[here today]

This article:

http://www.apa.org/pubs/books/interv...5-lambert.aspx

suggests that a major reason some clients get worse in therapy is that they feel (or are) rejected, misunderstood, uncared for, or neglected in some way by the therapist.

If anything like that has happened to you, what did you do? How did things turn out?

[DP_2017]

Rejected, yes, 2x in one month. It was hell but we talked about it, and worked it out. We are in a good place now. I've learned that talking to him about anything like this is vital. Risky sure, but very important. I have to keep trusting him.

[Anastasia~]

Originally Posted by here today

This article:

http://www.apa.org/pubs/books/interv...5-lambert.aspx

suggests that a major reason some clients get worse in therapy is that they feel (or are) rejected, misunderstood, uncared for, or neglected in some way by the therapist.

If anything like that has happened to you, what did you do? How did things turn out?

I couldn't access the link. But, yes, I was terminated, and was misunderstood. He had no idea of how to help me, and made things worse. I stayed until my PT terminated me, and then went through a horrific time. And now I am all the better for it.

[stopdog]

Yes. The woman mocked me and then blamed me for it. Talking about it did not help at all. I quit using the woman for anything other than to sit there silently while I talked about my sick, dying, dead person. I quit when she started talking again because I just did not feel like bothering to point out her wrongedness any more or to enforce the no talking which she had agreed to. Then she retired.

[here today]

Originally Posted by Anastasia~

I couldn't access the link. But, yes, I was terminated, and was misunderstood. He had no idea of how to help me, and made things worse. I stayed until my PT terminated me, and then went through a horrific time. And now I am all the better for it.

Thanks, I fixed the link, I hope.

Thanks also for your story.

[LonesomeTonight]

I selected "we talked about it and could NOT work it out" because that's the most recent experience I had. That was with my marriage counselor, he did something that hurt me (asked me to reduce contact), then didn't seem to understand why it upset me. The way he handled things just made me lost the trust in him. We tried to talk it out for a few sessions (spread out over the course of a few months) and a long phone call, but it just felt like it couldn't go back to how it was. So I (and H) opted to terminate.

However, in the past, there were a couple times when I felt rejected by MC where we *did* work it out and kept seeing him. The same with ex-T (ending with her wasn't about rejection/being disrespected, but more that I was still having various issues after seeing her for 6 years, so thought I needed a new perspective, which led me to current T).

[mostlylurking]

I selected "We didn't talk about it and I stopped going to therapy," though it was more like my T refused to be truthful with me, and I had no choice but to stop because he was using termination language and stonewalling me otherwise.

I only once felt rejected by my T prior to this, which was when I emailed him and he did not reply at all. I felt ashamed like I'd done something wrong and resolved never to email him again (a resolution I broke right away). I didn't discuss it with him at the time but when I mentioned it months later he was surprised, and asked when it was, and went and looked in his email and found it and read it. He said it was a really nice email (it was -- I was thanking him for something) and he has no idea why he didn't write back. I wish I'd brought it up earlier.

I actually had very effective therapy up until the time my T decided he wasn't qualified to see me anymore (...or something).

[velcro003]

No, I eventually "rejected" my last T because I wasn't getting anywhere, and my anxiety wasn't lessening. This was after 5.5 years.

My current T, if i were to quit, it would be due to me and my feelings of hopelessness. She is very well aware of how I feel not helped by therapy,but I also think that is due to my personal "self."

With my first therapist. I often felt rejected, disrespected, put down, and stupid.
I was always getting worse with her. We kept continuing therapy though.
She was very abusive.
She also promised she would never leave me, never abandon me.
The one day out of the blue she did it anyway.
It took me nearly ten years to get over that.

[awkwardlyyours]

Other - Yes, we talked about it and sorta kinda worked it out.....maybe.

I was as a teenager. In the last 25 years of intermittent therapy with four therapist I have never been rejected or disrespected.

