[MRT6211]

I had session today with T, and I told her that yesterday I bought tools to self-harm with. She told me to bring them in and give them to her the next time I see her. I kinda whined like a child and tried to be like “but...”/make excuses but she just called me out on it. So I guess I’ll just bring them. I’ve had previous Ts ask me to do the same with SH tools or old meds that I wanted to hurt myself with. Let’s just say this, though...I knew when I went out and bought them that I was going to be in some sort of trouble with T. She didn’t reprimand/scold me like I expected her to. Probably because I told her after last time she did it that I thought I deserved it and I wanted to do things so that she would yell at me, so she probably didn’t want to give into that. She told me that she understand why I did what I did, but neither condones nor condemns it, but also showed me that SH doesn’t get me anywhere and only holds me back.

Anyway, enough of my rants, has T ever asked you to bring in something that you shouldn’t have/could hurt yourself with and surrender it to them?

[stopdog]

No therapist has ever tried that sort of thing with me. What would be the point? First I would not tell the therapist, second, it is not like I could not go out and get whatever I wanted again even if I was to give the therapist something, and third not their place to do so.

[junkDNA]

he's come to my house and taken a lot of things

[MobiusPsyche]

Yes. I don't want to elaborate.

[lunatic soul]

Originally Posted by junkDNA

he's come to my house and taken a lot of things

Do you think it was okay?
Sounds weird that he came to your house and took away some of your things.

[zoiecat]

Yes my therapist does ask for things and I refuse to give them to him. There are also things that I have that I will never tell him as well.

[lunatic soul]

I gave back medication I didnt take because I was afraid to overdose it again. It was my choice. Noone ever asked me this.
Exception was at hospital but they always do this to protect inpatients from theirselves.

One thing to ask yourself is whether you would do so if you were in your therapist's position. Does it then make sense?

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Yes, twice. Once was just something he was afraid I would impulsively hurt myself with that I had actually purchased for a home improvement project (which I was far too manic to safely do). The other time I'd just been discharged from the hospital and part of my safety plan was that he would have my sharps until he and my pdoc felt I was safe. We also had a way that I could only access my pill boxes in his office until I was deemed safe enough after that time. He didn't keep my meds, just the key to the lockbox they were in. If I'd had anyone else to help with the meds that part wouldn't have happened though.

[LabRat27]

No.
I get it if the person has some kind of sentimental attachment to the tool(s) they use to SH I guess? Or maybe like as a symbolic gesture? I never reuse blades so it would just be stupid and a waste of money for me to hand them over because I would just go buy a new pack like I always do.

[ScarletPimpernel]

She asked me to give her my cigarettes so I'd stop smoking. I didn't have any on me. I've never been asked to turn in my SH objects.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

For me (not a self-harmer but very suicidal at the time) it gave me time to think about whether I really wanted to do something badly enough to drive all the way to the store from my very rural home. There was a time I was asked to not go into certain aisles in the store and that also helped me not gather more stuff to hurt myself with. It wasn't not having things, it was having to take time and think that helped me.

[nottrustin]

I have not but I rarely SH. When I do it is regular household items not knives or anything like that.

[SummerTime12]

My last therapist asked me to turn in my scale to her and I did. To my current t, I gave him some pills I had in my purse that were tempting me.

[missbella]

Loaned a therapist books who then refused my later request to return them. I then understood how she accumulated such a large library.

What would be the point. One can self harm with any tool.
Plus, T is putting herself inside the act.
It's like asking a drunk to give you their booze. What would be the point. It's only you who makes the decision to self harm or not.
T is giving energy to the urge. There almost a pay off.
Yes continue to talk with the self harmer and how eventually the urge to harm will no longer be needed. But asking and badgering for the tools.
Why?

[MRT6211]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

One thing to ask yourself is whether you would do so if you were in your therapist's position. Does it then make sense?

I would honestly do the same. Yes, I could always go and buy more, obviously. The store I bought them from is literally a 1.5 minute drive from my house. However, it puts more steps between me and doing it again, essentially. If I don’t have the tool readily available, there are more steps along the decision making process for me to change my mind and make a more effective decision. Also I think she might be going for the more symbolic gesture type thing here. Me turning them into her is me saying to her that I’m not going to do it again and it’s holding me accountable for actually getting rid of them, rather than just saying that I will or making excuses/justifying keeping them.

I should note, this time the tool I bought wasn’t blades, it was something a lot less severe. I got those little needles that diabetics use to poke holes in their fingers, they’re called lancets. I went for “harm reduction” and didn’t get blades or a scalpel like I wanted to. I find it interesting that she asked me to turn them in, but when I had gotten blades last time, when I actually relapsed with the cutting, she didn’t make me give them to her. She just kept telling me to throw them out. And then after I did it, she was like “this is why I told you...” then she asked if I thrown them out after and I hadn’t and she was very much so not happy with me for that. I guess this time maybe she’s trying to be more direct and stop it before it escalates? Probably.

It sucks though in a way because I have 100 needles and I only got to use 1 lol. But I’m happy to follow her orders, because I know it’s what is best for me, and for her to ask this of me makes me feel cared about, weirdly enough.

me feel cared about, weirdly enough.......

Yup that's the energy T is putting into the act.
I use to self harm to get someone to show they cared about me.
Thsts a, fine line to Walk between enabling and working with the issue.

So the client learns one can be cared for without having to self harm.
That took me years.

This all seems really odd to me. A therapist can't (and should not be attempting to) "make" you give them a physical object. I have years of experience of working with women who self-harm in very significant ways and it has never been approved practice to remove objects from them (unless they are in an imminently life threatening situation and it is safe for the worker to do so). There are too many unmanageable risks associated with it: it is not a long term strategy, is disempowering for the client, encourages (co-)dependence, the worker becomes "involved" with self-injurious behaviour, etc etc. Maybe practice is different in other parts of the world, but this thread is very strange to me.

[stopdog]

I don’t think a therapist gets to make a client do anything. I also don't see it as their position to scold or reprimand a client. Therapists do not get to to tell me how to live my life.

[MRT6211]

Originally Posted by long_gone

This all seems really odd to me. A therapist can't (and should not be attempting to) "make" you give them a physical object. I have years of experience of working with women who self-harm in very significant ways and it has never been approved practice to remove objects from them (unless they are in an imminently life threatening situation and it is safe for the worker to do so). There are too many unmanageable risks associated with it: it is not a long term strategy, is disempowering for the client, encourages (co-)dependence, the worker becomes "involved" with self-injurious behaviour, etc etc. Maybe practice is different in other parts of the world, but this thread is very strange to me.

While she can’t literally make me give them to her (unless I’m inpatient or something, then they can take things away), but she can request it, and I trust her and her judgment, and I value our work together, so I will do it.

[seeker33]

I wouldn't do it. It would feel extremely strange. I would feel out of control, I would feel it just proves the idea that I'm "insane" which something that causes me anxiety. Of course, it wouldn't solve the issue at all. Since I can use anything, including my own fists or hit my head etc...
I would find it very humiliating if T even asked this question.

[MobiusPsyche]

It did not feel coercive to me. It felt like T cared about me and wanted me to be safe and if T holding certain objects would make me feel safer then all to the good.

[Tbhimscared]

my T asked me to give her my pills I had stashed away. She just asked if I could bring them to her the next day and I agreed I didn't really fight it or anything, so I'm not sure how hard she would've pushed for me to hand them over. She probably would've asked me why I wanted to keep them if I said no and then if I didn't have a good reason that would have probably led to her asking me to go to the ER