I have things I want to talk about in therapy, but I think it all sounds to bizarre to believe. I’m worried T won’t believe me and will think I’m delusional.

So, I skipped over some details during intake that I’m just reluctant to talk about.

Do you feel this way?

[LabRat27]

I worry that my story about my first therapist and what she did and what happened is too bizarre to believe, and I worry that therapists will think I'm making it up or exaggerating.
I think they're more likely to believe that it's a very distorted view of events or that I'm delusional than that it's completely knowingly fabricated, which makes it more difficult, because even if they believe that I believe that it's true they don't necessarily trust my perception.

I also worry they won't believe me about my father's emotional abuse because I have a lot of difficulty with being able to explain it, and so my first therapist and the court and the family therapist all sided with my father and didn't believe me about the abuse and bought into his gaslighting.

I tell the therapist these concerns when I tell them about these issues during intake. I explain that I understand that it doesn't sound believable and that I would be skeptical if someone else told me this stuff.

Then I leave it up to the therapeutic relationship and building trust. Over time, my therapist hopefully sees that I'm reasonable and fair when I describe events and that I'm not telling crazy stories all the time, and they trust what I tell them (hopefully).

I asked my therapist if he would ever tell an outright lie to me if he thought it was in my best interest, and he said he couldn't imagine a situation in which he would do that. At another point I asked if he believed me about these things and he said yes. So I believe that he believes me, which is really important to me.
But I waited some time before I asked that question, because I knew he would be unlikely to completely believe me during the first session, because he would have to be incredibly naive to do so.

[maybeblue]

Yes. I have felt that way. The thing is that often abusers use the "no one will believe you" line to keep you from talking. Or they will seem so reasonable and wonderful when someone else is around that you believe that nobody will believe the way they are when you are alone. So if you have any emotional or sexual or physical abuse history you are likely to have this belief.

I guess my way of handling it is to be as honest as possible. I say things like "I might have interpreted this wrong because of my depression/anxiety" or I say "I am absolutely sure this happened." Since my therapist has heard both, I think he probably believes me even when it is weird.

Absolutely. I think a lot of people share that feeling and that's ok. You don't have to share everything all at once. Take your time. I think Ts expect that to a certain extent. I've been with mine for 2 years and I am still slow to share things for fear of rejection or disbelief. I trust her, or I'm trying to trust her, but it's a process. Especially for trauma/abuse backgrounds.

Let then earn your trust first and let your T learn to trust you as well... it's a process and rushing it will probably do more harm than good.

[mcl6136]

Yes I feel this way. And having been in therapy a few years with this T, it's getting better, but as I repeat some of the (barely believable) things, my T is less and less likely to just let them go and not question them, check me for details and so forth.

I feel that in some respects, the T is trusting me less and I'm being more and more accountable for my part in some of these scenarios. Which is highly uncomfortable. Im
going to post about this elsewhere.....sorry for the hijack....

I can understand your reluctance to talk because I have the same kind of thing happening myself.

During my intake interview I too glossed over some details. As a result, I'm really worried that my therapist doesn't have a clear picture of what I'm seeing them about since they don't have those details.

A couple times I have tried to clarify, but I find it too difficult to say aloud. In the past I've shared some of those details anonymously in online support groups, but have run into people telling me it didn't happen, it's not possible, or even reacting with strong hostility at my past having challenged preconceived notions they held. As if any of them have the slightest clue what I experienced since they weren't there and don't even know me.

There were a couple times when I tried to get my therapist to share what they think I've told them, but they said even less than I did so I have no idea if they understood or not. It's important to me that they realize what I'm trying to work through but if they come at me with the "Didn't happen" response that will just utterly destroy all the trust they've built up.

There is also something I haven't been able to tell them when they ask about my goals and what I think I need. It feels like the key to my recovery, but I can't talk about it with them.

It's frustrating. Therapy is portrayed as a place where you can reveal everything about yourself in a safe environment, but at the end of the day we're still just two people talking. Maybe if we had robot therapists it would be easier

Being delusional is a particular mental health experience with additional associated symptoms and presentations. Assuming you are not psychotic, it is highly unlikely that your therapist would think you were delusional. If you are concerned that you won't be believed by your therapist, that is a different matter which you can discuss with your therapist. Worrying about being believed versus being actively delusional are two very different states and your therapist will know this.

[Wild Coyote]

I think it is healthy to honor boundaries in disclosing information, especially within a new relationship, including one with a new therapist. Both parties must learn to trust one another, which takes time.

I have had issues I did not share with my therapist in 20 years. Why? He had proven himself trustworthy. I have periodic disability reviews and they ask for records. Some things are none of their business. So, in some ways, these reviews mess with my therapy.


WC