relationship you have with this practitioner. Now, I am guessing you feel threatened by this; so, by all means let the therapist know your difficulty with what happened. They may have never even thought about how such an action might have repercussions.

Your time was over. Your appointment had ended. You are the one who returned to the building. They did nothing inappropriate. It would be better to ask yourself why it means so much to you that you may have seen someone from your therapist's personal life? What is behind these feelings? Why does it bother you so?

Did it upset you to see them holding hands? What exactly made you feel "unsafe?"

I see nothing wrong with this person meeting the T at the T's work site . . . especially since it was at the end of the workday. Sounds pretty normal to me.