[Crook32]

I hate it when I email my T a question that is legitimate and just want her opinion and she still ignores it. I was invited to a mental health conference and it is on short notice so I need to answer quickly. I wanted her opinion if she thinks it is worth it because I will have to take time off work. But because we are having a little rift right now she is ignoring me. You know Ts always blame us for being childish but so can they.

[nottrustin]

Is it possible she is not ignoring you but rather that something has come up and she hasn't received the message. When I would get frustrated because T did not respond usually it was because her computer wasn't working, she was sick, or haf a family emergency

[Crook32]

Originally Posted by nottrustin

Is it possible she is not ignoring you but rather that something has come up and she hasn't received the message. When I would get frustrated because T did not respond usually it was because her computer wasn't working, she was sick, or haf a family emergency

No I am pretty sure she is ignoring me because of the argument we are having right now. She can be very annoying at times.

[nottrustin]

I am so sorry!!

[DP_2017]

My t began ignoring emails. Annoying. I no longer email. Causes too much misunderstanding anyway

Sorry it happened

[Fuzzybear]

I’m sorry she’s ignoring you

[hopealwayz]

I’m sorry that is happening to you.

I know how it feels. It’s a bad feeling.

Originally Posted by Crook32

I hate it when I email my T a question that is legitimate and just want her opinion and she still ignores it. I was invited to a mental health conference and it is on short notice so I need to answer quickly. I wanted her opinion if she thinks it is worth it because I will have to take time off work. But because we are having a little rift right now she is ignoring me. You know Ts always blame us for being childish but so can they.

Huh? T's, don't always behave in that way. Thats foo stuff. I don't expect it in my therapy and never have had it.

[sugarbeeMe]

Are there others from whom you can get advice about this conference?

[Amyjay]

Maybe she thinks you can make the decision by yourself? It isn't really urgent, right? I wonder if it was more of a check-in on your part rather than a genuine need for her to give you her opinion of whether you should choose to go to it or not?

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Amyjay

Maybe she thinks you can make the decision by yourself?

Then why doesn't she say exactly that?

[Crook32]

Originally Posted by Amyjay

Maybe she thinks you can make the decision by yourself? It isn't really urgent, right? I wonder if it was more of a check-in on your part rather than a genuine need for her to give you her opinion of whether you should choose to go to it or not?

No I really need to know if she thinks it is worth it. It starts Thursday so I need to let them know at work today if I am going to take off.

[sugarbeeMe]

Do you think it’s worth it? You are ultimately responsible for your decision. If you choose to go, and it doesn’t work out well, then live and learn. Make your best decision with the knowledge you can collect.

[fille_folle]

It seems to me that you are putting a lot of responsibility on your T to make this choice for you. That's not part of her job. I'm also not sure that she would agree that this issue is urgent, as it is one you should be making yourself.

My thoughts? You need to make your own decisions. It would be unprofessional of her to make them for you. But I am also giving thought to the email itself.... has she given you permission or encouraged you to email? I certainly would never do so with my own therapist and psychiatrist.

[Lemoncake]

Personally my T has never told me what to do.

Do you actually want to go to the event?

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by fille_folle

It seems to me that you are putting a lot of responsibility on your T to make this choice for you. That's not part of her job. I'm also not sure that she would agree that this issue is urgent, as it is one you should be making yourself.

I think Crook is entitled to ask for advice.

And I think the main point here is she didn't get any reply at all. (See thread title.)

[Amyjay]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

I think Crook is entitled to ask for advice.

And I think the main point here is she didn't get any reply at all. (See thread title.)

Therapists are not bound to reply to emails. There are many, many reasons why it isn't a good idea for therapists to do so.

[stopdog]

I do not understand the rush to blame the client but give the therapist a pass. what other professionals do people twist themselves and logic up so much to justify bad behavior to someone they are paying to perform a service?

[sugarbeeMe]

In my experience, one part of the therapist/ client relationship is to learn about healthy relationship boundaries, learning where my responsibilities stop and the other person”s begins- who is responsible for what in a healthy relationship. Anyway, this is one way I had an opportunity to learn about strong, solid connections with other people. Healthy = Happy

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by sugarbeeMe

In my experience, one part of the therapist/ client relationship is to learn about healthy relationship boundaries, learning where my responsibilities stop and the other person”s begins- who is responsible for what in a healthy relationship. Anyway, this is one way I had an opportunity to learn about strong, solid connections with other people. Healthy = Happy

I certainly have not found this in therapy.

But I agree, this is one of the services therapists are supposed to deliver.

[SalingerEsme]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I do not understand the rush to blame the client but give the therapist a pass. what other professionals do people twist themselves and logic up so much to justify bad behavior to someone they are paying to perform a service?

For sure, I agree with this. All professionals need to return email in this day and age. I just read a book by a psychologist lamenting why longterm/ psychodynamic. psychoanalytic psychotherapy is dying out for more "fast food" options. I don't think it IS bc of the in session time so much as psychologists acting as though their time is more precious and sacrosanct that any one else's. I have T's as clients, and they are no more respectful of my time or less likely to email than any others, ironically. I do think the unavailability of the T is designed to heighten their authority / specialness in the eye of the patient so they can be more influential, but for some of us we don't need that heightened state bc we are already paying immense attention.

[sugarbeeMe]

[QUOTE=Fuzzybear;6157955]I certainly have not found this in therapy.
But I agree, this is one of the services therapists are supposed to deliver.

Fuzzy, Why does it not work for you?

[Fuzzybear]

[QUOTE=sugarbeeMe;6158188]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I certainly have not found this in therapy.
But I agree, this is one of the services therapists are supposed to deliver.

Fuzzy, Why does it not work for you?

I haven’t found a therapist who discloses their background. Or who I have felt respected by

[sugarbeeMe]

[QUOTE=Fuzzybear;6158193]

Originally Posted by sugarbeeMe

I haven’t found a therapist who discloses their background. Or who I have felt respected by

I have a thought. I’m thinking that having untrustworthy parents makes it ALOT harder to trust therapists. I often looked to trustworthy therapists for guidance- but only after I believed they meant me no harm. They are kind of in a position of an authority figure. What do you think?