I do this a lot. I've been with my T for 2 years now and have frequently pulled back, caused ruptures, whatever. I do it. I own up to it. We work it out. This time it's different. This time I feel like she is the one pulling away. I feel like she is putting distance between us, like there is something off there and I know I need to being it up but I am terrified. I think she's different now, she is changed and I don't like it one bit. I want my old, fun T back.

Could be there has been no change and something is becoming conscious in you giving the impression something in the outside has changed.
Could be T has thought about what is working and what isn't and has change to bring about change.
Maybe talk about it.

[SalingerEsme]

This is such a scary feeling, and I am sorry you are deep in it. A sudden sense of distance that seems inexplicable and hard to cross back makes me panicky too. I think this happens in all relationships- there will be a failure of feeling and then it will come back fine. Lots of times , it goes unnoticed, but perceptive or hyper vigilant people pick up on it more and feel it. I don't know what I hate more- nothing a failure of feeling in myself or noticing it toward me in someone to whom I usually feel connected. When this happened to me with T, I freaked out and you can see all the posts about it here. I don't think anyone does it on purpose, and it can pass barely noticed or snowball into a big problem.

[CantExplain]

I had a rupture like this with Madame T. I felt I was reaching out but she was not reaching back. I still don't understand what happened.

[Fuzzybear]

I can definitely relate to a rupture (more than one rupture) where I was reaching out, within the “normal therapeutic boundaries” (as set by the T and with which I “complied” ) and the T was distant, ..... I don’t understand it. I hope you can resolve this with your therapist

[koru_kiwi]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

I had a rupture like this with Madame T. I felt I was reaching out but she was not reaching back. I still don't understand what happened.

me too...

[Thalassophile]

Can you explain more about what you think is different with her?

Something similar happened with my T and it was very confusing and painful. It was hard to know if it is me or him and It was difficult to even put what it was into words. All I knew was that there WAS something happening. If your T is pulling away she may be doing so consciously or unconsciously. Be prepared for her to deny that she is doing so and willing to explore it further if you feel that's what is happening. Trust your feelings!

[koru_kiwi]

Originally Posted by Thalassophile

Something similar happened with my T and it was very confusing and painful. It was hard to know if it is me or him and It was difficult to even put what it was into words. All I knew was that there WAS something happening.

often when i experienced my T this way, it usually coincided post supervision...

Originally Posted by Thalassophile

Can you explain more about what you think is different with her?

She just feels distant. I get the impression that she is bored or frustrated with me because what we were trying wasn't working. Since we stopped that, we havent focused on anything. Its all been fluff. She seems distracted and interested in details that are not really relevant to me or my life.... I know I need to bring it up to her but I am struggling to feel connected enough so that i feel safe doing that.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by besidemyselvez

She just feels distant. I get the impression that she is bored or frustrated with me because what we were trying wasn't working. Since we stopped that, we havent focused on anything. Its all been fluff. She seems distracted and interested in details that are not really relevant to me or my life.... I know I need to bring it up to her but I am struggling to feel connected enough so that i feel safe doing that.

Have you mentioned that to her? Ts can get distracted or worn out.

Originally Posted by CantExplain

Have you mentioned that to her? Ts can get distracted or worn out.

This is the plan. I wrote everything out to give to her on Friday. *crosses fingers"