[mcl6136]

I'm in a taking-stock kind of mood. I've been in therapy a few times (well, who am I kidding? I've been in therapy much of my adult life.

Without my first therapist, I would still hate my mother;

Without my second therapist, I would still hate my father;

Without my third therapist, I would have a lot more money -- I spent way too much on that rat-ba#$%d

Without my four therapist, I would have a lot more time. I frittered away session after session, chit-chatting.

Without my current therapist, I would not have left a destructive job that was near to my heart but taking up ALL my energy and had turned destructive.

What would your life have been like had you not met your T. I realize it's just conjecture, but maybe you have given this some thought?

[MoxieDoxie]

I would be dead

[mcl6136]

Yeah...that's where I would have been, between T1 and T2!

[Elio]

Possibly dead had I not gone to therapy at all; that was where I was when I entered therapy after a life altering event. Had I met a different therapist that didn't connect with me as well, I'd probably be alive, but not lost the weight, had the gender altering surgeries, have a different job.

[LostOnTheTrail]

Excepting the two grief counsellors I have seen so far....

If I hadn't met my third T, I wouldn't flinch every time somebody tried to mention serotonin
If I hadn't met my fourth T, I wouldn't have understood how my ease of attachment affects me.
If I hadn't met my fifth T, I would...never have found my sixth.
And if I hadn't met my sixth T, I would not be in a place where I can envisage there being a light at the end of the tunnel, and I wouldn't have a steadfast companion on this arduous journey.

[stopdog]

The same place I am now. I would probably not even have more money because I probably just would have spent it on a different hobby. Therapy has had no real bearing on my life.

[satsuma]

I think i would be still suffering from a lot of illness (I was having stress-related things to do with my heart and other things). Maybe I would have lost my job, or is be on long-term sickness.
I think that lots of good things that have happened might not have happened - to do with relationships with family members, my job and career, and financial decisions as well. Although therapy is expensive I think I deal with my finances better as a result of changes that have happened through therapy.

[Taylor27]

I would be still stuck in my past, probably dead.

I would be exactly where I spent most of my life, powerless and letting everyone walk all over me. I would be miserable and suicidal (but too chicken to actually act on it) and with zero hope for the future. A mindless, emotionless zombie stumbling through life accepting crap treatment from everyone as punishment for my perceived inadequacies.

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by besidemyselvez

I would be exactly where I spent most of my life, powerless and letting everyone walk all over me. I would be miserable and suicidal (but too chicken to actually act on it) and with zero hope for the future. A mindless, emotionless zombie stumbling through life accepting crap treatment from everyone as punishment for my perceived inadequacies.

Me too! That’s exactly where I would be.

[unaluna]

Well, 2 choices - either dead, or if i had not seen therapy as an option, then i would never have thought that my family would ever get therapy either, right? So maybe then i would have run off as soon as i could, instead of staying and trying to work things out reasonably, which obviously never effing happened.

[weaverbeaver]

I would most definitely be dead. T saved my life and showed me that I still could live and feel those feelings.
It was the most awful period of my life and I am so grateful I had t.

I would be divorced and living with my mother, or dead. Well, dead. Because living with my mother again would have killed me anyway.

[MobiusPsyche]

I would be barely functional in my job and have no personal life and I'd probably have a couple more hospital admissions under my belt. I'm still working on the personal life part, but I am doing much better at handling work demands well. My depression is no longer crippling; it's still a struggle though.

[marcoleap]

Barely functional and possibly dead.

[nottrustin]

At times I think about this. Usually I think about how I thought I was functioning just fin I was just struggling with parenting and grief. I wouldn't be on such am emotional rollercoaster and fisassociating.

Reality is though I, I would not be there parent I am with 3 amazing successful children, I would no longer be in situations I felt uncomfortable with. Most importantly, I highly doubt I would have such a great network of a church family.

[ruh roh]

In a vacation home I could have purchased with the money saved.

But then I would not be nearly as awesome as I am as a result of therapy.

Well, you are awesome, ruh roh.

My mother would still be hitting me. I wouldn't be dead but I would still have been with bad "frievds" who barely tolerated me and liked bullying me.

[annielovesbacon]

Without my first therapist, I wouldn't understand the process of therapy and how to utilize it to my benefit. I wouldn't understand what does and does not help me.

Without my current therapist, geez, I don't know where I'd be. Dead, maybe. My addictions and eating disorder would probably be much, much worse. Without her and my psychiatrist working together, I would not be on the helpful medicine I am on now.

[Lemoncake]

I met current T three months after deciding I would kill myself. I honestly couldn't see myself living beyond the age of 26.

I had terrible guilt, anxiety and panic attacks as a child. And always believed that it was my fault that I was like that. He made me realize that all of that was a response to growing up in an emotionally and physically abusive home.

I learnt to set boundaries and to stand up for myself. To not be so desperate to please everyone and say no to things I didn't want to do.

Still working on self love, integration and all that jazz.

I don't know. Who does really. Maybe dead. Maybe not. Like asking who I would have been if I hadn't been adopted. I dont know. Who I would have been without all the abuse. I don't know.

[TeaVicar?]

£10k better off.

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by Mouse_62

I don't know. Who does really. Maybe dead. Maybe not. Like asking who I would have been if I hadn't been adopted. I dont know. Who I would have been without all the abuse. I don't know.

Like I said, this is merely conjecture.