[the forgotten]

Have you found yourself being envious or jealous of your T's other clients? If so, why? And, how did you handle it? How did your T handle it?

I know I have, I am, and I am not handling it very well. And, my T couldn't figure it out or even understand why in the world I would be envious or have an issue.

[Lemoncake]

I've told him that I'm jealous of his other clients and that I wanted to be his favorite. Sometimes I thought he liked them better than me, because I pay £20 less than his usual fee for each session and I think that I give him a relatively hard time.

[RainyDay107]

No, I’ve had four Ts and have occasionally seen clients coming or going. It does not phase me. But I understand how some could feel that way, sure.

[DP_2017]

I was honest. He handled it well with the most beautiful email

I've learned just being honest about stuff like this is the best plan

[RainyDay107]

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

I've told him that I'm jealous of his other clients and that I wanted to be his favorite. Sometimes I thought he liked them better than me, because I pay £20 less than his usual fee for each session and I think that I give him a relatively hard time.

I had a T tell me I was his favorite client. Just out of the blue. It made me feel special for a little while, but I later wished he hadn’t told me.

[amicus_curiae]

Dear gawd, how many years ago?

Twenty-five years ago, maybe, my shrink asked something akin to, “you know that you’re one of my most interesting patients?” and my mind scurried to gather all the definitions of “interesting” that I knew. I looked at him and burst out laughing and said, “I don’t really want to know your meaning of interesting!””

He said something like, “that’s probably best.”

Then, as was usual, we talked about the Patriots and the Redskins.

[Thalassophile]

Originally Posted by RainyDay107

I had a T tell me I was his favorite client. Just out of the blue. It made me feel special for a little while, but I later wished he hadn’t told me.

Can I ask why you wished this? Just curious as I always imagine I would love to hear my T say this so find it interesting that

[Thalassophile]

It's surprising that your T couldn't understand this as from what I've read it's quite common for clients to feel jealous of other clients. I can't say I have ever felt jealous of other clients though when I've seen them leave after their appointment. That could change though if I was to see him interacting or laughing and joking with them.
I do often have a desire to be his favorite client.

[Teddy Bear]

I always wanted to compare with the other clients.

Sometimes I feel a little twinge of jealousy when I see her laugh and joke with other clients or whatever. I worry that she likes them better or something but then she also tells me stories about taking things home that I had said or about other clients finding joy in a Christmas gift I had given her and it helps to balance out the jealousy. She doesn't forget me outside of my hour and I'm pretty sure she doesn't dread our time together and I'm ok with that.

[autonoe]

I've never thought of my therapist's other clients, but I've only seen one or two of them, and they are always walking out the door when I see them. I've never seen him interact with them. So, I never worry if he likes another client more than he likes me, or if they get to experience him in a different way. I do worry that I bore him or that he secretly wishes I'd stop coming, and I do wish sometimes that I could know if he enjoyed our conversations as much as I sometimes do.

[lilypeppermint]

I’m a bit surprised your T can’t understand this?

My T knows I feel strange about his other clients and just don’t really like to acknowledge their existence.

[MoxieDoxie]

Nope.....even gave his business card to one of my clients in need of talk therapy. If I was to jealous of his other clients I could never do that.

[the forgotten]

For me, it's the realization (after being with my same T for many years) that I am being treated differently. I feel like I am treated like I have Ebola. I am in the no touch/no hug zone (her boundaries, not mine) and found out that it's specific to me, as she regularly hugs other clients, and always has. Of course my hurt little heart imagines she is cuddling with everyone else for their entire session, which I know is not true.

Man this has sent me into such a tailspin and has actually broken my heart. In trying to explain, she was clueless that this would hurt me or be an issue. And when I asked why I was treated differently, that didn't go well either. She wouldn't answer and just sputtered "umm...ah...weeeelllll".

[the forgotten]

Originally Posted by Thalassophile

Can I ask why you wished this? Just curious as I always imagine I would love to hear my T say this so find it interesting that

Yah I am curious too!

[GeekyOne]

No. I don't think about my T's other clients any more than I think about my friends' other friends or doctor's other patients. I don't even care if I am her favourite client. I don't, honestly, see how that could be a valid comparison (between me and her other clients, I mean). I just want her attention and empathy when it's my turn.

[the forgotten]

Originally Posted by GeekyOne

No. I don't think about my T's other clients any more than I think about my friends' other friends or doctor's other patients. I don't even care if I am her favourite client. I don't, honestly, see how that could be a valid comparison (between me and her other clients, I mean). I just want her attention and empathy when it's my turn.

Wow this is so healthy and a very good perspective, thank you!

[elisewin]

No, not at all. I don't really think about them, they are not relevant to me and my therapy. I do like my T a lot and I hope she is doing great job with them as well.

[tomatenoir]

Originally Posted by GeekyOne

No. I don't think about my T's other clients any more than I think about my friends' other friends or doctor's other patients. I don't even care if I am her favourite client. I don't, honestly, see how that could be a valid comparison (between me and her other clients, I mean). I just want her attention and empathy when it's my turn.

I feel the exact same way. I want my hour to be about me, but other than that I don't care.

But then again, I'm not someone who gets jealous often. My wonderful husband is who he is because of the relationships he had before I came along. My therapist is empathetic and skilled because he's worked with, and continues to work with, other people.

[DP_2017]

One thing I try to think about, with other client jealousy is that, we are all in the same boat in the sense we are limited with rules and my T. None of them are getting friendships etc, so it somewhat helps to think in terms of that.