[benzenering]

I'm moving away because I'm leaving my husband (encouraged to reach this decision by numerous medical professionals, including T, who I'm thankful for). It has taken a long time to arrive at this decision, but tomorrow is THE DAY.

My T will now be quite a drive away, around 45 minutes one way, through stressful traffic. So the time commitment to continue to see him is 2 1/2 hours (including the one hour appointment), and this after a full day plus of work. I've seen him for a year and a half and we have a good relationship. However, I recently changed from night shift to day shift so T is having issues giving me regular appointments after work because all of his time slots are taken. I'm having to wait two weeks or more. That being said, I feel like I will need someone to depend on once I leave my husband of twenty years. I'm feeling very sensitive today, and it doesn't happen for real until tomorrow. I don't have much support other than my medical team...a few coworkers I'd consider friends, but I really can't disclose much to them because they are coworkers. Also, to add fuel to the fire, I'm getting a puppy first thing after I move out, so I will have a "newborn" to attend to, and taking the time to drive that far doesn't seem realistic.

Thoughts?

[healinginprogress]

That sounds really hard. I'm sorry. I can understand wanting to stay with your current T. Can you find a T closer to home that you could start transitioning to though? See current T when you can, but then see a new T on the weeks you can't get in?

I'm sorry you're going through this. ::

[nottrustin]

My thought are: you are making huge changes (congrats on that). You will be on your own and moving to a new area. It might be a good idea to at least have the consistency of having your T during the transition. If possible start looking for a new T closer to the new area.

Good luck with all the changes. You are facing an upheaval but it all is for the better good (how nice about a four-footed companion).

As for the time duration necessary for your therapy try to think of it as a good investment in yourself. I detect that you might feel guilty about this time. Consider that you are worthy and deserve it.

While it doesn't seem long to me, I can understand stress will only amplify it. Perhaps before you leave for your sessions practise some gratitude. Tell yourself you are worth it. Tell yourself this is for good. Tell yourself it will get you out of the house, etc. While on the drive, maybe use the time to think about that which you want to say; what went well this week? SImilarly on the way home maybe use the time to give yourself a pat on the back for attending.

There was a time when I had a particularly long commute. I was able to use the driving time to reflect on my work day and think about/problem solve the coming day. In this way, I arrived home fresh having left work behind me.

[Moment]

I personally would not get a puppy (too much added stress) and would do everything in my power to continue sessions with my regular therapist during such a emotional time and huge life transition.

I don't think spending 2 and a half hours on your own mental health every other week is a huge amount of time; indeed, I wonder if you could go more frequently during this transition period.

[Echos Myron redux]

I faced a similar move about a year ago and I now drive 1h 10m each way to see my T. I am kind of used to it now. We had a weird period where T was convinced the move would make me leave and we ended up having to work through some stuff there. But ultimately I've adapted and its worth the drive to me. It's my time.

I have always had at least an hour drive to therapy in heavy traffic. But its always been hepful so I considered it worth it, even after a long day at work. I always just have things to do in the car I ennoy such as listening to books on Cd or podcasts. Or time to pray, or talk on the phone.

[starfishing]

It's up to you, of course, but I could see there being a lot of benefit to holding onto the stability and support of continuing seeing your current therapist given the challenging and difficult time you're going through.

Personally, I usually have to leave over an hour of travel time each way for therapy, and with two appointments that's at least a 6 hour commitment per week. It's very, very worth it to me in order to see a therapist who's actually good and helpful.

[benzenering]

Sounds like everyone is encouraging me to make the drive, at least in the short term. In thinking it through, though, I think I will begin to search for a new one who is closer to replace him eventually. Does anyone know if insurance will pay for two T's at the same time? My budget will be tight.

[Lemoncake]

I see my therapist online on Skype whenever I'm not in London. It does feel a bit different, but I wouldn't be able to continue to see him otherwise as I live around 6 hours away during term time. A big plus for me is that I also save on travel money. Could this be possible for you?

[nottrustin]

You will have to check with your insurance to see of they will cover 2. Mine will as long as I don't see them on the same dat...but not all will.

[HowDoYouFeelMeow?]

I drive 1.5 hours each way, but enjoy it. On the way there I think about what I want to say, and on the way back I process what was said. Best of luck!