talking about the end

The few times I have brought up when we end, I feel that he resorts to some pat phrase like, "When you no longer want to come, or when I'm no longer able to do therapy." It feels rote. I don't think he really explores it in the same way that he'd explore other things. I don't think he wants me to stop coming. I think for a therapist, having a client want to stop coming must feel like a rejection.

I still feel like we are doing the work of therapy. I get things from our sessions. We aren't just hanging out. I don't feel that I am paying for a friendship. It's undeniable, though, that I am doing so much better now that I think I could go without therapy and be OK.

I think it's a really useful exercise, in thinking about therapy, especially long-term therapy, to ask yourself, "What is it we don't talk about and why?" And then sort of force the conversation. I think both the therapist and the client can collude in not discussing certain things, and sometimes it's the client who has to push the conversation in that direction.