[coolibrarian]

I've read so many times that therapists have "heard it all," but I'm not sure I believe it. There's something that I need to talk about, but it's pretty embarrassing to me. But I know I need to talk about it, because I keep thinking about it. I've told my T some of what it's about, but not the thing itself. Anyway, now with her health threatened, I've put it on the back burner for a bit.

Do you think Ts have really "heard it all?"

[fille_folle]

I don't believe it. I have worked with therapists and I know that it's not true.

[stopdog]

In specifics - I doubt it. In general terms - probably after practicing for a while they can put information/people into categories. As a public defender, I heard and saw a lot of things. So after a while - most things were not a surprise or shocking in general even where some of the things my clients chose to do could still be unique.

[starfishing]

No, they haven't heard it all. But a competent therapist should be able to handle whatever disclosures a client makes.

Enough to have an understanding of most reactions I believe.

[MoxieDoxie]

My therapist only in his 30's and maybe practicing for 6 yrs so NO he has not heard it all as of yet. I guess it depends on how much time they have been doing therapy and what kind and what type of clients they attract.

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

It's hard to have heard 'everything'. I doubt that's even possible. Every person, situation and experience is unique. I think what is meant by that statement is that they have heard a LOT of different things which, in case of trauma for example, boils down to 'people can be really horrible, scary or weird'.

The fact why it helps to imagine they have heard what you would say before is, as far as I understand, because that would mean the T is not shocked or surprised by what you say. And I think this applies for all Ts that are not completely new to the field. They have maybe not heard your exact story. But they have heard similar experiences, or even things that are not directly similar but still have some connection for them between them. And that helps them not be surprised by whatever you bring up, and they know how to handle the things and help you even if they haven't heard of this exact thing before.

[DP_2017]

Of course not, every therapist will have "Firsts" along the way. There is no possible way every therapist has heard every possible thing as all clients/t's are not the same.

My T for example is only going on year 6 of being a T.... and most of those time's it has been with special needs clients, so there is alot of new stuff along the way, I've brought some of it myself, in fact we are currently "Stumped" with how to help me with something but both trying to figure out a good way to do so.

I think it would be better if they said "they accept it all" but even that would be a fallacy. I know for a fact there are some clients my T won't see because of personal beliefs (which I really can't blame her on, I would feel similar). I have brought things to her that have shocked her but she accepted and helped me work through them.

I've had a short stint in counselling school and have a therapist friend studying post grad and honestly, no, therapists definitely haven't heard it all. They're just regular people.

I've brought up stuff my ex T told me she's never had a client bring up before. Current T too. And yet the issues I'd brought up are common issues in my demographic and subculture but completely foreign to my therapists...despite how we're born and bred in the same small country... They both have less than 10 years experience as therapists though...

I don't think anyone has heard it all. People with an interest in human nature, especially in positions involving management and otherwise dealing with many people, get to hear and recognize main trends, sources of suffering and emotional blocks, personality etc, and can develop a level of immunity to be personally overwhelmed and traumatized vicariously. Or the opposite: become more open and receptive to others' sharing and experiences. But the number of variables are virtually endless and every interpersonal experience is both unique and novel in many ways. I think if someone says they have heard and experienced it all can be more a sign of burnout and apathy rather than realistic perspective. It is very possible to arrive at a level of perception and life experience where things do not shock and overly disturb us though. Be it a therapist or not. I personally feel that in my own life, the most effective "immunity" of this kind is coming from experiencing my own challenges, limitations, periods of being stuck, despair, and aging itself. Naturally, I tend to relate more deeply and realistically to others who describe and have been through experiences similar to my own, but primarily cognitive understanding and knowledge acquired through reading, listening, and navigating a broad variety of interpersonal relationships also helps. I don't think it's unique to therapists at all and there are Ts who are just unable to hear and deal with certain things - I had one of those.

[CharlieStarDust]

I hate that phrase. I know it’s meant to calm ones fears, but I always look at it as such: maybe they’ve heard it all before, but I don’t go around telling everyone my story. So it’s still hard. Like going to the dr and needing to get naked. Sure, they see naked bodies all the time, but I don’t show my body all the time to everyone. So ultimately, knowing this isn’t a big deal to them, does nothing to alleviate my anxieties around talking about certain things.

[ScarletPimpernel]

My T knew of my secret before I told her, but it was from education she knew, not from hearing it from other clients. She said I'm the first client to admit it to her.

[SalingerEsme]

My T has heard it all, and the draw back is he is inured in a way. The plus is he can hear absolutely anything and not overreact and be present.

[AllHeart]

Literally speaking, no. No one could hear it all.

Figuratively speaking, yes, for some. It's more that they've heard so many stories in their lifetime that nothing more could shock them.

[velcro003]

Originally Posted by CharlieStarDust

I hate that phrase. I know it’s meant to calm ones fears, but I always look at it as such: maybe they’ve heard it all before, but I don’t go around telling everyone my story. So it’s still hard. Like going to the dr and needing to get naked. Sure, they see naked bodies all the time, but I don’t show my body all the time to everyone. So ultimately, knowing this isn’t a big deal to them, does nothing to alleviate my anxieties around talking about certain things.

I don't hate the phrase, but I would probably not be happy if my T said that to me. I agree with you, when my T tries to normalize things for me, it only makes me feel worse.

[CantExplain]

They can't possibly have heard it all. Human experience is too varied for that.

Having said that, there are a great many recurring patterns and many things we find shameful are more common than we think.

[Anne2.0]

I would scoff if my T said that to me. I think he's experienced enough to know better. Perhaps a more useful thing to say is that I'm okay with whatever you want to tell me-- I won't run screaming from the room or otherwise freak out on you. That has been the case so far.

[Erebos]

Depends, my Pdoc works with drug addicts, prostitutes, criminals, all the waifs and strays....pretty sure he has heard things that would make your ears bleed.

But the majority of private practice Ts, and anyone who has been in the job less than 10 years, probably not.

...And I refuse to get drawn into the literal /figurative thing cos that's just absurd....obviously it's not literal.
Are some T's passed getting awkward and uncomfortable...yes I believe some have heard so much that they are able to roll with most of anything.

[Fuzzybear]

If a T didn’t freak on me or harshly judge me that would be an improvement..

I agree that most who’ve been in the job less than 10 - 30 years are unlikely to have “heard it all” (not sure what that means though)

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

If a T didn’t freak on me or harshly judge me that would be an improvement..

I agree that most who’ve been in the job less than 10 - 30 years are unlikely to have “heard it all” (not sure what that means though)

You have a judgmental T?

[atisketatasket]

I thought of this thread last night when I was reading about Katherine Ann Power, the 1960s radical. After she turned herself in, her therapist commented how shocked she was when Power told her her story. So I’m guessing the therapist hadn’t heard “I was on the FBI’s Ten Most Wanted list for 14 years” before.

[HALLIEBETH87]

Well I work in an office full of therapists so I'm
Gonna say no lol I know one for a fact who didn't know whst sexting is