One therapist I saw years ago kept touching me despite our sessions being largely about my fear of proximity and being touched. The contact was getting worse each week to the point where it was constant throughout the sessions and was moving towards the more inappropriate. I never confronted her about it... just stopped going.

Another therapist I only saw one time because while collecting my personal history to know what to work on when we got to CSA he made a joke about it at my expense. I found that to be really low-class and sadistic of him.

[satsuma]

I said No, although I know there have been times when I felt rejected or disrespected. But we worked it out and my T was always respectful and worked hard to show that he was committed to still working with me when we worked it out. So my overall evaluation "in the cold light of day" is that I was not rejected or disrespected.

[MessyD]

No, never. But for some (not rational) reason, even after 2 and half years of consistency, I'm still waiting for it.

[stopdog]

And the woman broke every promise she made (I did not ask for promises - she would just say "I promise X...) and within 2 weeks X would be broken. I finally told her to stop using words she did not understand.

[autonoe]

My last therapist became extremely judgmental the longer I was with her, to the point she was telling me what to do with my life and making inappropriate comments. For example, I mentioned the possibility of getting pregnant, and she told me I was too old and needed to lose some weight. Not her call to make in either case. We ended up getting into an argument one day, and I never went back. She wrote me an e-mail to apologize and clear things up. I never responded. She was a major control freak, and lacked basic compassion.

[starfishing]

I had a therapist who had a lot of ignorant, disrespectful comments/questions about my sexuality and gender, which led to my firing her. I tried to talk things out, because finding a new therapist sucks and things had been going acceptably with her for long enough that I really didn't want to have to start all over again. But she just blamed me for getting angry and said her (ridiculous, offensive) questions were inherently harmless because they were questions, so I told her how inappropriate she was being, advised her to get more training to fill in her obvious gaps in knowledge, and ended therapy.

[maybeblue]

I had a therapist once who yelled at me. He leaned forward and got too close and seemed quite threatening. He did it more than once. I put that we talked about it and could not resolve it. But to be honest, I didn't give him much of a chance. I called him up and told him he had been threatening and inappropriate and I was terminating. He did apologize, but I considered the relationship irreparable, and I found someone calmer.

[AnnaBegins]

Being told that my negativity drove a wedge into our relationship, being ghosted for a week and being told that I am the kind of person they would want nothing to do with in their personal life...yeah...I've been rejected by my T.

[88Butterfly88]

Once I went to an intake with a new t to work on trauma. She called me manipulative and said we should work on that. I never went back as I was seeking trauma treatment and don't care to be disrespected.

Other. My feedback was disrespected and I was grossly misunderstood by one of them (but I also had zero respect for him at the time). Not rejected, at least I did not perceive anything that my therapists did as rejection, they actually did more the opposite and would not let me go/reduce their involvement far too long even when it would have been better to do so.

For feeling disrespected and misunderstood, I kept explaining myself for a while and when it did not stop, I quit therapy.

[LittleAfrica]

Such appropriate timing. Currently feeling uncared for and disrespected. I chose other as I've chosen to take a break. Too angry to talk it out. Will see what happens when I resume after the break.

[missbella]

I read too quickly and answered the wrong thing in the poll.

I had disastrously antagonistic therapy, with the therapist team shaming and literally shrieking several weeks as I tried to terminate. When I filed a grievance much later, the psychologist said both:

1 He behaved that way to challenge me.
2 I was so in the throes of transference that I was incapable of distinguishing between him and my parents. (Isn’t that psychosis?)

Apparently the state believed him and found his practice perfectly ethical. I lost my grievance. So in one Western State, it’s perfectly fine for psychologists to rage at their clients as far as their peers are concerned.

PS— I never raised my voice to them or acted out in any way.

[Mike_J]

Does her turning down my marriage proposal count as rejection?

[Out There]

Yes , we didn't talk about it and I stopped going to therapy. This was a female T that I had many issues with. She was disrespectful but it was me who did the rejecting.