[MissCharlotte]

My fantasy:

I'm quitting therapy. I'm going back to normal. I'm going to wake up tomorrow morning, and burn my journal (with the letter I just wrote to T). Then I'll go to work. Instead of rushing to therapy I'll come home after work and I'll cook dinner for my family. Maybe I'll vacuum and spend some time on the phone just chatting with my sister. I'll figure out the menu for Thanksgiving dinner. I won't come on PC anymore. I'll throw on a load of wash and take out a trashy novel and read it. I'll walk the dog. My mind won't race...I won't have any crazy thoughts and my son will be well. I will not worry about anything. I won't need anti depressants because I won't be depressed. I won't need anything for anxiety becaue there will be nothing to be anxious about. I'll take my childhood and put it back in the closet, on the shelf, in a box.

Yeah, I'm quitting and I'm going back to normal. OK?

[Kiya]

just as long as you be sure to send us a post card with a good detailed picture, and a sign that says "Wish we were here".
kiya

[Cyran0]

I think Kiya just said it all.

[Perna]

Trashy novel, thanks for reminding me! I have one to take to a friend this morning.

The problem is, you're invested in T and here, in us at PC, and you though technically you "could" walk away, it wouldn't be painless and easy like your fantasy. So the reality of your fantasy is incorrect and you might as well come up with a fantasy that works (you work hard and enjoy T and here and gradually get betterer and betterer and we all see and are proud of you and ask your advice on how you did it, etc.) There will be other "Thanksgivings" but there will never be another you (corny song playing in the background).

[Mouse_]

No don't do that Sister, if you do that then you take away the Sister we know here and love!

[MissCharlotte]

Oh God,

Thank you all of course you are all right!

But I didnt think I'd have to leave me behind again and so I will go. But I DON"T WANT TO.

I love fantasies. They allow you to avoid/escape the pain. I don't know about you, but I don't care what my T says, I'm holding onto them until I feel I can face reality! (When will that be? Maybe never) Take care!

It's okay to fantasize about those things. I fantasize about quitting therapy, too..... that I tell him, "%#@&#! you! I'm never coming back!" Of course that would never happen. But I believe we learn so much from our fantasies. Sometimes I bring my silly little fantasies into session and tell T about them-- like when I created my "perfect session" fantasy-- there was a lot in there, you know?

Anyway, just don't quit PC. I would miss you way too much.